I don’t fall in love with people
I fall into routine with them

Your arms hugging me warm in the mornings
Became the warm streaks of sun during a sunrise
Your morning breath, sleepy-eyed kisses
Became my mandatory taste of coffee first thing
You voice saying, “Have a great day at work.”
Became my new favourite radio station
A song stuck in my head

My notebook was replaced by your ears
My confidence was replaced by your words
My self-worth was replaced by your hands

And then
You left
And now

I wake up cold
My coffee is bitter
I started writing again
Every radio station is static

I didn’t fall in love with you
You became my routine

my happiness comes in waves
nothing, and then all at once

but even in the happiness moments
when I'm at a coffee shop
when I'm getting drunk with friends
when I'm sleeping peacefully
you cross my mind
you disrupt my dreams

will it be this way forever?
is closure an unreasonable desire?
maybe our love
wasn't meant to have an ending
wasn't meant to have closure
our hearts were simply meant to wander
aimlessly
in different countries

I am happy, please don't get me wrong
I met someone who is lovely
he loves me well and always tries
but remember our plans?
money ready to be recklessly spent
just to get one quick kiss
too much passion for kids so young

I hope you're doing well
I hope people are telling you
only kind words
only encouraging reminders
I wonder if you also feel a piece of your heart missing?
if you do, please know it's safe
and warm in a treasure chest

along with old tickets and dead flower petals
they're still beautiful even though
they're completely dead
old song lyrics, old poems
all the precious reminders of you
I can't get rid of them
I don't know why

you're all I write about
it's an accident I swear
you took the most valuable part of me
my words
my thoughts
my love

my happiness comes in waves
nothing, and then all at once