My car rumbled
Outside your house
Last night

Searching for
The bedroom light
Through your curtain

Knowing your car
Was cold behind
The garage door

Unsure of why
I decided
To drop by

Perhaps I believed
You would feel me
Looking in

Maybe I thought
You were merely a dream
Nonexistent

Wondering if we
Really continued
To live separate lives

I was back
In Bloomington
Last night

Loudly playing
Your favorite
Rock rhyme

Swore I could smell
Your e-cig
From the driver's side

Maybe I stopped by
Bloomington
To beckon you

Thinking I was
A siren
Able to lure you

Perhaps I accomplished
Whatever I
Set out to

Sang my
Sweet song
Led you to doom

But I don't think my call
Seeped through
Your bedroom walls

Either I
Was too quiet
Or you were
Preoccupied

Chest pains
Burning like
Forest
Fires

Spreading to
Tree limbs
Or
Wingspans

The body
Is an easy thing
To burn down,
Grandfather

These tiny
Sparks
Are heightened
Scares

There is
No possible way
To put out
The flames

And I am
Not ready
To gather
The ashes

There's an ocean
Sloshing around
Inside my head

With each step
I feel the waves
Lap my skull

My mind is
Warped like
A heavy bucket

Brunette waves
Used as
A handle

His hands
Grab handfuls
Yanking my hair

Steers me clear
Of sweet
Relief

Takes me
And my ocean
Anywhere

Has me
Tag along
Just in case

If salty rivers
Ever succeed
In their escape

He let's them flow
Indifferent of
My waterways

The thought of
A rod through my navel
Sent you spiraling
Into fits of rage

After we broke
Things off last summer
I cleaned my skin
And pierced away

Long wavy hair
Was my only choice
The single way
To be seen

Yet, I got the guts
To do it my way
Bravado voice;
Cutting it clean

Sweet red wine
Was a sin and a stain
"Tainted words"
Your complaint

Declared what was mine
With moscato and champagne
Flew with the birds -
Absent restraint

Ink was for
Drawing on paper
For processed trees -
Not porcelain skin

Claimed my pores
As lavish wallpaper
My own decree
You've deemed a sin

Our love
Could be contained,
And easily
Spilt over.

Sopping wet,
Soaking through
The elements of
Our environment.

You were the wind.
I was the waves.
Together we created
A hurricane.

Liquid love
Attempted to
Wash us clean.
It did not succeed.

Our love
Brought on
A flash flood.
There was no warning.

Thoughts concerning you
Have been absent

You were a brief moment
In what once was

I told you to come back...
And you have

But I am not sure
Why you're here

You may have made
My knees weak

Your delicate touch
May linger still

We might have made plans
To sneak away for a weekend

But those short-lived weeks
Haven't haunted me

I don't know
Why you're here

And I'm not sure
You know either

He comes back in flashes
Like mistakes I never made

I come across pictures
I tried to forget

Snapshots in the windy city
Cabs and train stations

I forgot that we wrote our initials
On a pizzeria bench

Forgot that your hands
Felt like a limb of my own

You felt just as essential
As an eye or a lung

I've been blocking out memories
Thoughts of what used to be

You took me to see my favorite band
Stood next to me while I cried

Put your arm around me
As they played their last piece

Remember when we were
Hundreds of miles apart?

You would fall asleep
During our videochat

But you didn't know that I
Would stay awake

Just to hear your heavy breath
Just to watch you sleep

I soaked in those moments
Tender like the flesh on your back

My mind has been trying
To block out

How it felt to sleep
Next to you

But I remember
Oh, I remember

I cannot forget.
I don't think I ever will.