N e v a: Poems

Feb 2015 · 577

N e v a Feb 2015

Life never had sweet happy endings They was bittersweet such as your poisonous lips Whenever we kissed it soothes, calms my nerves. A drug to never be played with; you leave me high craving your love Your touch is an everlasting. sin leaving me with temptation to let you in.

Was I foolish to run back to you or am I right to never be your fool again? When there’s no other place to run to, I find you here at a stand still. My heart beats heavily for you ever since we separated. These tears cried out in the utmost sorrow as you left Your absence had left me in a mess, the blow plummeted me into fragments of my old self coming anew.

These pieces was razor sharp and cracked to the sensitive touch. It did take awhile to fix the together and start brand new But all I see now is you. They call me foolish for believing in you but who else shall I go to?

Everyone have someone they desire and mine happen to be you

. I wanted to love you again for better or worse no matter what anyone says Gossip is rather toxic; anyone can be burned when it splashed their way.

Don’t leave me behind. The memories of us is resurfacing in my eyes again.

The innocent joys, our gracious laughs and the comfort your hand relieved the pain in my own. Would you destroy all we had together? I could not stay away…
not at all. I was never one to leave this alone. I have to see you for one last time. Catch me before I fall. I am foolish for you

#love #heartbreak #sad #heartbroken

Feb 2015 · 834

Fading away

N e v a Feb 2015

Fading away

As the sun sets, with it's fading glow; I cannot stop but think, Is this all there is to the life of a man; Or is it the dark that is truly the beginning. A dim flickering light Blinks it's last goodbye Not going out with a flash But instead slowly fading away Just like my passion For everything.

I once enjoyed And endless dark Covering my only love The art has disappeared And my heart has gone No passion flows No interest grows A sickening depression Takes away the passion Fading like a light.

I fear That it is gone forever not even writing could pull this heart together again This emptiness won´t allow me to see past this clouds of fear, of anger Faith in hope is all lost, not belonging, there’s only rust.

Tired, vanishing within these walls hides the growing question of solitude Rename, reappear, reset, another heart and it shall bring no regrets I can feel it in my bones, this rusting heart that simply no longer grows It’s stuck, poisoned in memories of what could have been, what he had seen Fear to feel that for one fight, he faced his fragile fabric of fantasies fading from himself.

Madness muttering mostly merciful and painful memoirs of that month he met the perfect other for his match. Trying to feel the true touch of her toxic naked body trying to tempt him, talking to him through the timeless tales in her skin. Though not even writing could pull this heart together again.

Feb 2015 · 572

Heartbroken

N e v a Feb 2015

Heartbroken

You broke my heart

Leaving it to fall to the ground and shattering from impact.

You destroyed me, broke me.

And you didn't even care.

But that's okay, I'll fix the pieces and put them back together.

I'm a fool,

For even falling for you.

#heartbreak #sad #heartbroke

Feb 2015 · 13.0k

Stars

N e v a Feb 2015

Stars

Stars fall from my eyes

Feeling like an empty void

Where existence is none

Stars slowly fading away

Into the opaque night.

I wonder why..

Do I feel so alone?

Actually, this is kinda random and came from the top of my head.

#alone #stars

Nov 2013 · 392

What is real and what is fiction.

N e v a Nov 2013

What is real and what is fiction.

A mouth can tell lies.
An eye can tell the truth.

Oct 2013 · 423

Behind these walls

N e v a Oct 2013

Behind these walls

They watch the world,
with open eyes.
They haunt the world,
with an open mind.
They see you move,
as you live in this world.

But behind these walls,
lies a deep dark universe.
One where the light can't shine through.
A world where they lurk,
they play and hide.
Behind these walls, there's a world inside.

If you dare to look,
or even hear.
Go ahead face your fear.
You'll join this world,
one cruel day.
So sad it'll be...
But they can't hear you say...!

Behind these walls,
lies a deep dark universe!
One where the light can't shine through!
A world where they lurk,
and play and hide...
Behind these walls, there's a world inside.......

Oct 2013 · 748

Shattered Pieces

N e v a Oct 2013

Shattered Pieces

Inside my sleeve, I pull out my heart,
handing it to you, "careful it's fragile,
and easily falls apart."

Extending your arms, you take the heart in
your tender warm hands.
It falls into a million shattered pieces - on
the floor it lands.

You begin to bend down to pick it up, sorrow and
sadness in your eyes.

Apologies are not enough.

Looking at you with tears in my eyes,
I ask you not to pick up the pieces of a heart
that has fallen apart.

