You were always
a mystery to me
that is what kept me hooked
you never let me get close enough
to figure out just what makes you tick
every time we got too close
you shut me out again
built up your walls so high
and i can't say i didn't try
to climb them or break them down
each time i tried i fell and got hurt
its different now that you just aren't around
you're not like others where i got closure
you just disappeared
fell flat off the **** earth
now you haunt me
and i've tried
to find you over
and over again
its as if you don't exist
or as if you only exist as a ghost
reminding me
that when you held me
it was always at arms length
and all i want
is just a little closure
but all i've got
is a ghost of
the person i thought
you might have been.

It seems so easy to lose yourself
In so many different ways
You can lose yourself
In a book
In writing
In a hobby
Or you can lose yourself
To your guilt
To meaningless time *****
To the media
No longer do I want to lose myself
In things that don't fill me
With love
With light
With joy
I want to ignite
To write
To be passionate
Not passive
I do not want to be a passive participant in life
Distracted by the lighting of my phone
So easy to miss out when
You're worrying about everything you might miss out on through a screen

I am an ocean
Restless, vast, constantly moving
Rarely ever
Settled
Wave after wave
Crashing constantly
Even in my stillness I'm unsettled

So much living within
Beneath the surface
I am bursting with life
Waiting to be explored
Theres much I have yet
To even discover

Danger lies within
Ready to be stirred
Be cautious
My heart, the eye of the storm
Known to leave destruction in its wake

Somehow
You manage to calm the storms within
Storms turn less destructive and give life
To beauty
You awaken in me light and laughter
You are my blue sky, my ray of sunshine
Together we make a beautiful summer day.

It's hard to get used to sleeping in new places
At home all of the little noises are familiar
A sweet lullaby to ease me into dreamland
Here, the noises are foreign
They are obtrusive and unwelcoming
And I find myself laying here
Exhausted but unable to rest
Brain scrambled and heart a mess
I know that soon
These noises too will become familiar
But tonight I'm missing home.

I am the sun
And you are my moon
Our love always shines  
Brightening up even the darkest of nights

Life seems to consume very part of me
All of the creativity that used to pour out of me like lava
is now dormant
Always there just beneath the surface
Just waiting to burst out
In a volcanic eruption
Or maybe it’s just that I don’t make time
I let time slip away
I’m hungry for the urge to create again
Where is my muse
How do I wake the burst waiting to come out of me
When I am dragged down
By the monotony of
Every day life.

Undeserving
Is how I would describe
Your love for me
And not because I don’t deserve to be loved
And not because I don’t deserve to be loved by you
But because
You love me even in the moments
Where I don’t show appreciation
When I’m rude
Or tired
Or snappy
Or selfish
I’m not always apologetic
I’m blunt
And I don’t always know how to show you
That I truly
Am so
In love with you
You brighten up my life
Bring a smile to my face so easily
I share so much with you
So much of the good
And probably too much of the bad
You are goofy
And fiercely loving
You warm my heart
Like no one else has ever
Done before
Never do I feel safer
Or more loved
Or happier
Than when I’m by your side
So I am sorry for not
Always being the easiest person to love
And thank you for loving me
Anyways.

I have learned that
Some people will never
Own up to their actions
They live in their own world
In which they believe they played the part perfectly
You can’t play the role if you don’t show up to the set
You’ve been written out of my life and yet you keep trying to cast yourself the same role
Over and over again
And it makes me wonder if you know
How a no-call-no-show really affects the director
And are you really that good at acting?
Or do you really not know how your actions impacted the story?
This wasn’t a normal play and you didn’t have an understudy
So I was left trying to find people to fill your role
Now the story has moved on without you
And you pretend as if you’ve been a part this whole time
The cast has changed a lot throughout the years
And now you want to jump right back in
Without even knowing how the story has developed in your absence
So why
Should I write you back in?
If you won’t own up
To the part you played in the character development that happened
As a result of your absence
You had one of the only roles that I had no choice in casting
But you had a choice, and you clearly didn’t want the part
Now you get to pretend
That you won an Oscar, you should get a standing ovation
But you haven’t played that part in years
If I replayed the last few acts of the story you would not be even a minor character, but I think you said a couple lines in the beginning.

people bastardize the dandelion
and say its just a nasty ****
but it brightens up your yard
so with you, i plead
do not fret about the dandelions
when they overtake your land
their wispy little seeds
are really wishes in your hand
how many dandelion bouquets
will it take
for you to see
that little yellow flower
is best
if just
let
be.

it's time
to remember the things
that help me to breathe better air
in a life that can be so
suffocating
lived most of my life with asthma
yet i still refuse to remember my inhaler
pretending i can breathe just as well
as the person next to me
but losing breath trying to keep up
i have never been ashamed
of stopping to catch my breath
but i have forgotten recently
to slow down
to take things at a pace that doesn't keep me
gasping for air
taking
small
breathers
in between the



long stretches
but need to take time to actually rest
time to be still and breathe deeply
when life is going at the speed of light
i need to remember
to bring my inhaler.

