Earth, holding its breath,
willing the droplets down
into its warm, waiting skin.

Amplified senses
drawing on the palpable air,
willing the heavens to quenching chaos.

Your touch went deeper than my skin.
You've penetrated my being.
I breathe you in.
You've seeped into my every cell.
I have your name tattooed on my heart.

Dreamers dream their dreams
in color, their dreams
backed by belief, by hope.

Their dreams shed every shade
of shadow, every evening
into eternity they elope.

Feel the lush green grass
seperate your toes
cushioning your soles.
The scent of spring blossoming,
wafting around you
the sweet scent of
yellows, purples, oranges and pinks.
Invited by birdsong and butterflies,
get lost in paradise,
warm sun on your face
painting the dawn in hues
of blues and golds.

Dancing on leaves of flowers.
Swimming down water so clear.
Sleeping in cracks of an oak-tree.
Dreaming of things so dear.

Clutching hands as we jump off a mountain.
Getting lost in a maze of love.
Watch the display as we’re kissing.
Flying high on the wings of a dove.

Hide-and-go seek in the forest.
Whispers of words in secrecy.
This is the world I’ve imagined.
Our world of pure fantasy.

Chasing after blueberry fairies.
Wearing their wings on our backs.
Swooping through thistledown fields.
Making up for the things you lack.

Building sandcastles by the river.
Drinking dew from a redrose leaf.
Cuddling at a warm, cozy fire.
Creating memories in which to believe.

Eating white cream and strawberries.
Laughing at elves in a tree.
This is the world I’ve imagined.
My world of pure fantasy.

Rolling boulders ripping through the sky.
Beneath, with bated breath I lie.
Mother nature's pregnant swell, showing.  
One final crack of the whip, glowing.
The quenching droplets rapidly flowing.  
Birth of new life long awaited.  
Earth's crippling thirst satiated.

All my life I've felt like an outsider,
never quite fitting in,
when would my life begin?

My soul on an endless journey,
constantly searching,
forever longing.

Till I noticed you
from across the room,
my life finally begun
when I found The One.

My heart found a home in you,
my soul stopped racing, finally at rest.
Now you've turned your back on our love,
my world crashing down since the second you left.

But I'm not moving on now that I've found you.
My soul back to its longing and missing, no longer searching.
just a little lost, just a little broken.
I will wait forever for your arms to re-open.

Catch me, I'm falling.
No ground for my feet.
This sinking feeling,
my pounding heartbeat.

Blinded and anxious.
Colors being swallowed.
Blackness takes over,
my soul, hollowed.

Sudden warmth, a kind
single teardrop trickling
down, gently caressing
my cheek, tickling.

Awaken to the relief of
having broken from this snare.
Allowing the sobs to pull
me from this nightmare.

Sadness throbbing,
clenching my heart.
Tugging.
Pulling.
Aching.
Hurting.

Tears start flowing.
Heartache worstening.
Struggling breathing.
Sobbing.
Aching.
Crying.

As you stand here alone
The winding road stretched before you
Say goodbye to your cozy home
Start the journey that will define you
Feel the excitement well up inside you
So much to experience, to take in
Come play, come learn,
The entire world as your teacher
Absorb that for which you yearn.

Each destination
Welcomes you with open arms and loving care
Friendships to be created and mended
Take the leap if you dare
The exhilaration that you share
This is your adventure, your journey
Experience the adrenaline rush
The exhaustion, confusion, laughter
The heartbeat of your first crush.

Explore the history
The cultures and languages that surround you
Unveil the lurking mystery
Of myths and country laws that govern you
The boundaries of independence and freedom too
Go ahead, make mistakes
You have to learn from those
Situations that bring you to your knees, to be humble
It directs you to the road you initially chose.

