Imagine.
Deadbeat father and one outstanding daughter.
What if he won't show up today she says.
What if nobody cheers me on like the rest of the families she says.
      Terrified of not being good enough,
       Because the only person she cared about truly was her father.
Sickened of being let down.
A man who took the place of the father figure was an uncle.
      Strong-intelligent-prepared
Her name gets called for her outstanding award.
And strongly stands up on the stage that day.
     Unaware and nervous in the legs
     Looking down at her tied shoes
     Taking in all the details of something so simple
     Her father isn't there.
Surprised to look up at the audience.
The father figured man stands up and claps his hands.
A smile creeps up on her face.
To see the man so proud and happy with tears in his eyes.
She know knows there's nothing to fear with him by her side.

My heart wants to pull you in,
Feeling the bliss of knowing what your beautiful mind holds within.
My thoughts are putting together piece by piece what you are feeling or thinking inside.
Hoping that this will be something new and bright
What a beautiful beautiful mind.
My heart wants to pull you in,
But you see I have troubles within my mind.
The cruel monster that fills me up so very deep inside.
Making me think of everything that can go wrong if I just open up and show you what is inside.
My heart wants to pull you in,
The cruel monster anxiety pulls me deeper in.
Maybe he won't think your pretty it says.
Maybe he sees something better it says.
Maybe he will see all the flaws that you see.
Pause.
How can I let somebody in,
When the monster inside of me is crawling at the floor of my head to get out?
My heart wants to pull you in,
But my mind tells me to push you away.

Love isn't always
       sun filled and bright lights.
Love isn't always
        no pain and no fights.
Love isn't always
        clear mind and showing.
Love isn't always
        about knowing.

She was born unaware of what life was or what life held,
You see her father taught her a lot when she was younger,
He used to hold her hand and walk her to the bakery.
Sometimes when they’d go he’d make her wait outside,
Or sometimes he’d walk into the bakery with her following right behind him in his footsteps.
Only the bakery wasn’t a place that made bread,
It was a place that used baking soda as they’re well known recipe.
This special bakery that the customers came in to every day,
Itching for this special recipe ripping themselves apart slowly and surely to get it.
Following her father in and out of bakery’s,
Seeing firsthand what makes these bakery’s so special.
The recipes from these bakery’s were all the same,
But little did she known the recipe was crack *******.
She got a little older when she started seeing her father on the weekends,
She was about five when her father stopped holding her hand to walk to these bakery’s.
But now her father was the baker and the house she stayed at was the bakery.
All the new people she met,
All coming and leaving with the same thing that they all craved.
Her cousin started staying over every once and awhile with her,
This started to get fun with all the excited people around.
Her father’s mother knew a lot about baking,
Because she was a loyal customer for years.
Customers started coming over more and more.
She wasn’t even six years old when the man approached her,
Moving slowly towards her untouched body.
She felt his fingers move in places nobody has touched before,
She tried to move him away and cover the revealing places his hands were at.
He wouldn’t stop no matter what she tried,
The one thing they never told you,
Was that the addicts daughter was molested that day,
At the unaware and now ashamed age of five.