When it comes to boys
I’m always attracted to
Rare smiles, brighter than the fluorescent lighting of a hospital
Painful.
I’m drawn to boys who will
Love me intensely, rubbing alcohol into my wounds
And leaving me bare
And clean,
And stinging.

When it comes to boys,
I trust too easy
Time after time they break it and
I still leave my young heart in their calloused hands,
I still sign the consent form
And watch the scalpel split my chest
I let them take and take and take
Until there’s no more blood left to give.

When it comes to boys,
I let them observe me
Plastic crinkling as their fingers move
Against my cold skin,
I let them touch me
Because I want to be touched
But maybe not by them.

When it comes to boys
I spill my guts,
To please them
And every ******* time,
They let their veins bulge from their
Slender arms,
Teasing me with the idea
That they would let me pull out
Each strand,
They never let me.
They steal each *****, each breath
And they never give me a single vessel.

Every boy I’ve ever kissed,
Has bit into me
As if I am theirs to devour
They swallow me whole,
And when it comes to boys
I am so Gullible
“It says I love you on the ceiling”
And I look up
When it comes to boys
I believe them,
Even when the lie detector
Drowns out every note
Of the songs I’ve written for them

The songs I’ve written for them,
Tear my fingers open
With every unheard strum
And still

When it comes to boys
I forgive them
Even when they
Unplug my life support
And watch me as I flatline.l