I should let you know instead i'll let you go.

I think i'll miss the sunsets that i'll leave behind,
But i won't miss the fighting or the tears i couldn't cry.

I think I'll miss the road trips and the laughter late at night,
But i won't miss pain from the love i'll never find.

I think i'll miss the singing and the last minute coffee,
But i won't miss the loathing or feeling out of place.

I think i'll miss the way the sun shined even when it blinded mine eye
But i won't miss the words my father battered into me like a baker burning bread.

I think i'll miss stepping into character and the way it felt to be someone else
But i won't miss the complete collapse at the removal of the mask.

I miss the flowers,
I'll miss the life i had planned,
But i won't miss trying to o.d. unsuccessfully or reaching out for help only to not be taken seriously.

See i was just the kind of girl who lived in box, sticking out, pull me up, leave me to rot.

See i was just the kind of girl who lived in coma, only to be waken when you need a donor.

To spill my heart to your charity selflessly, only wanting in return your company, but when i needed them, they just pulled a runner, they thought they only needed me, but i need them too. But i only existed when they needed me to listen cause their was no one there but me.

I think i'd miss a lot though i don't want to live much i'll just live through you and maybe that will be enough.

I'll miss you cause i needed you too. I love you. <3

Dear forest leaves ,                                             Do you tell your trees
your "I love you's" before
you drop from the branch ?
Do you tell them "I'll miss
you" before you fall silently
to the ground. Do you ever
look back before touching
gentle earth's damp soil.
Do you make love to the tree
before you wonder off wild
and free dancing on the forest
floor as the winds move you
from the right to the left ?
Do you forest leaves ? If yes ,
then tell me your story
passionately* ~

The day we met I thought that I was flying, but... in reality I started dying. You took a knife, twisted it in my chest, every glance since brings me closer to death.

The girl with the tearless eyes,
The girl that cannot cry,
The girl thats always
"Good",
Always
"fine"

And you assume she is because
She's not crying
She's just smiling
So she's fine, right?

But she's putting on a face,
Putting on a mask,
Covering the truth,
Covering the past.

She'll cancel plans last minitue only to assure you she's fine just got caught up in some family ties.

But she's got trust issues deeper than the cuts she tries to hide.
More painful than the lies
And trying to pretend everythings fine.

And the names YOU called her?
Still echoeing in her brain,
Still imprinting,
Still remaining.

But she still tries to fake a smile,
Lay low for a little while,
Walk at a normal pace,
Keep it together!

The lie that you're living is bringing disgrace!
You are a disgrace, everything you are is built around it.

Till she can't even remember the lies from reality,
Did i smile?
Did i laugh?
Or am i still pretending?

She asks herself
As she laughs at the reflection in front of herself.
Will i ever be happy?
She asks head bowed down low in front of herself.

She's not okay,
She's always a lie.

Trying to fix her broken soul,
But the ghosts of the past still haunt her.

They torture her
*******
             *******
                           *******
The life out of her
And the happiness
And the hope
It's like the dementors are coming out into the night.

And she's not fine
But she can't cry
For the tears that once flowed put like niagra falls,
Have dried up like the sahara desert.

And her head is still pounding
As she tries to get some sleep
Still stuck poundering on the everyday life she dreads
Still poundering
                            Searching
                ­                            Searching
For her silver saviour,
Hoping to relief the pain she's been feeling in a river of red.

But she puts on a mask and fakes
a smile,
a laugh.

And you assume she's fine,
But she's soulessly screaming
Help me.
              Help me.
                             Help

and i guess i'm just asking,
if all the things you said to yourself, appeared on your body,
would you still be beautiful?

this depression
grips me like the rope thats soon to **** me
it's visible in my blank ****** expression
nothing is going to cure me
no one with a title, forget your medical profession
I believe its passed down genetically, chronological succession
but I don’t have my elders' strength, I’m choosing secession
leaving this place
but don’t call it regression,
because I own sole possession
of the knowledge that this life never gets better,
now do you understand? reading comprehension?
I became a master at hiding these feelings, skillful repression
and no I was never happy, there's my confession
how's that for a first impression?
in a world filled with prejudicial oppression and money hungry obsession
we’re G-d's material possession
unfortunately all the others will look on, intentional indiscretion
so yes, blame yourself, and discuss all the things you could've changed at my funeral *procession