I am the decider of what it will be.
I have observed what was done*
behind me.
In the shadows..that you didn't think
I'd see.
Everyone had known about it but me.
How could that be?
For the it was about me.
If this is how you treat a friend...
who needs an enemy?


-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016

And in a weird way
I owe you a thank you
Because in all the misery you caused
I found myself

I listed
Out loud
All the things I loved about you

And in return
All I got was your silence

I guess at the end of the day
What I really wanted
Was to be enough for someone
For a person to look at me and think
"Her? I couldn't live without her. If not for her; none of it would mean anything"

I guess I just wanted someone to love me
The way that I had loved them

No
It wasn't a boy
Or the envy of others
Or even the experience of success over failure

It was me
Alone
Next to the ocean
Completely undone
And stripped dry to the bones
That's where I discovered
Peace truly exists

Everyone watched her
Unable to take their eyes off the view
And the terrifying thing about her
Was that she knew
*And she didn't care

Isn't it funny
How much we can love the wrong person
As if they were the right one all the while