Sometimes I become so consumed with life
that I forget to embrace my release
I keep consuming more and more
but forgetting that there needs to be a balance
intake
release
one should not simply be a consumer of the world
but also a producer
in a culture of consumerism
i have forgotten how to
be my own producer
my own director
and most importantly
my own writer.

being in a relationship
sometimes feels like
being looked at through a telescope
neither of you knows much about one another
and through the telescope
you see the wonder and the beauty
it's the first stage of discovery
discovery only leads to more curiosity
so you dive deeper
it becomes more like
being looked at under a microscope
all the little pieces of you
are being examined
you do your best
to display only the beautiful parts of yourself
on the slides,
but you can't control what someone else sees
and sometimes until you're closely examined
you don't know you have a disease
and the more slides that are shown under the microscope
the more you discover
the more you know
and that gives you the power to change
to take medicine
because being in a relationship
should inspire you to be
the best version of yourself
and together
you can heal each other
stop the spread of disease
and see even more beauty
under the microscope
than you did through the telescope
and the next time you look through
that telescope you will be even more beautiful
than the last.

There's nothing quite like
Your first family dog
You bring him home as a puppy
And he is rambunctious and playful
He tugs at your ponytail and nips at your ankles
Always seems to find trouble
And then he gets older, he still likes to chase squirrels
Thinks he's the biggest baddest dog in town
He will always protect your family from the evil mastermind ( also known as the mailman)
Will always provide love and comfort
And is forever happy to see you
Especially if you have doggy ice cream or a banana ( but really he's not picky he'll eat anything other than lettuce)
There's nothing quite like
How a dog becomes family
From the moment you bring him home
He is filled with love and you are filled with love for him
You begin to make memories and then
Eventually it's hard to recall
Memories made without him
Through the good and the bad he was always by your side
There's nothing quite like
The heartbreak that happens
When your dog dies
When you lose a part of your family
Just thinking about the next time you go home
He won't be there to greet you with a wagging tail
There's nothing quite like dogs.

When I grow up
I want to be just like
A sunflower
Always growing taller
Reaching for the sun
Brightening every room I'm in
Rooted in truth and seeding the Earth with life
Wild, free and beautiful
I want to be like a Sunflower.

It seems like every dry spell
Gets longer and longer
If words are like water
Well, this county has been going through
A drought for quite some time
Use that water sparingly,
Restrictions apply from 6am-12pm
Don't exhaust
Your resources
It seems between essays and normal conversations
The supply has run dangerously low
But you,
You brought the rain
The rain that ended this drought
Thank you for being my reason to write again
The world feels right again.

I warned myself
Not to let a person
Feel like a home
But I let down my walls
And built up new ones with you
Reconstructing what I thought love was
Should have brought a hard hat
Probably hit my head when I fell
For you
You've got me feeling kind of silly
Feeling kind of light headed
But never faint hearted
You keep my heart
And my stomach
Full.

My words now
Seem only
Adequate
But I cannot seem to adequately
Put into words
What I want to say.

No one ever tells you  that
Even in the happiest place on earth
You can still feel blue
That there are things you have to do as a person
To thine ownself be true
These things that  will help you grow
Like taking vitamins
To strengthen your bones
But sometimes you have to take the vitamins
That you find disgusting
No one tells you that
there will always be growing pains
And you wont always have enough medicine
Or a mom close enough to give you the grape flavored medicine not the cherry kind
sometimes it just hurts
Sometimes you just have to let it hurt
life will give you more than you can stomach
But when you consume good things
You will produce good things
But the opposite is also true
Even being surrounded by people
Thousands of people
You can feel alone
Because nothing,
I mean nothing
Is ever quite like home
And home is where the heart is
But right now mines far away
Making the best out of what i have
But feeling  low today
Sometimes you just need to be
Surrounded by people you love
And being a thousand miles away
Is difficult when push
Comes to shove.

