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There’s I place I go to
When you cross my mind
It’s almost as if your still there
By my side
Whispering in my ear
Caressing my palm

We called it the bridge to nowhere

I remember meeting you there
Sitting near the end
Staring out towards the water
You approaching me

I remember looking up
At your perfect tanned face
Your messy dark hair
Your mesmerizing gold eyes
Casually wearing your football jersey.

I remember your simple hello
Your nervous chuckle
Your silly smile.

I remember smiling back
And inviting you to sit.

Our first meeting on the bridge to nowhere

I remember sneaking out after dark
To meet you there
Just to lay on the bare wooden boards
Staring at the moon

I remember the smell of flowers that spring
branches blooming nearby
The smell of smoke and spices
Forever embedded in your clothes.

I remember your singing
Sweet nothings
in Spanish
Softly in my ear

Entwined together on the bridge to nowhere

I remember your high school graduation
Your mother so proud
Your sister excited
Your father crying

I remember your first game in college
Your running onto the field
Pride and joy in your eyes
Though you didn’t play
Because of that sprained wrist

I remember your sweaty embrace
And your ramblings
of the game
Reviewing every play
Your eyes shimmering with excitement

Racing to the bridge to nowhere

I remember that call
Which changed my life
My heart stopped
I couldn’t think

I remember rushing
to the hospital
Crying with your little sister
Collapsed on the floor

I remember your bloodied face
Wrapped in linen
Tubes bursting from your chest

I wanted to race to the bridge to nowhere

I remember spending my nights
Curled by your side
Willing you to stay
Strong

I remember that endless tone
That said you were gone

I cried at the bridge to nowhere

I remember curling up in your hoodie
Smelling you
Pretending it was you
Your arms surrounding me

I remember lying by the stone
That recalled your name
Talking to you
Burning letters by the small candle

I remember cleaning out your room
With your mother and sister
Finding that little box by your bed
Your final gift to me

I opened it at the bridge to nowhere

I still go there sometimes
With a letter filled
With promises to you
And a flame by which to send it.
Always saying I love you, baby.
But they’ve only been together a day.
Captivated by the way the
Darkness of each other’s pupils grow
Every time they touch.
Forcing the kind of relationships, but more of the
Groping, that they saw in the movies.
Heated make out sessions in the church youth room, with
Intensity that could make strippers blush.
Juxtaposing every inch of their bodies.
Knowing what to do only because of what they
Learned in health class. Trying to
Master the art of *** and what they call love,
Not caring who knows. Living off each
Other’s breaths. Fabricating
Plans and stories for their parents when they’re caught
Quietly sneaking back into their
Rooms at four in the morning,
Shutting their doors and their eyelids,
Tracing remnant goose bumps.
Until the sun shines into their windows,
Violating their dreams of Cinderella and Prince Charming,
Washing the night from their skin, and shoving their
******* memories to the back and hiding them in a drawer.
Yearning to be touched again, by whom ever the next
Zephyr can blow into their neighborhood.
 Dec 2012 Andrea Lopez
Natalie B
I stay up hours on end,
Just thinking.
They ask, about what?
They all ask
How are you?
How was your day?
Expecting the truth.
Yet every day
My response
Is the same.

I'm good, I say.
I'm alright, I say.
Will it ever change?
The ongoing lie?
Will I ever fit the image,
That everyone has of me?
That charming girl with the smiling face?

Darling,
I'm a liar.
I guess I've gotten pretty good.
Will I ever act the way I feel?
I wonder if I ever should.
 Dec 2012 Andrea Lopez
Day
I want cheesey garlic bread!
alas, it's all that's in my head-
and if lactose I could tolerate,
this might not be such a debate.

though I'm sure my body could conform,
but it's taken this long to reform!
from the **** and mucus that is dairy,
that will surely turn your knuckles hairy.

I'll eat a piece of gluten toast,
for it only makes my tummy bloat,
but from cheese I must stay far away,
unless I want my **** to spray.

it's a sign, I think, that my body rejects
such a harmful product, my body protects
but god ****** I want garlic bread,
the cheesey kind, it's in my head...
If I was a mermaid, would you be my sea?
Salty and warm and cradling me
Across your reefs of beauty and wonder
Within your mystery I would discover
Life in your waves in your sands in your eyes
Loving you always despite the lie
That for forever you'd be my sea
Salty and warm and cradling me
I hide under the covers,
trying to control my breath,
I know you hear me,
but you allow me this moments
panic,
this moment it's thoughts,
you allow me this moment,
and I can't help but remember,
that,

you give me the choice,
you allow me the decision,
you give me your beating heart,
and say do what you will,

and I do what I will,
because I can't decide what to do when I am standing over the edge of a canyon,
and all I want to do is fly,

you allow me this moment,
to see everything we are,
and everything we are not,

and underneath these covers,
it is warm,
but I feel the cold air find me as,

the tenor of the room changes,
and I'm so afraid I won't be,
enough,
that the experiences that litter your past,
will call you their lover again,

I'm so afraid of losing you,
I'm pushing you out the door,

And I meet your eyes one last time,
and their is ocean in turmoil
and I am the one who churned the waters,
but I know someone's calling your name in the distance,
even though they might never call mine.
Letting someone go can be one of the hardest things sometimes.
notice the convulsed orange inch of moon
perching on this silver minute of evening.

We’ll choose the way to the forest—no offense
to you,white town whose spires softly dare.
Will take the houseless wisping rune
of road lazily carved on sharpening air.

Fields lying miraculous in violent silence

fill with microscopic whithering
…(that’s the Black People, chérie,
who live under stones.) Don’t be afraid

and we will pass the simple ugliness
of exact tombs,where a large road crosses
and all the people are minutely dead.

Then you will slowly kiss me
 Dec 2012 Andrea Lopez
mads
Did I forget to mention
How adorable you are
When you're intoxicated?

Or was the sarcasm not thick enough?

And do you forget
When "I dont wanna be dr-drunk anymore"
Dribbled from your mouth?

You stink.
Go home.
people don’t mean
they exist
in relation to others
relationships don’t mean
they do not exist
only we exist
in relation to others

if i kiss you right now, it does not mean anything. i don’t mean anything, and neither do you. we are simply touching, touching at the lips, though it might as well be our elbows or knees or ankle bones. and if that contact feels right, it does not mean. we are simply two people touching, and it is right. why shouldn’t it be that way?

i do not mean
i only exist
and that can be right
i can be right
simply because i exist

i don’t need to be apologetic for who i am. i can be right, and my rightness does not change your rightness. if i kiss you right now and it is right and i am right and you are right then we both exist. in relation to one another. simply touching, touching. and it doesn’t have to mean anything.

— The End —