Once again we've shut each other out
After letting each other back in

Playing tag with our emotions
First to express their longing loses

4 months of this game
We add more pieces
We add more people
They don't know they're in our game
We avoid them when together

You chose a piece over a player
You ruined the game

Game over

Too late
to try again
time has done it's work
distanced our old selves from who we are now

Somewhere we're still together, in a different dimension I like to think

We admitted that there will always be something
I hope I'm that girl you look back on and regret- regret letting me slip through your fingertips

We say maybe ten years from now we will bump into eachother
and start over

I like to believe so
You believe in that thought so strongly
that time will fix things, it will make us right for each other once again

I think... You gave up on me
And you will do it again

Ten years from now I hope to bump into you
And you'll see that you let me go, you'll see that you should've fought
Because I don't think I could take you back

I have spread myself upon you,
And I want the parts of me I have released to come back
To make me feel whole

They say some people just click
But how do we unclick?

Do we grow so big, we break the interlocked piece that's connected to us?
Or do we shrink and let that piece go and click with another?

Why don't we just stay interlocked, unwavering and fastened together?

I used to fall so deeply into those eyes
I'd get lost and I didn't mind
We connected, and there was nothing that could've come between us
From the first time we gazed into each others eyes
We knew. We had something special

Those eyes made me crumble
From the first time you said hello
to when you said goodbye

Those eyes, I gazed into them last night
And I felt a pang of nostalgia
And I felt the muted emotions that weren't allowed to be stated
We knew, there will always be something there
Those eyes gaze upon another, as do mine

But my eyes, they belong to you
Yours belong to me

You always have a home in me

The boards under my feet are cold, familiar
I reminisce about this time last year
Happiness, something new
You

The boards under my feet are still the same
I am completely different
I put so much love into the person that took it all away
Yet I still love

The thought of you wrapped up in your brain, in your bed with someone else is awful to me
This time last year that was me

She feels right to you, as did I
But she doesn't know you
She does not seem to love as I do

But you're not worth it
I can do better
you said it yourself

I walk away from the cold floorboards

i fell again, the same wounds
they opened up.
took pieces of me away
took me away
took away my mask,
the happiness everyone was used to  
the smile faded

my body is a vessel that can't handle my emotions no longer
they spill out of me
my eyes- tears fall
my fingertips- i hold on too strong or not at all
my lips- chapped
my hugs- full of something.. longing
my emotions are showing in everything i do
i can't stop

i am exposed
i am raw to the bone

every feeling that touches me makes me fall
every comforting word makes me doubt
every hand to hold lets go

no one to turn to
no one understands
no ones comfort is enough anymore

even when i reach out
even when i try to get help
there's always something else
sorry i can't talk to you right now, i'm high as ****

the people i thought i could rely on, i can't
the people i love, don't get it
the people that have been there from the start- everybody's too consumed in their own lives
who am i to disturb them?

all i feel is pain
all i feel is the ghostly lips of the past on my forehead
..telling me to let go
all i feel is negativity

i'm too far gone
too far in
too late

sleep doesn't heal me anymore
drugs are no good

everything good that has been in my life
the good i've built for myself
has been spread upon the skin of others
has been left in the places i can no longer go
the places that hold my secrets
the places i left my feelings with

i'm emotionally raw
vulnerable
and i just want to be relieved

i've been strong
i'm tired of fighting

When I was with you
I couldn't speak
I couldn't open up

When you left, I learned
I learnt how to share
I learnt how to speak
I learnt how to express myself

It's what I thought would keep you around,
It would make you stay
Unfortunately it wasn't

But yet I'm still here expressing myself and I wonder why some people have such a hard time doing so

You see
I applaud you, you stayed with me that long
Even with my inability to communicate my feelings, my desires, everything.
You we're everything to me

I fell for you,
I fell into you
I got stuck and you left me

-

Here I am now
I'm with another boy
I adore him, I do
But he can't communicate

As much as I want him to speak
he won't, he can't
He's not good at it

I'm just learning how to open up, and it's hard
I don't know how to coax him out
I don't know if he's worth the trouble
I wasn't worth the trouble, even when I did learn
there's always someone better

I don't know what to do
I feel helpless
I don't need this,
I've found myself a new home, in my insecurities

But I understand, I do
And I don't give up
It's not what I'm good at

I fight and I make it through
You will too
Please fight
Don't leave