let's wander
exploring new places
we'll wonder
how we could ever be the same

let's ponder
oodles of  ideas
and over yonder
we can make a new name

our comfort zone
may feel like home
but heaven knows
where we might roam
discovering that where we're from
is not all that is to come
there is more than your hometown
be willing to live upside-down

let's adventure
into the unknown
this will quench your
curiosity

let's take the bench here
and appreciate the beauty
we'll entrench your
heart's ferocity

the only map we have to guide us
is the voice we have inside
the paths that we can take are vast
no more looking to our past
only we can choose our fate
our journey is what we create

and if i were to compare you to anything
it would be to how i like my coffee:
strong enough to wake me up
when nothing else will  do the trick
sweet enough to remind me
that there is still magic
but most importantly i want you
warm and pressed gently
against my lips.

i need to sleep
yet i sit here at my laptop
trying to find the words
to accurately describe how i'm feeling
but i'm coming up short
it's a mix
of exhausted
and annoyed
and joyful
what a weird combination
would we be a weird combination?
or would we work well together
is there a future?
or is this just a far fetched fantasy
composed of infatuation and the feeling of
not wanting to end up alone
i just want to know how i actually feel about you
with so many miles between us
it's hard to say
but sometimes it's easier to say things
at a distance
courage from behind a screen
but you have recently come up missing
and i don't know how to take it
don't know if you're wasting my time
if talking to you was a mistake
i just don't want my heart to break
but if i don't put myself out on the line
how will i know if i'm a good catch or not?
don't want to wear my heart on my sleeve
don't want to be easy to read
just want to know where to go
from here
want to close the gap between the states that separate us
and the gap between your lips and mine
but again i wonder
is this even worth a try?
are you messing with my heart
or are you being true
i wish i was sure
but i'm uncertain
about you.

i was fine
with sleeping alone
until i realized i could
be sleeping with you
by my side

today my name
is just another reminder
that my father never cared
Alysia spelled a l y s i  a
or in some cases ayslia
the name my father gave me yet
he cannot seem to get it right
but when you're on ****
it's hard to get anything right
my name is shrouded in dark shadows
it tastes bitter in my mouth
just another reminder of
my father's failure
it sounds like the car that crashed into my heart  the day I recognized my father's absence
my name is Alysia spelled alysia
or aylisa depending on his state of mind

Too often are we obsessed
with nesting,
making homes
out of other people
rather than ourselves
we make ourselves cozy
within the confines of the walls
they had to let down in order to welcome us in
we lace ourselves in between their fingers ,
hoping that we might also find ourselves
imbedded in their heart
we embrace the richness of their voice
as if it were a lullaby drowning out
the voice in our own heads
a person was never meant
to be made into a home
just trying to find their own way
in their uneasy bones
people are
fickle homes
with restless minds
and tired bones
i am learning to make a home
within myself
to clean the dust off of the blinds
that shield my eyes
and see the world a little clearer
it is time to clean out the attic of my mind
to paint my skin a different color
because I have always wanted my home
to be as colorful as i feel
i will explore the depths
of my own temple
and build in myself
a strong foundation
because the foolish man built
his house on the sand,
the foolish man also
made a home, out of a man.

when it comes to showing you
how much you mean to me
i am hardly transcendent
but i can promise you
that it's oodles more than you think
i don't always show
gratitude
for the things you do for me
but i always appreciate them
a lot of people use the cliche
"I couldn't imagine my life without you"
but don't mean it the way i do
because really
i can't imagine my life without you
fifteen years of friendship
from kindergarten till college
i can't imagine getting so easily annoyed at anyone else
over something stupid and small
but never going too long
without making peace
i can't imagine going through life
with anybody other than you
nobody else is as synchronized with me
yet also the total opposite of me
nobody else shares life's many frustrations
and joys
as much as i have with you
Proverbs 18:24 says
"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
so thank you
for being that friend
for keeping me together
so i don't come to ruin
for becoming part of my family
and welcoming me into yours
i can't imagine my life without you.

people always say that you are
what you eat
i lost my appetite
a while back
does that mean that
i'm nothing?
or maybe "you are what you eat" means
you are
what you experience
you are the people
you choose to surround yourself with
and the people who
surround themselves with you
you are your favorite song
your favorite book
your favorite poem
you are musical metaphors
the shows that fascinate you
and the characters that steal your heart
people like to say that
nobody is unique
but everyone eats differently
so how could that be?
my question still remains
if i have lost my appetite
for life
then what am i?
if i take in
only what i can choke down
only what others force down my throat
then what am i?
if you are what you eat
then i am withering
away
to
nothing.

