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920 · Jun 2022
Mirror
Always Sulking Jun 2022
Why are you afraid? Afraid of letting the world have your taste!
Zipped! Living in a bubble. No acquaintance with the world!
When did you lose the curiosity? It makes you alive

Your veil of ignorance makes you think they are monsters out to get to you
Look deep! Look deep!
The world is you & you are the world
It's a mirror reflecting back what's inside of you

Bring clarity! Bring clarity!
And tear away that veil
Look within, then look away
You may find yourself in a different being!
Relating to the world
331 · Jun 2022
A Poem for 9 to 5
Always Sulking Jun 2022
You take away my morning, my noon and my evening
So I am left with the darkness of the night
But everyday sleep has its way.

I work 6 days a week
It's so hard to face the Sunday
It's supposed to be free but it's full of gloom
Give me more than one day free, please!

One day to spend with the dusty table and floor, spoiled clothes of the week and the spider webs on the wall
And the next day to spend with myself.

And that's my little ambition these days!
257 · Jul 2020
In search of answers
Always Sulking Jul 2020
In search of answers
I was
Found it &
Now I feel lost

In search of answers
I was
Running miles
Found it
To realise
I was running
In circles all along

In search of answers
I was
Distracted
Running in different directions
Fractionated
A two headed snake
Found myself in a maze

In search of answers
I was
Found
Every effort undone
Back to square one

In search of answers
I was
Found
Myself trying to outrun
Dilemma
A battle lost or a battle won?

In search of answers galore
I was
Found it
Clueless
Now I feel more vaccum and void
Than before
212 · Apr 2021
Lost coin
Always Sulking Apr 2021
You-a wandering coin
Getting dusted
And tasting the heat of the ground
About to get buried under it
Until I picked you up
I knew you can never be mine
Even though you were lost
And I found you
Because you carry something within yourself
A scent
Of her
And your heart reeks of it
Even though you can't carry yourself
She has made a home within you
That could carry you through
Even if I had not found you

Now that I have found you
Knowing you can never be mine
I'll use you for my wishing well
And I'll only wish well for you!
Always Sulking Jun 2020
Time kept ticking and I waited for time
One step closer to the end of line
Watching life as the time went by
I kept dreaming and I was fine

I waited to reach the borderline
Now I am here and I just don’t shine
Going to take one day at a time
I’ll keep dreaming and I’ll be fine

I went downhill
But now I’ll climb
My dreams are worth a dime
I’ll keep dreaming and I’ll be fine

Only when I am done
I am going to die
Our dreams are worth this lifetime
We’ll keep dreaming and we’ll be fine
115 · Aug 2020
Miss Cold & Blue
Always Sulking Aug 2020
She touches the fire
But turns it into ice
She thinks of doing good once
Instead she does the bad twice
Her body with imprints of all the hues
But her heart is painted only of blue
Those who try to turn it red
Find their souls barren and wrecked

Once she wanted to be loved
and housed by warmth
She chose a route leading to fire
Walking that road
She burned with "their" desire
Watching her ashes in the air
She missed her cold flair
Her cold- her need, dire
She reached an epiphany
Of why she was fond of cold
As, build on blue
Was the genesis of her soul
115 · Jul 2020
Broke
Always Sulking Jul 2020
You touched my heart
And broke it gently
106 · Aug 2020
Time
Always Sulking Aug 2020
Time is my enemy
I didn't treat her right
All she needed was saving
All I did was waste her all night
103 · Aug 2020
Untitled
96 · Jul 2020
Fill her with your light
Always Sulking Jul 2020
Conditional love
Poured by the Sun
She pines for him
The secret passion to be returned
Her yearning unsatisfied
One side it's day
The other, the night
Following you around
Brighten her other side
The nocturnal eros
Fill her with your light

