A guilty pleasure of carnal exuberance
Congenital aspirations met with no defiance
I've found luxury in finding what was sought
A frivolous triumph taken with moderate pace
Though, A willful pursuance it was not
Merely a loafing fate met face to face
stares from the immoralists fronting smiles
lust takes form in the death of self denial

From the heated chase of senseless sin
Or, a marriage founded on a whim or gin
We are the hypocrisies of unconditional romances
The mindless breed of Objective contradictions
Aloof in the thought of all our un-taken chances
Content with the notion that it's willful conviction
Moving our limbs onto each other with passion-
In a not so convincing mechanical fashion

The pang of departure becomes idle and true
As the woman's desire decides on life anew
Free'd of commitment and it's anchoring pull
To set loose the labours of a dwindling kiss
Where compassion lay ready and yearns to be full
cleansed of the sound from the victims cold hiss
Echoing through the basin of his darkened prison
The hatred and spite of the fallen has risen

To find meaning in sorrow and his empty feeling
Distraught in the rhetoric she left for his healing
Mocking the hollow cadaver left scarred and alone
He watches the darkness slip into a vivid irony
How could the heartless turn the living to stone?
Or the simplest of notes fade into a weary eulogy?
This must be some kind of cruel joke on repeat
But, How can we laugh at the likeness of love and deceit?

what I had of you
what you were to me
what I wish wasn't true
You're dead  

you no longer live with me
you no longer live within me
I don't know where you went

I wanted you to come back
You did
Did you take away what was left of you,
What was with me?
You took it away from me
You took you away

You removed yourself from me
And I finally let you go

My heart aches for you
But I will not beg

You loved me, you love me
but you left, it's okay

goodbye
I don't wish to see you
The only place I long for you is in my dreams

I want to leave this planet
I want to enter a realm of peace
I want to be saved- from myself, these thoughts, 5 years of this and I'm tired of it
I want to give up

I had you in the palm of my hand
I held on too tight.. I guess
I never wanted you to go, I just wanted you stay

I...
I crushed you
I let you crumble, but you were still in my hand
I still had you

Then
I let you slip away
Slipped through the cracks..

Through my fingertips,
You fell
I tried to pick you up
But I only got pieces and particles

I'm sorry I let you crumble
It's my turn now,
So far
no one's tried to pick up my pieces

a  e  i  o  u  and opposing thumbs*

my woman, she's a
snuggler and spooner.

burying herself on my,
no, in my
double barreled chest,
her blonde hair,
my field of gold.^

she landscapes my life,
paralyzing me with the
simplest of gestures.

she sleeps holding my thumbs.
locks me up.
locks me down.
so I cannot transcribe
the lines of poetry mindful,
landlines shut,
land-mines of verse
unexploded,
till these now,
hours later.

a few notes ago,
a few days ago,
heard an octet,
eight voices singing of
five letters, five vowels,
a  e  i  o  u.

you can hear what I heard too.

after you listen,
better understand
vowels are the butter of language.
the anointing oil of connectivity.
more than a line of code,
they are the keys to the code,
that make words and life musical.

I suppose we could mange without them if we had to.
spsz v cd mng wthot thm ff v hd t.

but not so well.

I suppose we could manage
without opposing thumbs.
learn to type with my nose,
paint with my toes.
but not so well.

here is how it comes all together.
a  e  i  o  u  and opposing thumbs,
never give them more than a
never thought, passing over, assumed.

oh yeah, on some tv show,
you can buy a vowel.

these glues are the things that
give me the chance to tell this:

this poem it is a bit about me.
this poem it is a bit about her.
this poem is really about you.

I could live without
a  e  i  o  u  and opposing thumbs.
but I could not live
without her landscaping my chest.

but
when I share this knowledge
with you friend, it becomes a
verified, realized, acknowledged truth.

So you see this poem is about
a  e  i  o  u  and opposing thumbs,
but really about you.

In fact, I am thinking,
that if I did not love the title
a  e  i  o  u  and opposing thumbs
so much,
would entitle it instead,
a wholesome democracy of love.*

you, a registered voter,
vote then with both all the
a  e  i  o  u  and opposing thumbs
at your disposal.

You were a substitute
For something I once had
A second - best replacement
To one whom I once loved

I took advantage of your affections
Your sincerity and love
And used it for my own selfish desires
To numb the pain in my heart

You were my perfect revenge to him
To show I've moved on
Because you were loving and gentle
Something he once were

At first, I felt triumphant
Yet empty as it all seems
You were never good enough
The same way he was to me.

You were the exact opposite
Devoted, faithful, and true
But I still wasn't satisfied
Because he wasn't you

And every time I held your hand
Or flirted back at you
All I can think about was him
And what he always used to do

Like when he'd whisper sweet nothings
You would shout it out to the world
He would hold me close and short
You'd prefer to never let me go

Yet why couldn't I
Belong to you like I did to him
Love you as much, even more
Than what I used to give

But his memories continues to haunt me
Though you were always there
And as I look at you
I always see him

I couldn't hurt you any longer
That would just be unfair
To keep comparing you to him
In every way I can

So, to finally end
I'm sorry, I never loved you
Or reciprocated your sincerity in any way
But I would not keep hold of you any longer.

As cliche as it may sound to you
I know it does to me
I'm sorry, just know it wasn't you
It has always been me.