dear monster under my bed,
you do not have scales or spikes
or sharp teeth
you are not slimy or fifty  feet tall
but somehow
you terrorize my life
all the same
you are godzilla
and I am Tokyo
breaking at the will of your
appetite for destruction
monsters aren't always as we portray them
they aren't always two faced
or blood *******
they aren't always hideous and terrifying
monsters hide in plain sight
sometimes the scariest monsters
that we encounter
are simply human
and nothing more.

people always say
that a girl's first love
should be her father
what happens when
her father chooses something
else to be the focus of his love
instead of her?
she learns from his absence.
as kids, we pick up on everything
constantly learning
watching your every move
i learned things
from watching you
some i wish i hadn't
some i'm glad i have
i learned that i accept
the love that i think i deserve
since i learned how to receive love
from you
that i often accept way less
than i deserve
i also learned patience and
how to love people just to love them
not expecting anything in return
i learned that people make time
for what truly matters to them
if you can't spare the time
then you don't really care
i understand that actions have consequences
and that
you don't seem to realize that your actions
have consequences
that sometimes
the consequences affect me
or my brother
through watching you i have learned
that you can't make someone care about you
it's a waste of breath to try
that sometimes you deserve more love
than someone is willing to offer you
even if that someone is your father
you see, when i was little
i always called myself a "daddy's girl"
i clung to you when you were around
because you weren't around much
a lot of people are devastated
when their parents
get divorced
i cannot say that i felt the same way
your absence wasn't anything
i wasn't already familiar with
i would never miss the temper
you directed towards my mom
while you've been out
playing the blame game
pretending that your decisions don't
affect anyone else's lives
i have been watching with child-like eyes
learning for the most part
what not to do
you were the cause
my life was the effect
i learned that parents are supposed to
be the adults
sometimes they act like children
the most important lesson
that you never taught me
is that sometimes people
don't deserve the love you give them
but you give it to them anyways
not because of anything they have done
for you
simply because
so thank you
for all the life lessons
for helping me develop character
i might not have otherwise acquired
thank you for helping me realize
that i can stand up for myself
even to you
that doesn't mean
i don't still love you
even though
i learned all of these things in spite of you
i still always love you.

lately it seems like
I only exist
when it's convenient for you
and that
freaking hurts.

i put a lot of effort into people
who put way too little effort into me
maybe i learned this from childhood
i thought i was a daddy's girl
but now i realize
i clung to my dad
when he was around
because he wasn't around much
i put way too much effort
into people
who put minimal effort into me
and i'm working on letting go
because yes
i want to be the person who
will cross oceans for someone
who wouldn't cross a puddle for me
because that is how you make the world
a brighter place
but it can be
unbearable
feeling like
you are never
anybody's
priority

You see the prejudice runs deeper
than just racism or sexism
the problem is
this "us and them" mentality
the problem is
separatism
when you separate people from all the prejudices
all you see are a bunch of humans
there is no
"us and them"
we are supposed to be
one nation united
instead we are
one nation divided
too focused on outward appearances
not focused enough
on what everyone is actually made up of
guts
if you boil down to it
everyone can be summed up into
a skin sack full of guts
too focused on location
that we decide
that some people
don't deserve help
because they aren't "one of us"
so focused on our differences
that we miss the similarities
so focused on what offends us
caught up in our own prosperity
when it all boils down to it
we're all composed of the same stuff
just in different combinations
all simply human
across the many nations
every single one of us
is a warrior of our own personal battles
we feel the need to shake up
other's lives as if they were rattles
why have we become a culture so poisonous
quick to strike anyone
who doesn't agree with us
kindness has become a rarity
most of us would rather please ourselves
than give to any charity
I'm not saying that i'm not guilty
i'm just saying that
we all need to try a little harder
to smile at passing strangers
to pass a little kindness
because it's become endangered.

i can't be your everything,
but i can be your something
and i no longer care
what we are anymore
as long as we aren't nothing
you can't be my everything,
but you can be my something
you can't be my everything
but you can be my "one thing".

and we all just want to be
the subject of someone else's  poetry
someone else's endless fascination
to be compared to the ocean,
so mysterious and beautiful
because
for some reason
it would be enough
if you
were the person
that they think about
at four a.m. when
sleep escapes them
the reason that they sing
in the shower
we all are hungry
for weighty words
that fulfill our craving
to be loved
we want to be
stripped naked by
the rawness
of their metaphors
we  fall in love
not with others
but
with the way
we want others
to fall in love
with
us.

