this will

this will make a difference
this will make a worldly difference
and in this

this is what will make this
earth shake
quiver and break the surface
this will-

this will make peaks and plains
this will make valleys and run rivers
like veins as tributaries
this will-

this will flood the brain with
rushing gushing thoughts
this will be touching spots of
grey matter and places we thought
never mattered
this will-

this will make a difference
this will make all the difference
and leave footprints where the sand won't wash away the imprints brought on by the tides
this will-

this will,
this will change lives.

the words of
a lie
were true.

they truthed
uncertain territories
backtracking forwards
through the blurred
clarity of certainty

the words of
a truth
were untrue

and they too
believed facts which
made fallacies
masks and surfaced this-

these ties twisted
into lies so they created
straight lines
geometrically

doing the undone
connecting synapses
making constellations
for mapping the brain

asymmetrically, star gazing
blindly when similarity
fades boldly, what is
indifferent to the the same

what is more contradicting
than comparing
the insane to the sane?

yet this tangible diversion
is simple and complex
in validity

and so. truth be told.

a lie to be,
is a truth to me.

a truth for me,
is a lie to be

wake the **** up
as if apathy is
more than half of me
casually this takes lives

and I'm another common casuality
"the poor me" type of tragedy

no you're sleeping
yeah you wish you were just dreamin
sittin on cloud 9
passin time with time

I'm trying to find the type of
"showin up for life"
kind of mentality
I want to exchange these flames for a halo

no you're not sleeping
wake the **** up
yeah you wish you were dreamin
I'm running out of patience
wake the **** up

next year I might be 23
not much to show for all of it
dually noted- I want to make a difference
so I'll have no regrets when I'm lying
on that bed losing consciousness and dyin

but I'm alive now right?
I must have meaning
but feels like
where ever I am
sunshine or snow

all the seasons go
I guess I was in it
- into some *******, for all the
wrong reasons

it's always the reasons
and reasons
are just masked excuses
I don't understand your language
HUH?

speak the **** up
and stop it
get the **** up
stop drowning is self doubt
just stop it
pick yourself the **** up
stop this

no you're not sleeping
wake the **** up
yeah you wish you were dreamin
I'm running out of patience
wake the **** up

above the city
contemplating the ideation of love
drinkin brews on the skyline
cradling the universe in my palm
I'm not home but I am worldly
as this is mine

what I love about traveling
is that there is the option
an option to question life
that pondering on how forgiveness takes time
that resentment and irresponsibility
may not ever be forgiven
it is unfortunately untimely

that in all honesty,
not all can heal according
to ones hourglass

be patient
this world is all we get
there is not reset button
the chances- we get one

so if we question the potential of the world
why not question ourselves?
are we accountable?
have we already assumed our problems
our mistakes that vindicate who we are?

are we love?
do we use love as self defense instead of
a weapon as we wish?
how do we save each other knowing
that love is not a weakness
but the strength within us to reveal

our darkest secrets and our
lightest atonements
how do we tell the world that we want it?
and that we want the world to want us?

like, we the people
want the world wants us
like we
want the world.

you've left a footprint
in my mind.
/
you've left behind
the traces of the past
the memories
and a concave
wave
/
leaving curvatures
creating
those permanent
steps
across the
expanse of
my brain
/
upon the
landscaped
planes
valleyed
peaks
/
and the blood
vessel'd tributaries
/
I felt you flowing
in my veins-
within me
/
without me
inside upstream
outside downstream.
/
the currents quiet. the tides subside.
/
you've left a footprint,
in my mind.

/
I think you'd be
impressed
with the old
pieces
Ive kept
/
it’s a residual
effect. this left
consistent motion.
similar to erosion
/
changing, rearranging-
kind of like continental
drift.
but sometimes
there wasn’t any motion
just slow motion
/
but some emotions
picked up on all
four seasons
/
breathing an air of cold winter.
once sinister,
brought pure laughter.
the sun luminescent mirroring my skin
came spring and summer
/
I spread
em’ wings
-to be the bird
I’d always wanted to be
  /
peaceful.
unleashed.
free.
  /
riding the air.
it's the best
feeling-
being alive
to be redefined, unconfined.
/
you've left a footprint
in my mind
/
I was too blind and
  I’ll never
forget this
  /
I just
  felt the need
to disappear with
no dusted prints behind
though...
/
and so I crept out
the back
door slow.
/
because it didn't
feel like those
“traditional” goodbyes.
  /
wasn't chiseled in stone.
engraved in bone.
/
no handshake
no promise
we didn’t see-
eye to eye.
/
kind of equally analogous
to the sun rising
into the earth
/
  chaos turned
  to clarity.
-I left.
but I strived with
/
cold sweat,
with every stride
with every step
/
and the regret I carry
is something
I will never forget.
/
I was climbin’
to the top of
Mt. Everest.
/
except without you,
I fell off the grid.
it was all
plate tectonics
/
my world is
spinning off its axis.
and I haven't been
the same
since.
/
but it gives me a
hopeful glimpse-
when I'm lookin up
at those stars
  /
feels like bright day
in the middle of
night.
/
I’d like to
think you’re
lookin’ at the
  same stars
  /
wherever you
might be.
I hope you’re looking at
that same sky.
/
you've left
behind a
                       footprint
                              
   forever
in my mind.

When love says
“this bond is timeless”
as years are measured
out in decades
plus.

weighted by
the bond founded
upon unbreakable
trust.

love says forever
love has no track
of time, a clock watch,
or a calendar

love needs no
reminder for
everyday spent
together.

when love says,
“10, 20, 50 years from
now I will still hold you.”
faithfulness is kept
near.

After all this “time,”
without rhyme, nor reason
with the passage of
each four seasons

I will keep you
close to me,
Love sings-

“I envy the way
your ribcage cradles
your heart.
my hand
your hand
palms pressed
as lovers,
as they never will
part.”
and -

This is,
what
Love Says.

would you shoulder the hurt and fight the demons?
seems to quiet the hell
takes that pain away
except it's only momentarily

why?
why?
because I want to grow some wings
and fly

yet they might be clipped
so what lies above me whatever higher power is out there
sweet power I ask of thee
stop the suffering
put an end to me and give me peace

why?
why?
because I want to grow some wings
and fly

I know all of this is slowly killing my memory
destroying everything
for good reasons maybe
to shield me from the truth

I use what I find from what
every woman man and child has
left behind
to rebuild a heavenly shrine

why?
why?
because I want to grow some wings
and fly

there must be a reason that I still exist
for every slice of the wrist
hanging noose dangling loose waiting
but I'm alive and some day I will be free

if I wasn't meant for anything
then they would have killed me
there must be a reason I still breathe
I'll embrace myself love myself and
Ima do my best to accept reality

why?
why?
because I want to grow some wings
and fly

I'm afraid I don't have the tools to
rebuild a new me
life doesn't always turn out
how it's planned to be

but aside of what's been handed to me
I know I'm the only one who can bring happiness to let it be
I know I'm the only one
who can set me
free...