Then a second road appears
You become aware of a shared purpose
The merger of your hopes, your goals, your fears
Another meaning to life, a new compass.
Buy your ticket, enter the circus
Clowns and acrobats
Animals and trainers, the show’s a blast
Learn to juggle, to prioritize
Create memories of your present and past

Stop............ steal a quiet moment
Pull out that old, wrinkled map.
Look back at the road you have traveled
Gather your belongings, pack your bag
Take some time to recover from the jet lag
Close your eyes
No more time to lend
Rest in piece
This journey has finally come to an end.

I am not the object of your affection,
when you show that affection only in
the presence of others. Or that affection
is never shown, but are merely empty
words spoken out of a societal-induced
sense of "obligation".

I am not your most prized centerpiece
that you can place in a room to invoke
the ooh's and aah's that make you the
envy of strangers. And
afterward, I'm placed in a corner till
the next time I'm required.

I am not your "main attraction"
put on display. I don't dance nor
entertain so you can bathe in the  
attention of the people who, once
this is all over, won't even
remember your name.

I am not an object!

Tranquility and peace. The absolute essence of
nature captured through a lens. An extension of the
eye, the capture of a moment in time, lost
forever, yet not at all. You not only
catch that moment in an eternal image, but you
somehow capture the emotions, for whenever you
look at that picture, you will remember
exactly what you thought and felt at that
exact moment. It's as if you have etched
yourself in that moment. A true
photographer not only captures a picture
for the world to see, but through his
photographs stir up emotions within the
viewer, making it a timeless and cherished
gift. For a true artist captures not only
an image, but a fraction of history.

I don't want to close my eyes my love
for when I do I see your soul
illuminated by the sun
transparent, open and loving.
My last memory of you before
you walked out of my life,
before you put up your walls again,
before you shut the door.

I don't want to close my eyes my love
for when I do I see your love
and I feel every emotion I felt
on that perfect day.
Every way you made me feel free
before you forced my heart
to be locked away in this cage.

I don't want to close my eyes my love
for when I do I see you in front of me
so vivid, so real that I reach out
to hold you in my arms again,
to tell you I love you,
but then you disappear
the way you've disappeared from my
life so suddenly.

Closing my eyes used to lift me up into dreams of our future.
Now it crushes me on the cold floor of reality.

I can’t control the drum, my heart
Whenever you are near.
And when you feel that drum, my heart
You whisper in my ear.

Is not for me your drum, my heart
Beats so much of fear?
‘Tis not of fear it beats, my heart
But loving you so dear.

From the prelude it had
my undivided attention.
Cup of coffee in hand
I commenced reading
the tale: "My Life"

The intriguing twists,
the plausable comebacks.
"I" seem to simply bounce back
no matter the size of the
curveball life has in store.

Filled with mystery, drama,
action, comedy and romance,
it's hard for any critic
to categorise, to pinpoint
a suitable genre.

I have barely just begun,
and am truly looking forward
to discovering the
adventures that are
yet to be documented.

And one day, this
manuscript will be published.
Unedited, of course, as
editing will cause it
to lose its impact.

The purpose of this life . . .

Locking away the childish
memories, denying from the
inner child you've grown.
And for shying away from
the laughter of children,
you have lost your own.

Empty and dreary, your
days have grown lonely.
All that is left is dispair.
No child within to
sustain you, to feed you.
Just a dark, dank lair.

How do I reach out to you
when you are unreachable.
How do I tell you it
will all be alright.

How do I touch your soul
when you are untouchable.
How do I catch you
when you fall from flight.

How do I carry you when
this situation is so unbearable.
How do I make you look at me
so our love can reignite.

How do I apologise
for standing by your side.
How do I make you understand
that your touch, your love, is my light!

Wrap your arms around my waist.
Pull me up close,  into you,
so close I can breathe you in,
lose myself in the scent of your skin.

Sway me softly, gently,.
Our bodies moving in rhythm
to the melody of life,  of love.
We're what dreams are made of.

Sitting here going out of my mind
where are you now, what are you doing
who are you thinking of, who are you missing?

Do you think of me when you kiss her?
Has she occupied my place in your heart yet,
Is she the one now sharing your bed?

