Ink smeared pages where I tried to write out how much I painfully loved you
But the words are impossible to read through tear stains

Walls crumbling from all the times you just couldn't take it and said you wished it was me
But I could still feel every hit as your chaos ran through my veins

Screaming over the sounds of your hopeless expressions
Because your eyes always said too much
And I know the end is close to my fingertips

Vacant spaces between my fingers where your hands used to be
And my chest feels hollow without the feel of your heartbeat
Now there's an emptiness in me aching for your company

I just wanted to know if you could feel me through the air you breathe
If there was an absence inside your chest from the moment we decided our hearts didn't fit like they used to

Do you scream yourself awake at night because the sudden urge of falling reminds you of the day we met
And you knew from that moment that your entire world was about to come crashing down
But it didn't matter because we were going to create something so marvelous even God would envy us

It's funny how we thought nothing could stop us
But fate wanted us to fall in love just to sit back and tear us apart for nothing more than a good laugh
And we were too broken to try and pick up the pieces because it didn't seem worth it to get our hands *****

Now we wonder how it ever felt so right to be entangled in each other's hearts
When trying to break free felt like standing over the edge and asking yourself if it would really hurt to die
Because we knew letting go meant cutting off the part of us that meant the most
But love is a gamble and we were too afraid to lose so much again

Goodbye tastes like whiskey on a cold, lonely night
And my hands search the air for any sign of your love
But my heart is frostbitten from the cold shoulder you've been giving me

I try to tell myself that this is all just a bad dream
But my words won't register in my brain
Because my body is trying to tell me how badly it misses your touch

Sometimes I hold my breath and try to imagine what it feels like to be dead
But there's no use in pretending when my insides have been rotting since you said I would never be the one
And that phrase has danced around my thoughts every single day until I carved it into every inch of who I am
Because you were everything to me
And I've never felt more worthless than the ground you walked on until I saw how genuine your smile was with someone else

I loved you with a slow pulse and aching heart beat

I loved you with broken lungs and sharp breaths

I loved you with bleeding knuckles and burning tears

I loved you with empty words and trembling lips

I loved you with hopeless thoughts and too much ambition

I loved you with open arms and a hollow chest

I loved you with a million promises and screaming vanities

I loved you with caring hands and broken bones

I loved you with a bitter tongue and starry eyes

I loved you with open scars and the thought of forever

I loved you with fear and never giving up

Trying to forget you is like trying to find my way out of a maze that keeps changing

Trying not to love you is like ripping out my heart and pretending it doesn't hurt

Trying to move on is like forcing myself to believe I never cared in the first place

Trying not to fall apart is like trying to ignore everyone of your words as they tear through my skin every time I try to breathe

I hope you get to feel what it's like to have a life and not be numbered by days where you can only hope to make it through
Because I can't imagine a life without your heartbeat
And I swear to God if you die I'll never feel alive again

Just the thought of not being able to hold you makes me want to *****
Because loving you is the only thing I know how to do
And I can't bare to say I love you to a ghost

I know it might be asking for a lot
But my knees are caked with blood from my constant begging
And I just need you to stay with me a little longer
Because a day without you would feel like a day without breathing
And my throat is raw from screaming out your name too much

So please don't leave me