You abuse the abuser
Who's abused you for years
But no one
Ever sees
The years of abuse
You tolerated
Because everyone sees
That you've abused
The abuser who's turned
Into the abused

I look at the time and my heart beats faster,
tonight i do something that i don't want to do.
I've dreamed for years of a happy ever after;
my firsts and lasts planned in complexities.
tonight i lose my first to a stage,
where i wouldn't first with him but my character will.
I must pretend to be her, the girl who rides in Grease Lightning with the all famous T-Bird.
Tonight i lose my first to a stage,
and i wish it was another

fire.
water.
a burning Forrest.
a drowning ship.
Forward to time past,
the fury roars in you.
you love her but do you?
you moved on but have you?

a sketchy situation.
a hot mess.
I stand in the ashes
from 2 years of time.
2 can play at that game.
maroon is linked to anger.
like the burning room.

blocked.
shut out.
how am i supposed to be aggravated if i cannot see?
i have questions,
set in stone.
pieces.
honestly.

am i the monster in your words?
the ghost that haunts?
when you look at her do you see me?
does it stab like a thousand knives?
a thousand bees stinging?

a girl.
drowning.
i have left the chat.
closed the door and locked it all away.
moved out.
my shadow still lingers.

do you?
hesitate.
blink twice.
remember.
call me an unreliable source
so i am the monster,
lurking your every move.
hug her and think of me.
for i am forever your monster under the bed.

why is screenshotting everything you do obsessive?
i'm keeping tabs.
checking up.
watch how much of an idiot you're being with her
and keeping the evidence.
I'm most certainly not jealous.
I just like to giggle

1 hour
Had passed and all I felt was pain.
The realisation had not yet removed the stain.

1 day
Had passed and I felt free.
Nothing could stop me from being me.

1 week
Had passed and you tried getting me back.
The slashes, cuts, and words could never draw me back.

1 month
Had passed and I felt more pain.
The scars you left were never going away.

1 year
Had passed and I could never forget
The day I told you the end.

Almost 2 years
Have passed and now I think
Maybe you moved on and I'm still wearing pink.