I'm starting to like you
and it's all your fault.

Every word
a land mine
buried under thick skin
drowned in venom
mauling at teeth

a shoreline shudder

Hardened men
tiptoe around a sentence
a rosebush infested
crawling with
depraved lions
masked in solitude

and then the pounce

the way
boiling a *** of water
brings a blizzard

the way
a twig snaps underfoot
in the dead of night

the way
a clenched jaw
met a quiet tongue
at a cafe
called each other
red
dead
underfed
and one to another said

where do we go?

So I just sat there and stared at the stars as the clouds rolled in to take it all away.
I saw it crumble apart in my hands, paralysed, yet so moved. There was nothing I could do,
I saw the fear in your eyes, a fear I'd never seen before, just as like in the realm of my nightmares.
Nightmares that plagued my mind, these nightmares showed such relevance to the thoughts
I've conducted like a symphony.

When you look in the mirror
And sorrow looks back
The sobs of unworthy
Your body will rack
As tears of regret
Fall through the air
Weight of consequence
More than you can bear
The hate inside you
Ripping out
The distress that blinds you
Fills you with doubt
Doubt in the world
that left you to rot
Doubt in the people
Who love you or not

Tragedy turns you
Cold as stone
And tragedies plural
Will leave you alone
As dark overshadows
All light in your soul
It makes you abandon
Your greatest goal
All hope that you find
Will seem dark and demeaning
Life, in itself
Will lose all its meaning
It'll mock you today
And will mock you tomorrow
The mirror that showed you
All of your sorrow...

In a tornado of flags and smudged faces
You carry a white rifle
It twists and slithers around your neck
Your torso
Your legs
Swift as a snake
You're a blur of grey and black
Barefoot and pale as dawn
As papery and long as a willow tree
Spinning and twirling
Graceful and strong
You dance amongst the women
But you're stronger than most men
Then in unision
You all fall in a heap on the floor
Legs twisted in your flags
Completley still
They eye of the storm has never been more beautiful

The inner storm,
The calamity within...
The rumble,
The bang,
The drop of a pin.
The ringing in my ears,
That never would stop.
The boiling,
The melting,
The breakdown,
The pop.

A break in the clouds,
Let in rays of sunlight.
A new sense of normal,
Where all wrongs seem so right.

In memory of me
The dying thing called me
Wandering the world in utter distess

I ask that if I fall
You do not step on me
For so many times it's happened, i confess

In memory of me
Who longs to cry but has no tears
Whose fears come to reality each day

I beg you to see me
For invisible I am still
And the memory of me is fading away

I sit and wait
Wait for this mental suffering to end
For someone to tell me it'll all be okay
That someone doesn't come
The thoughts do
You can end it all
You're pathetic
Worthless
No one cares
But I know I shouldn't end it
I want an eternity, though I know I don't deserve it
But how do I escape this?
And there's my familiar friend
Sitting next to me
Beckoning me
To press his blade into my skin
To make my mental pain physical
To make myself bleed
I pick him up
And listen to him
I let out a few sobs
As my blood runs down my arm
But I quickly shut up
Someone might hear
I wipe my tears and blood away
Walk out of the bathroom
And smile through my pain.;