I'm going crazy, my mind an endless maze,
my thoughts never ending, my heart never mending.
These ticking, blurring seconds turned to days,
my soul constantly pacing,  my heart never stops racing.

I miss you!
I need you!

I'm going crazy, my mind an endless maze,
my thoughts never ending, my heart never mending.
These ticking, blurring seconds turned to days,
my soul constantly pacing,  my heart never stops racing.

My mouth wants to taste yours, my arms want to hold you,
my eyes miss meeting yours, my heart needs your love too!

Sitting here going out of my mind . . .

Soothing smoothness of the lake's surface,
disturbed by one small touch,
sending ripples through the darkness.
Shimmering moonlight, hear my thoughts.

If one small touch of my fingertip
could disturb this vast expanse of water.
How much more a seemingly futile act
would impact on the life of another.

Silently the droplets fall,as I lie in my bed.
Instead of being fast asleep,
I lie here feeling dead.

But as the rain increases speed,
my cheeks are washed with tears.
The droplets get entwined somehow
to wash away my fears.

Softly, gently, the peaceful sleep,
makes its way to me.
I wake with newfound joy,
peace, love and . . . me

I'm slowly dying inside.
You've ripped your heart
from my being, and given
it to someone else.
Leaving me with this
big gaping emptiness,
So please .............

May I have my heart back?

I used to live every day,
breathing you in.
Now, I'm hoping that each
exhilation will somehow help
in letting you go..
But I'm aching and hurting
with futile longing,
and I know I'll never have
your heart again,
so please ...............

May I have my heart back?

Battered and bruised,
wearing the scars of
rejection...... I don't mind.
Before I die, please .......

May I have my heart back?

Take me away.
Lead me to a little house
on a hill, picket fence
enclosing the fresh lush garden.
Lead me to the front door.
Let's make this our home.

We'll lie in the meadows
during Sunday afternoon picnics.
Children's laughter chiming,
while I'm wrapped in your kisses,
embraced in your warmth.
Let's make this our home.

When the rain storms down
on the roof ahead, and
our frustrated words like
lightning darts around the room.
Open your arms and forgive me.
Let's make this our home.

You enter the center of my emotions -
the control room of my being.
Deleting the negativity left behind by life,
inserting this contented feeling.

My days of pain and crying are numbered,
as your shifting fingers dart,
closing the spaces left behind by anger
on the keyboard of my heart.

Greeted by a fiery sunset sky,
mirrored on the blood red sea.
Your lips lit this fire inside.
This desire is burning,
becoming harder to hide.
Emotions pouring like red wine,
aglow in the moonlight.
This dangerous tango.
Consumed by our passion.
Don't ever let go.

Misleading confusing thoughts
And ideas. Mixed emotions,
Muddled memories, scrambled
Colors turning to black
Nothing makes sense in this
Senseless whirlpool. Crying out!
A desperate attempt to escape
But it’s pulling and tugging
I'm slipping, i'm falling
I'm gone!

These broken hands
cupped around a
fragile light.
Keeping it safe
and protected from
this endless night.

Only in the depths
of their pain
and despair
does a sliver of light
escape through
the tear.

Months and months on end go by,
this endless thirst needs a release.
Swellling earth, throb, throb,
throbbing for that quenching wetness
withheld by teasing clouds.
Until at last with thunderous
intensity, moisture penetrates the
searing heat ........ the storm climaxes:
the desert sighs in satisfaction.

You brush past, I can feel your intense
sorrow, the hurt you bury deep inside.
You may have shut your heart from the
world, but you can't continue to hide.
I see you, I sense you, feel your desire
to break down and just be human again.
Yet you've convinced yourself that you're
better off shutting out the world till the end.
You may think you're unlovable, incapable
of ever feeling like you belong anywhere, alone. . .
I see you, I know you, more than you'll ever
understand, I am your longing soul.

Today I choose to cherish the warmth of the sun caressing my face . . .

I scream. A lonely crown surrounding me,
but no one hears my struggle
to break free, free from
missing you.

