When I was finally able to say
Goodbye
I felt not the need to move my lips or
Move myself to
Utter the words..

Whether or not you are there
I feel not the need to check.
The last I saw,
You lifted your barriers
And that is all I need to know.

You are you
And in the time it took to realise
The permanent distance between us
"Goodbye"
And I would never see you again.

Butterflies in stomach about to fly

As they escape and greet the sky

years lived inside,

made thousand laughs and cries

oh God is it now the real goodbye?

yesterday I found a silly word said

no matter it's your first or the second rain

waiting a rainbow come will drive you bored

so let's dance in the storm, O gloomy soul


140717|22.37
Esf.

If truest sleep shall take my love aloft
as brittle fate appears to favor course
to yonder past the murk - as journeyed oft
and I as sullen, cause to bide remorse?

Assure that I embraced with amber glow
aspired her peach as sunlight would the shore
enhanced by myths alike; bestowed by bow
tho' wistful I - as could in depth been more?

Did roses blush while shades of mine had part,
did timbre sweeten less from out my tune.
Tho' I exalted - with a song in heart!
A lover's ballad praising us in boon.

Ah, know that each an' love I've given true!
For none alive so loved, nor can renew.

Silence grew upon me.
Don't want to feel.
Don't want to express.
But most of all didn't want to write.

The one thing that keeps me sane.
That helps me let go or experience the feel of emotions.
But now the emotions are too much for me wanting to feel.
Irritated when one tries to speak with me.
Annoyed that I am feeling this way.

Silence is all I want.
To be alone.
To not associate with another.
To just be me.
Be on my own world.
Suppress the emotions that comes towards my way.

Writing seems to not help me like before.
The thoughts are jumble.
The feels are irritating.
The emotions is just full of crap.

How do I manage to escape this?
How do I manage to move on from this?
How do I manage to accept this?
Because I never asked to feel this way
And silence is what feels the best at this.

If I ever want to know myself.
I just look into the mirror.

It reveals just who I am?

It the one thing that never let me down.

It tells me the truth.
It won't lie.
Even if I seek something not to recognize.

If I'm living behind this myth of myself.
The mirror will soon make me accept myself.

From the changing of my face.
From the changing of my weight.
Or the fading of my hair.
Or maybe a touch of gray.

The mirror is truth honestly speaking to me.