homes built on gray space
balancing on lover’s grace
I retract and confine,
soothed by the mercy of time.
they have their marching orders
and their detached constraints.
the shattered stained glass ceilings
portray them all as saints.

I painted you in gold,
your crown was set in stone.
cracks collected in silence,
crumbling once alone.

daylight speaks through somber teeth,
detrimental deeds hang on its back.
carve the words stuck on your cheek,
let winter crush all that we once had.
wasted, losing time.
I lost what was mine.
I’m sorry I let it smother our light.
I’m sorry I didn’t put up a fight.
my limbs hang bare, like trees;
I’ve given you all of me.
like the cold, you are life’s demise.
maybe I should have stayed inside.

cold shoulders crack under pressure;
just shield your eyes and look away.
it’s easier to deny you are lost
when you never see the light of day.
learn to love the tears in your seams,
the pages that withered in time.
healing has a beauty of its own.
be gentle with the time it takes to grow,
to embrace the spaces in between,
the process of learning how to be free.

we were the essence of the
early morning dust, floating
in expectation, of the
restriction in hopes we held.
I long for your touch, your gaze
gliding over my skin, your
illuminating shadow
imprinted as galaxies
growing over my body.
love me under covers,
hold me as your universe.
your meaning, your light to guide.
when mornings drag you away.

you like to count each candle
but hate when the wax drips down
burning you so naively
in its gentle, innocent
way. you blamed the blisters rising
on my hands, you stained them red.
these broken bones left to mend,
this weight that was never mine
is now left for me to bear.
you ask about the cracks and tears
when you didn’t handle with care.

will these scars ever heal?
the pounding, deafening
silence rise me from this
grave, this hole I dug alone
to try and stop the lights
from blurring every time
I get too close? Please burn
me so I’ll feel something.
I’m so tired of this
nothing, this gaping void
that demands to be felt.
but I only feel the
darkness sitting at night,
where you once slept.  where you
told me that you would be.
but there is only the
empty air, your absence
forever hanging there.

why did you tear away from me?
why did you have to go away?
I still feel your skin on my sheets.
your smell hangs like morning sunlight
through the windows watching you go.
give me these Saturday mornings
and I will give you Friday nights
leave me kisses that stain my skin
and rose shades to color the light.