The drumbeats of my heart
sends a heartache, only I can feel
all because . . .
I’m missing you.

‘My lips two blushing pilgrims’,
but my blushing, it shows on
the outside, when I’m caught
missing you.

Parted for a brief moment,
and I get lightheaded with a
feeling of desire, and . . .
I’m missing you.

Sweaty palms and racing heart.
Is this really true love?
It must be when the whole time I realize:
I’m missing you!

You brush past, I can feel your intense
sorrow, the hurt you bury deep inside.
You may have shut your heart from
the world, but you can't continue to hide.
I see you, I sense you, feel your desire
to break down and just be human again.
Yet you've convinced yourself that you're
better off shutting out the world till the end.
You may think you're unlovable, incapable of
ever feeling like you belong anywhere, alone. . .
I see you, I know you, more than you'll
ever understand, I am your longing soul.

Her whitening light
Makes nights worth while.
Her glow comforts my soul.
And in that light
A teasing secret
No human can unfold.
In treasure chest she gently
Keeps, my every hope and dream.
And every night my secret lies
In softcast silver beam
She’s cast her light upon my life,
And shone away my tears.
Brought joy and love and peace such as
I’ve never known in years.
Tonight I yet discover
Her long-lived life to be
A quest to find a lover,
My soul mate fit to be.

I want to beat my fists against your chest
to make your heart feel
every aching beat my heart feels
when I see you with her.

I want to cut you down the middle
to make your body feel
every aching cut my body feels
when she calls you hers.

I want to shove your head underwater
to make your lungs feel
every aching gasp my lungs feel
when you kiss her lips.

I want to submerge you in a bath of ice
to make your soul feel
the aching chill my soul feels
at the sight of you holding her.

Most of all I want to let you go
to make my icy heart,
to make my aching soul
heal and become whole again.

You have to live your life with everything you are.
Because you cannot experience life with no emotions.
With all the friends in the the world, you can still be
hopelessly alone. How do they "analyse" other people
when they don't even know themselves? Would you
follow the advice of yet another lost soul?
You use your anti-depressants and "fix-me-up-ers" to
"feel good", to block out your senses, to numb
yourself, for what? To feel more human? You're
no human without your soul. You're merely killing
it. Would you all just stop what you are doing,
and realize your true potential!
Take off the blindfolds and see! Wake up, wake up
from the trance you're in! None of this matters!
We have been conditioned into a mediocre
existence, a materialistic life, a race.

You are so much more than this!

Make haste wind!
Carry my voice to my lover
so he may hear my sweet whisper
in times we spend apart.

Brush along his cheek wind,
and leave my lingering kisses.
Let him feel the warmth and
tenderness i hold deep inside.

Enfold him wind
as I would with my arms.
Let him smell my sweet scent
to still his longing heart.

Rustle through his hair wind,
as I would my fingertips.
Make him feel my presence
till I'm yet again at his side.

As unpersonal rain
floods my whole existence
and my eyes can not hold back:
I dwell upon myself to see
a whole new being in you.
A fatal image of us both
reminds me of a cold winter
and a mirage on a hot summer's day.
Caught in a flash of another
world where we became one.
And the noise is overwhelming.
it tears us apart, we are left
standing . . . .
and we are two vulnerable
people in an unknown world.

Why am I studying?
Why am I missing
so many precious hours
watching my children growing.
When obtaining a
degree won't get me
out of this **** hole
anyway?

Because burying me inside
the content of a book
takes my mind off my
unhappiness with what
I can't change about my life
The books never judge,
they don't give me lip.
They take me away.......

Secrets unfolding like a
blossoming rose in spring.
The fragility of it
catches your breath.
Too scared to touch
or bruise it,
the fear that you
might lose it,
Crushed
In the grip of death.

Hello black hole
please don't swallow.
Not ready to
keep you company
again.

I can feel you pulling
and tugging, sinking
your claws into
my unwilling flesh.

Depression and sadness
your new acquaintances.
You know you're not
playing fair now.