Always in circle, always in sight
To remind you of your dark & your light
Your warmth fills her air
With tears and despair
She builds walls, black & blue cloud
Then reaps her sow, thunderous & loud
Everyday is a fight
Your unconditional love
Her longing, her plight
Chase away her grayness
Fill her with your light.
96 · Aug 2020
Untitled
Always Sulking Aug 2020
Don't be bothered
If I am cold and sad
Love, you ask?
Don't expect something which I don't have
88 · Jul 2020
Confusing
Always Sulking Jul 2020
She wants communication
She wants understanding
And she also wants understanding without communication
Man! Is she confusing.
88 · Jul 2020
Foreign skin
Always Sulking Jul 2020
This soul is mine
But skin of some other
Masquerade that I’ve put on
Replicated from another

I wanted to be you
Your skin so comfortable, full of originality
When you were not around me
I stole your personality

Ignorance was a bliss
As I enjoyed the few seconds of fame
But the conscience was screaming
Foreign beast, trying to tame

It was all an act
A pretension
"Admire me
I crave your attention"

But soon I realized
Foreign skin too, has flaws
But it’s all too late now
I can’t seem to let it go

I tried to change myself for the world
Trying to impress one another
Replicating the Replicated
I feel lost forever

I want to be free of this sin
Can’t reside anymore in this foreign skin
Because I am trying to live a lie
A lie that’s not even mine

It’s all a deceit
That you see
I really don’t know myself
I desire to know what it’s like to be me!
87 · Jun 2020
Societal Bargain
Always Sulking Jun 2020
Once I had the chance
To free my chained wings
To attain my carte-blanche
To sour high and sing

Every moment I sink
As I failed to think
My doom was confirmed
When their norms, I conformed

The path they showed
A million times, it was treaded
Still chose that road
Once that I dreaded

But chained to their brain
I went insane
My life was detained
I regretted this societal bargain

But it has been enough
Can’t let them dictate
Now I’ll steer this ship of life
And carve my own fate
Poetry about breaking the chains fastened on us by society and getting over their fabricated dogma.
81 · Jul 2020
Weed
Always Sulking Jul 2020
Bought your wildflower seed
Sowed it
Into my heart
Watered it everyday
With your soul smile
With our silly songs
& silly fights
With the thought of our hands entangled
With the memory of your deep eyes speaking to my eyes
With the remains of your touch of lips onto mine

But you left
And I still water it everyday
With the flood of tears
With my pen painting my diary red
With the imprints of your smile on my soul
With your fiery passion of gold
With the part of you living inside me
With the wounds that never can be healed
Only scar me

Aware of what it will do to me
I still water it everyday
Knowing it will only grow into ****.
81 · Jul 2020
Cost of your freedom
Always Sulking Jul 2020
Blow your human trumpets,
Through your guns & weapon,
Shed the blood of your brother,
To attain your freedom.

I’ll join your troop,
Paint my hand red,
Put on the god band-aid,
**** some more.

**** our children,
Stain our women,
Turn your humans dead,
Chastise humanity,
And justify it with mud,

Does means justify the end?
When that means results into the tragic end.
Cost of your freedom,
Is the price of their blood,
Different motives yet similar end.
78 · Aug 2020
Petrichor
Always Sulking Aug 2020
She is a great dine
They, feeding off of her
Her tears, their wine
She managed to save some
On a secret corner of her reservoir
As it fills to the brim
It was a monsoon
On her long deserted heart
Monsoon turns to flood
As she let it pour out today
Nothing is left in her reservoir today
But she is now a Terra
Left with sweet petrichor today
77 · Jul 2020
Descendants of Adam
Always Sulking Jul 2020
Never have Sapiens
Been so disparaging
Descendants of Adam
Obscured by him
Shocked with the
Spectacle of power and greed
God sent
Crusader of peace
Messenger of His
Bastion of amnesty

Watched them
Hanging at the end of their rope
Everyday hitting a lowest low
Lies after lies after lies
"But thank God! Don't have Pinocchio's nose!"

