I tried to get all my love from one person.
I tried to make him give me everything.
I wanted something that didn't exist.
A clone of me: to go where I go,
And do what I do, and agree with what I say.
That doesn't exist.
I wanted him to be my answer to eveything.
No, it couldn't be.
I realized this was foolish.
One person can't do that.
There's a reason there is so many of us:
To play different parts.
Not be the same.
So I realized, I had to get certain things from others
And not him
And this was not a betrayal
Or a battle
This was letting go of what wasn't real.
What isn't real.
Finding others to love me the way he can't,
Just as he finds others to love him
The way I cant.
I am not invincible or all-knowing,
Though I like to think I'm close.
This lesson is just one more reason
To call me little
Oh how much more is hiding in the slits of my brain
I'd love to see, though it's painful
Knowing the truth
Knowing things you thought you loved
Don't even exist
The things you wanted
That you'll never have
But in hopes of gaining something in return I guess
Maybe not as full or tasteful
But it's something
And it's healthy, because it is a balance
So you learn to live with it
And let go
And enjoy the freedom of it
Because you were trapped before
And confused, certainly
Not anymore
You know the right from the wrong
And it's only a matter of execution at this point
A great start
A great beginning
Hello love
Hello world
an EXTREMELY rough draft