alliyah

alliyah Dec 2018

is it okay to die?
is it okay to just die?
is it okay that i found peace in being trapped?

i just wanna lay 6 feet under the ground,
unable to move,
unable to breathe.

is it okay if i wanna escape?
is it okay if i slit my wrist?
is it okay if i hang myself?
is it okay if i swallow pills?
is it okay if i do what i wanna do?

no, it is not okay.
no, it is not acceptable.
no, i shouldn't do that.

but, i want to.
and i'm only strings away from doing it.

now, let me ask you again,
is it okay to die?
yes, it is.

i just wanna give up my life.

#alliyah #elegy #sadpoems

alliyah Dec 2018

Tired, so tired

I eat, I sleep, I walk.
I do things normal people would do.

I'm alive but i'm empty.
No food can fill this emptiness,
No drink can drown my thoughts.

What am I gonna do now?

I feel empty but I don't know why my heart is heavy.

I sleep and rest,
but why am I always tired?

I seek light by closing my eyes,
hoping that the moment I open them,
everything would just stop.

I walk, and walk, and walk.
Making myself tired.

I walked such great distance,
I hope after this walk I'm already tired, so tired that I can't open my eyes anymore.

Tired or you're just lethargic?

#tired #alliyah #elegy

alliyah Dec 2018

Fire

I'm just there
sitting,
watching the
woods burn.

Staring intently
finding comfort
in this
shallow heat.

Slowly
I stand
and walk
towards the fire.

In a snap
I am already
hugging the fire,
feeling it's heat.

Before I
realize it
i'm already
burning.

I screamed
and shouted
for help but
no one can hear.

I got out
of the fire
but I am
still burning.

I burned
and burned
until my
tears fell.

The ashes
of the
past are
out there.

Mixed
with
the air
I breathe.

And
slowly
suffocating
me.

don't play with fire kids.

#fire #alliyah

alliyah Dec 2018

I Thought

I thought you're perfect,
I thought you're pure.
I thought I was the one you like,
I thought I was the one you need.

You looked at me with those eyes,
full of adoration and emotions I can't name.

Is that a sign?

A sign that you'll hurt me,
a sign that you'll break my heart.

I thought I was the one
you want,
you need,
you... love.

But I was wrong,
you want someone else,
and that,
killed me.

Ouch?

#i #thought #alliyah

alliyah Dec 2018

Gasp and Breathe

The pain is suffocating,
It's getting harder and harder to breathe.

My lungs is filling with unknown gas.
My heart is sinking in pain.
My eyes are drowning in tears.
My mind is getting tangled with thoughts.

Let me go please...

My heart is getting heavier and heavier with this package, package that I don't want to receive.

Just a few more deep breaths, just a few more... and i'll take my last gasp of air.

this is the poem that i submitted here, and yep.. i got in.

#gasp #breathe #alliyah

— The End —