I'm holding on, barely
moving. Where could
I go to escape you?
Leave my heart alone,
take the rest.

Seated at my feet when I wake at 2a.m.
You faithfully keep watch over my soul.
Yet the unspoken words between us
Haunt my thoughts by day.  
There is so much I long to know.

I sense your ever-presence guarding
My every step, my thoughts, my heart.
Tortured by your silence, yet
Comforted by the knowledge that
I'm never alone.

White shining sunlight through my bedroom window,
The warmth tugging at the sheets,
Turning to greet the morning, I'm aware of your shadow,
Your body, your lips, a good morning kiss.

Your manly scent enfolds me, your hot breath in my ear,
Safely tucked against your heaving chest,
Birdsong pulls us from our dreaming, hear
your soft sigh, your rough chin on my hair ......... bliss.

Breathe in...... inhale the love of your loved ones, the sorrow and the loss, the laughter and the joy, the anger and the hurt, the silence..................

Laugh, laugh out loud............ laugh at the mime, at someone else’s expense, at someone else’s sorrow...................

Cry, cry your heart out........... at the violence and the crime, the hurt, the joy, at the loss you feel for selling your soul, cry out for forgiveness....................

Breathe out......... exhale, let go of your old life, your negativity, judgement, your self-righteous ego, the mess you’ve become..........

Then........... breathe in the LOVE.

Pause .......... sit down ........... observe:
The rat race - cars and people zooming
past, hurry hurry. Time is ticking, time is
money, faster, harder, scurry, scurry.  

Breathe .......... smile ............ observe:
A futile existence - rushing up and down,
meet deadlines. Hours running on caffeine
toward success, make headlines!  

Lie down ........... eyes closed .......... think:
Who? How? Where? What? What Time? How many?
Three .... two? How to get there? What to take with?
Stop! ............... Who are you?

How did you manage to open up my closed-up heart? Did you not notice the big bold red "SOLD" sign bolstered to the door?

Or did you perhaps slip in through one of the windows?

And why did you simply ignore the contents thereof? Did fate lead you to the empty little room at the back? Away from the clutter and noise that my life has stored?

That is my favourite room, you know. My little "getaway". Little did I know that on that day "getting away" meant running straight into your arms.

I resisted at first, of course . . The familiarity of the room was replaced by your presence. . . by the unexpected familiarity of you . . .

And day by day I would return to that haven, and still, you were there, waiting.. until you became such a part of my daily routine that I stopped resisting and started looking forward to my stolen moments of "solitude".

I can hardly remember the days without you in it . . and that room would seem awfully empty and lonely without you.

Please stay!

As the promise of a new
day awakes me, and the
sounds of a longforgotten
note fills my head,
I remember:

We were strangers, not
knowing what lay ahead.
Our love made us blind.
We had painful memories
and hurting dreams. But
the note in my head fills the
hole in my heart your
passing left.

And I rise with the
promise of a new day.

Autumn a-dancing to
          the beat of falling leaves,
                   interrupted by Winter -
                             the air growing colder.

                                                      Au­tumn shook the trees in
                                                              ­ an attempt to keep Winter at bay
                                                             ­            but Winter just shrugged and
                                                             ­                        gave her the cold shoulder.

Pause .......... sit down ........... observe:
The rate race - cars and people
zooming past, hurry hurry.
Time is ticking, time is money,
faster, harder, scurry, scurry.

Breathe .......... smile ............ observe:
A futile existence - rushing
up and down, meet deadlines.
Hours running on caffeine
toward success, make headlines!

Lie down ........... eyes closed .......... think:
Who? How? Where? What?
What Time? How many? Three .... two?
How to get there? What to take with?
Stop! ............... Who are you?

Always turn your face to the sun
as the clouds roll in like thunder.
Feel its rays on your skin,
rising courage from within,
That no man can put asunder.

Always turn your face to the sun
as it simmers over the horizon,    
Feel its rays on your skin,
broiling hope from within,
standing tall in the arms of Orion.