I am the one who needs to pick up the pieces of
my shattered heart - one by one, piece by piece.

I need to put it together again, some how. some way.

Each piece of my heart has a memory so true.
Each piece of my heart has part of you.

You are the one who is leaving to start a new lease on life.
I'll just be here on my knees picking up the pieces of a
heart that feels like it's being pierced with a knife.

All my tears won't keep you near
All my tears won't mend what's not here.

Again I look at you with a whisper in my voice,
The only way my heart will mend and finally be complete,
is if you and I can come together without being discreet.
You see, what we have here and today, helps me face the
world, with a love for you that gives a glow -
but now, my darling, you made a choice.

My heart is on this floor, shattered and broke.
With each piece I pick up -
I need to learn to let go.

Oct 2013 · 775

Alone

N e v a Oct 2013

Alone

I'm tired of these lonely nights.
I just want it to end.
Simple words, or complacaited.
cannot describe how I'm feeling.
There is no one who understands.
No one shares this pain, this absenceof happiness, this great devoid loneliness.
And no one knows that I'm feeling this.
No one realizes that i'm slipping into my madness.
What would happen?
If people knew. What if i tell someone?
Would they listen? No.
It wouldn't matter anyway. You, sheet of paper, white with such straight blue lines, are my only friend.
I spill myself onto you.
You know all of my pain and sorrow and heartache.
You, you are the only thing fit to judge me.
And that is too fine.
As harsh as i judge myself.
I can't imagine me from the outside.
I cannot imagine the brutality that could only come from you, my love.
My only true love, my true savior.
And still there is another.
There is another who has shown me her love.
But I could not, without great repercussions,
Write hondreds of thousands of millions of words upon her flesh.
And i miss her, For her absence
Must be (What could it be?) the source of this loneliness.
Not this everlasting agony and in my soul,
no.
She is the only one to come close to you.
She is the only one with the capabilities, the patience to east my hurt.
And now i must go, for she has to come to relieve this lonly feeling.
Farewell, my true outlet.

Oct 2013 · 497

The monster within

N e v a Oct 2013

The monster within

Ten thousand forgotten souls,

a shadow lurking in the background.

I am caged inside walls of darkness and evil.

Who will release me from my shackles of pain and sorrow?

I wonder who the atrocious and beastly creature is.

Divine, yet so fiercely courageous.

The fear itself is getting to me,

I must face this entity.

The horror of silence is deadly,

the brute becomes ashy and pale from the full moon.

It’s fierce howl shrieks terror,

bringing mortality to even the most immortal.

It has brought misery and torment to countless before us,

an unspeakable horror so as if it were death itself.

A glance in the mirror only to see the monster approaching me,

but the sun rises, the moon goes down, and the monster with it.

A glance down and a glance back to realize,

the monster is never gone, for it lives inside me.

I am evil and I bring terror,

I am a fiend eternally.

A tear shed for the pain I have brought,

and another for the pain I am about to bring.

I am forever a monster,

cursed to deliver hate from alpha to omega

Oct 2013 · 818

Love of music

N e v a Oct 2013

Love of music

It's a lonely road upon which i travel
and i know not what lies ahead
uncertainty waits around every bend
each twist and turn fills me with dread

i was once sure-footed, making this journey
there were signs and markers along the way
i've lost my compass and companion
and can't distinguish night from day

more arduous are the hills and valleys
while every stride seems twice as long
within my words i still find comfort
but i've lost the music to my song

the melody drove me to madness
when you stopped singing harmony
you lost the meaning of music
so, now, who will accompany me?

somewhere a song is being sung
just longing for that kindred voice
and should i find that perfect note.
i'll sing along...for i have no choice

perhaps someday two paths will cross
whose travlers shall sing as one
melody and harmony converging perfectly
to beautiful to ever be undone

we'll put together our words and music
then, two halves a whole, we'll sing along
and we will walk this path harmonious
completeing each other...completing our song

but for now i walk this empty road
at times i write, other times i still sing
not knowing when i'll hear the voice of love
all along the way i'll be listening.

Oct 2013 · 481

That feeling

N e v a Oct 2013

That feeling

Do you know that feeling?
That feeling of doubt?
or that feeling of depression?
I know, it's like something that kills you from the inside.
But you can't tame it or make it behave.
But there's that one person that makes it all go away.
She brings the happiness to my life.
She brings everything that i ever wanted.
But....She was just using me.
And then...Everything shattered.
My sanity is drifting away.
Now all you can call me is insane..or even mad.
The darkness is my only savior now.

— The End —