He ascended from earth
With no answers to give
Except
"Shak's said it's all a play
Maybe the world don't need saving
Just to be entertained
Before all are slayed"

The God, behind the eight ball
Pondering
"What did I create?"

I ask Him
"Does it sting?
Maybe it's the result of your own doing."
Critique much appreciated
76 · Jul 2020
My Place
Always Sulking Jul 2020
A place where I find solace
Solace enriching my soul with peace
Break from my entangled thoughts
My room where I can't be caught

A safe haven
Station of my floating thoughts
A fiery hell
A stroking to my fire

Display of my emotion pink
Serenity of my mind green
Purity of my soul white
Testimony of my love tainted yellow

Space for my ugly mess
Stage for my mind’s chaos
Here I am more than a little less
A place where I find my place
76 · Jul 2020
Breaking the barrier
Always Sulking Jul 2020
Holding dark virtues with the facade of civilization,
Use religion to wash our brain,
Tell me to join your race,
Followed everything you said,
And tied the knot to my own face.

What do you want now,
With the seed of conformity you sow,
My brain is dead,
With the garbage I have been fed.

I am done being an A-girl,
I am getting out of that mould now,
Be ready for a change,
Be ready for a revenge!
73 · Jul 2020
Choices
Always Sulking Jul 2020
Waking up with greyness
Losing my childish madness
I was once the jolly one
I was once the folly one
I was once pure and white
Fire of agony, ignite

Every day I find myself complaining
How did I get here?
When did I choose?
The person I have become
When did I let myself loose?
Losing my own right ways
Right in their own right
And choosing their self-righteous ways

Stuck in this conundrum
Often I wonder
They had their ways
But I had options too
Why did I let loose?
Why didn’t I choose?
Who is to blame here?
People who made decisions for me
Or me, who didn’t refuse?
71 · Jul 2020
Copycat
Always Sulking Jul 2020
Stand tall in front of that mirror,
See another self,
Try to match my standards,
And come up short.

Peek inside my brain,
Steel my thoughts,
And emulate it as your own.

Talk to me,
Borrow my words,
And ***** your sugar-coated stuff.


Why don't you try "yourself",
And stop intruding my shell,
Stand tall in front of that mirror,
Try seeing your-own-****-self.
69 · Jun 2020
Life!
Always Sulking Jun 2020
They deserved the best
For they accepted the worst
But luck came into play
And snatched it all away

"Life is not fair"
Is now what they say
To which life smiled and said
"I have a surprise at the end!"
Life will be good
66 · Jul 2020
The Day
Always Sulking Jul 2020
There is a deepest darkest sea
Lingering inside my soul
The day when I reach it
Is the day I am saved

The display of sunlight
Hides away the grey clouds
The days those clouds “shine”
Is the day when I am found

There is war waging inside
The mind defeating my innocent heart
The day my heart wins
Is the day it is well-fought

There is a fire, there is a cold
Both darkness and light I hold
The day they stand together and bold
Will be the day for you to behold!
59 · Jul 2020
Fly
Always Sulking Jul 2020
Fly
Flying above the water,
Above the winter cloud,
Our hands making love,
Our silence so loud

Floating in the air,
Dancing with a flair,
No one to dare,
In a world with no care

Our bodies so close,
Above the blue, we rose,
Flowing with a poise,
Our love making noise

A hundred million wishes,
One to read your mind,
One to see that glimpse
Of green and blue
From up above the sky,
One to disappear for a while,
But of all the choices offered to me,
I'll always prefer to fly
With you.
58 · Jul 2020
Taped heart
Always Sulking Jul 2020
A shot of love
The veil of love
Blinds me
When I see a new kind
I fall hard
It breaks my heart
Slowly, silently & without any sound
In search of broken pieces
I go beyond the past
Some are lost and some are found
I meet a new lover
Only to break his heart
Picked his broken pieces
To fill my gaps
To mend my own heart
Now I speak differently
When you meet me
The one with the scattered pieces
Is now with a taped heart
The love not returned

— The End —