You are like the ocean
Drawing me in
As I step closer to the water
My feet sink in the sand
Leaving impressions of myself on the
Surface of your heart
But you steal the sand beneath my feet
I am swept into the water
With one wave you captured my being
You are so vast and beautiful
You are unending
And all encompassing
I wish nothing more than to drown
In the tides of your love
To sink deeper into the heart of my God
Because like the ocean your love is vast and
There is still so much left of you
To discover
Your word is my map
The guide to all treasure
And I will follow it faithfully
And though I might get a little lost sometimes
You are a patient guide
A faithful compass
And you will see me through
The stormy weather
And lead me home
Once more.

God is teaching me
how to not be so
reactive
that it is okay
to walk away
without explanation
that i don't have to
explain myself
to anyone
because he already knows my heart
completely
he is teaching me
to let go
of the things of this world
and hold on tight
to my relationship with him
and not my relationships
with others
because i feed off of
the energy of the people
i surround myself with
and i don't always
surround myself
with positive people
he has taught me that
if i feed off of people
instead of him
that i will always
be left feeling hungry
so this is my surrender.

have i given
too much of myself
away?
maybe i'm breaking at
the seams
and it seems
i am worse off
than i thought
bottled up my problems
now they're leaking
from the top
thought i had some me
to spare
that there was enough of me
to share
but i gave myself away
and now i sit
in a hollow shell
wallowing in
my own personal hell
tried to make people feel at home
but all i am is skin and bone
people are not meant
to be made into homes
the base of humans
is fragile bones
there is no concrete
to keep me steady
when life starts
to get too heavy
i built my home upon the sand
but it seems the walls wouldn't
stand
if you're going to make
a human your home
maybe you should
be your own
because until you have
a strong foundation
you can't attempt
to be someone else's
salvation
because the foolish man built
his house on the sand
the foolish man made a home
out of man.

(never) in my life
(have) i been organized
(i)'ve always
(found comfort in) clutter
favoring (a room)
(with) collections of curiosities
than one with (clear surfaces).

this is a year in which i will
work on realizing my
worth
realizing what i'm worth
realizing that i'm worth
more than what maybe
you can offer
i will work on realizing
that some pathways
you have to abandon
that i myself
am a pathway
best left
untraveled
untrampled
no longer will i let people
leave trails of litter
in the pathways of my heart
i will become healthier
ridding myself of the
sugarcoated people
who threaten to clog my arteries
with the sweetness of their artificial words
and broken promises
i will drop all of the weight
that has found itself
placed on my shoulders and somehow
left a burden in my heart
i will exorcise
the demons that haunt my
every waking moment
i will organize
my thoughts
and become a more calm
collected person
i will travel more
i'll buy a ticket
for a new train of thought
leaving the old one
on abandoned tracks
i will be more charitable,
realizing that
sometimes the charity i need to
give to is myself
because sometimes
i am the one in need of help
i will learn the language
of positive thoughts
and self-love
because it has become foreign to me
i will sleep better
not letting myself
lose any sleep
over people
who won't even
give me the time of day.

for now
i shall have to keep you
tucked away
in a  far away pocket of my mind
but i can't seem to find a pocket
secure enough
because you just keep
coming back
to the front of my mind
and i wouldn't mind
if it stopped
need to find my focus
but keep losing focus
need a pocket
big enough to keep
the thought of you
secure
but there isn't a lock strong enough
to hold back the thought of you
and maybe that would be easier
if you only took up residence in my mind
but it seems
that you have  also
taken up residence
in my heart.

Grief strikes
At unexpected  moments
Memories that I stored away
Have abruptly resurfaced
And just like in the moment when
He told me that you were  gone
My breath  is taken away from me
And everything  feels wrong
Flash backs of that day
Flood my aching heart
And just like that  day
I'm torn all apart
Reliving the worst day of my life
And the last day of yours.

1.** that i know you can't always be there for me
and sometimes you can't even be there for yourself
but sometimes
it hurts because
while trying to help build you up
i'm my own construction worker as well
and building two things up at once
....
rarely goes well.

2. that i know that you care about me
more than you show it
but i sometimes wish...
that maybe
...
maybe
you showed it
just a little more.

3. that i don't always know
what you need
but i will always try and help you
even sometimes
at my own
expense.

4. i need you to know
that you are way more important to me
than you can probably imagine
and that when you're feeling small you can remember
that you matter
to at least one soul.

