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amalia Nov 2017
My heart stops beating just now
but my eyes keeps open somehow
amalia Oct 2017
Rainy day...
Blanket...
Music...
Tea..
Thoughts...

What the hell am i doing here?
Am i doing it right?
Am i missing a point?

I smell the dew like *******...
I came here to reduce my pain..

Thanks to those who thinks my life is better than theirs
Thank You!
It is one thing that keeps me going.

The other thing is just me pretending..

Pretending to be brave...
Pretending to be sure..
Pretending that i'd never grumble...
Pretending that i am in the happiest place to be...

The other thing is just me trying to forget that i was just pretending....
i've been feeling that my life is ****** up lately
amalia Oct 2017
To the cup of tea i say
" I love him so much"
The cloud up on my head picture him clearly
No blur..
My hand still recognize how softly his held mine

While the wind brought us to the red of love..

But still..

I locked myself in my bathroom the next day
Screaming his name...

Asking...
What the **** he's trynna do to me?

Asking...
Are we love?

To the cup of tea i say
"I wanna keep him"

To the almighty God i say
"Can I please keep him?"
amalia Oct 2017
Love..
It is not always how many hugs you gave to your lover in a day wishing they know what they means to you..
Love..
It is not always how much money you spent on lover's birthday to see them smiling.
Love...
It is not always a good night kiss
Love..
It is not always how to get "you are beautiful" for someone..
Love is ....
Wait let me google it..
No, Love is something that google cant explain enough what love is
Love is brain control to your heart..
Love is an art that heart does..
Love is arguing with lover..
Love is apologizing in bed before the good night kiss
Love is your father
Love is your mother
Love is your sister
Love is your brother
Love is my 9 years old sister (kekey, i love you so much)
Love is your best friend that stays and handed you an umbrella when life makes you torture.
Love is when you see yourself in the mirror

Why do we need love?
Love is the cure to reduce depression that is also caused by love..
amalia Sep 2017
My Birthday is coming....
I do not expecting any surprises
I do not need any present that wrapped beautifully with a red ribbon

One thing i most excited about is love....
a ton of loves i will get in my birthday..
a love from mother..
a love from lover...

nineteen years i've survived
i went to bad and good
i went to better or worst
hanging on so tight to my heartbeat

i don't know when is the time i should let go
but when the time is coming
i will make sure i have enough of love to hold on in my peace

life makes you dying and love saves you from dying
i wrote this on my birthday which was a couple months ago
amalia Sep 2017
I love him...
For God Sake
I love him....

I love him...
For whatever it is he's done to me
For whatever risk he took to treat me right

I love him...
For bad or good

I love him...
For today, still continue at tomorrow

I love him...
Like i said yesterday...
amalia Sep 2017
I don’t really know how much I love you today
but I was so sure you’re the one I love yesterday

I’m not really sure what makes me love you this much
but I swear I’m tired

Let me rest my heart on the white coat float on the quite river,
Please don’t you ever touch the water again it is already quiet enough for me to sleep.

Thank you, thank you for taking me to the roller coaster, it was fun yet scary, wasn’t it?
I know it wasn’t that scary for you,
cause you’re the one that created the road
and me, I am the victim of your ******* roller coaster taking high giving stomach a beautiful butterfly just to drop it harder,

I saw you laughing you saw me puking, that was a very cruel of you.

I knew it from the start,
I saw you coming,
I saw the sunrise coming,
It was warm and embraced me all day
for just a one day
before the storm coming,
the sunrise left me without any permission,
left me with this cold.

I told myself how fool I am to think that the sunrise will stay forever.
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