i forced myself to write something
so just a few drops
i found myself in crosswords
until that doors are closed
i exhaust myself for a few syllables
until that time i reach you
i jumped from line to line
i fell down and got shot
now anger pushes me below..

Everyone has baggage
A suitcase from the past
It's how we choose to deal with it
That decides if it will last
Me - I have a steamer trunk
Bursting at the seams
Full of bits & pieces
Broken hearts & shattered dreams
Stuffed full of self objection
Self criticism & blame
Cloaked in dust & cobwebs
You can barely see my name
But now I shall unpack it
From the attic of my mind
Pull it out into the light
From the place it's been consigned
The lock is old and rusted
Battered from the sea
From the ashes of emotions
But I have a brand new key
And so I delve into its depths
Retrieving from the embers
Fragments of my past - that
It hurts me to remember
Old books, cassettes & letters
Hankies soaked with tears
The crumbs of old injustice
The mammoth bones of fear
I lay them out around me
And soak up all the pain
Seeing them with new eyes
Before I shut the lid again
Lurking in the darkness
Hidden underneath the rope
That I put there once to end it
Is a polished gem of hope
I grab it with both hands
Clasp it tight against my breast
This tiny piece of energy
Undetected in the chest
I shall put it in my pocket
And stroke it when I'm down
When my world closes in on me
It will soothe away my frown
Because now I own my baggage
It's no longer in the past
I have hope, self love & guidance
And this is set to last
Be un afraid my friends
Of those suitcases of old
That weigh you down, drag you along
Sheathed in grime & mould
Unpack them & rejoice my friends
Find the hope submerged inside
And love yourselves, like others do
And do it - with a sense of pride

(C) Pixievic 2016

This is me
An embroidered creature cobbled together from fragments of history
Radiant
Brilliant
Bouncing around in this abnormality we refer to as life
Always seeking answers to questions that have yet to be asked
Unrestrained
Uncontrolled
Tirelessly looking for a way in
Chasing the wind over barren landscapes with threadbare trees waiting for sun kissed days - to be
Reborn
Rediscovered
A mythical being
Lost in legend with the remoteness of one long forgotten
Never finding myself
Forever locked in eternal seclusion
Waiting
Anticipating
Praying to unseen Gods for guidance who listen with deaf ears
Surrounded by happiness built on the fragile foundations of youth
Observing
Alert
Trying to find my own way
Of just being
Just being ....
Just being - me

(C) Pixievic 2016

Palms overhead sway,
nudged by the occasional breeze.
The chatter crescendoes
before dying down...
To make way for the call of prayer.

It called to its followers.
So calm...
So sincere...

People hunched over their tables.
Savouring delights that came on plates.
Wafting aromas,
mingle like the swirls on candy.
Drenching our senses...
As we immerse ourselves further
in such good company.

I looked at the eyes that surrounded me...
Only soft, kind gazes greeted back.

There are no shadows here...
No silhouettes...
Only faces I know
generous with their gift of glow.

A rising warmth
emanates from the pits within.

In this here circle,
no matter how motley,
I feel alive.
I'm drinking up to a stupor...
This lovely band of five.

She hides her smile
behind black lipstick.
Her voice is low
and in between.
She smells of loneliness
and cigarettes.
She sings for me
when she is high.

She gets me higher
than I can go.
She takes me low
and in between.
Her heart's on fire
when she sings.
Her voice is smokey,
full of pain.

She sings of loneliness
and broken dreams.
Her dance is low
and in between.
She gets me high
and lets me down.
She kisses me
with black lipstick.

r ~ 4/29/14