5. that you are not alone in your battles
and that i take the "no soldier left behind" thing
very seriously.

6. that even though i am beyond confused
at where we stand at any given moment
i'll stand here with you.

7. that the times you need me most
i will be there
even if you can't do the same.

8. that you are worth it
all of it
every
last
bit

9. that i love you
in whatever form you want to take it
or if you want to take it at all

we all carry sadness
differently
some people carry it in their eyes
some carry it in their heart
i carry mine
in my stomach
and
i don't feel well tonight.

and i know that it's not your fault
that depression takes its toll
and it weighs heavy on your shoulders
but the space between us hurts
i know that your instinct is to
push me away
and shut me out
when things get rough
but i will still be here
wherever you need me to be
because i am not just in it
because of what you have to offer me
i am in it because i think..
i think that i might
have something to offer
and that's why i'm here
offering to just lie next to you
and listen to records
because you don't always feel like talking
i'm here for when you feel like talking
for reassurance and
a warm hug
because sometimes the only thing
that kills loneliness is being wrapped in
someone else's arms
i'm here to make you laugh
and lend you a smile
when that's the last thing you want to do
so know
that i will be here for you
no matter what you decide
if you want distance
even if it stings a little
i will offer you distance
i am not worried
about what it might cost me
because whatever i have to offer you
might just be worth it.

this lack of communication
is leaving me wondering even more
it's not even that we're dancing
around the subject
we're at a stalemate
silence
i would rather the alternative
because at least then i would have
noise to distract me from
the bustle of my busy mind
running in every which direction
trying to find
where we stand
we weren't standing
when you kissed me
we were on your floor
listening to records
reading comics
and then everything stopped
when you kissed me,
all except my mind
which was racing
and my heart which was pounding
wondering if you kissed me
just because you were intoxicated
or because being intoxicated gave you
the little bit of courage needed
to close the gap between my lips and yours
or in that moment was there clarity?
because it really isn't clear to me
and i guess in a bit we'll see
where we stand
for now i sit in
the chaos of my curious mind
wishing i had even a clue
of where to go
from here.

sitting in silent confusion
lost in my mind again
lost my mind again
sitting silently
again
confused.

We had our first kiss
when you were intoxicated
now I'm intoxicated and
wishing that
there was a second kiss
not sure which is more intoxicating,
you
or the shots
I took with my friends
but I'm willing to take a shot on you
not sure where to go from here
home never seems far away
when I'm with you,
828 miles away
but you bring me back home
with each piece of snail mail you send me
every letter of the alphabet
sounds so much better
when it comes from your lips
and I'd prefer if your lips were touching
mine

it's your birthday
and i didn't even think about you once today
it's your birthday
and i didn't even remember
i forgot
like you forgot
me
and my birthday
didn't remember till someone else
told me
and it occurred to me today
that i don't think about you
not even on special occasions
I.E :your birthday.

Feeling indefinite
feelings indefinite
my feelings aren't definite
i'm feeling definite?
definitely in love with you?
but it isn't definite..
i don't know if that's how you define it
i am indefinite
searching for definite
definition: clearly stated or decided; not vague or doubtful
definitely trying to define it
i have love for you
but whether or not i'm in love with you
is indefinite.

When you get lonely
just remember all the time we spent together
doing nothing
laying side by side and listening to
all the records
of music you just knew i'd fall in love with
but you didn't know that
it was the music i'd fall in love with you to
our life was like a musical
you were my summer lovin
only i couldn't call you mine,
only the fond memories of time spent with you
you were mine in those moments
chubby chipmunk cheeks , a pint full of ice cream and each other's company to make it all better,
riding bikes through a dusty trail
that i've traveled through
time after time
never was it more beautiful
than when i was there with you
we were looking for signs of life in the pond
while i was looking for signs of love in your eyes
the loud music of the concert
we went to that night rattled my bones
but you , you rattled my heart
a night that i should have made you sleep
by my side because there's nothing that
i'd like more than to just lie next to you
when i woke up,
you made me french toast
if that's not sweet enough
maybe i should have put more syrup on it
or more honey in my tea
you let me drink the last bit of your favorite tea
You're my favorite cup of tea
when i was full you took me
to a place you knew i'd love
you didn't know i'd love you more
for taking me there
bookstores are always filled with  a certain kind of magic
somehow wandering the warehouse
with you by my side was even more static
you bought me the books i fancied
one of them with the title "14,000 Things to be happy about."
i renamed it "14,001 Things to be happy about."
  the book was missing one important thing,
your name.