Why do I feel so alone?
Why do I hate being in this home?
Why do I Just want to run away?
Why do I wish I would just die today?
Why do I keep people out?
Why can't I say a word when I'm trying to shout?
Why do I hide myself from people?
Why do I feel like this for no reason?
Why can't I feel happiness?
Why do I see only darkness?
I try to open up but I feel like no one hears me
I try to speak up but I feel like no one cares for me
I try to let people in but them I can't see
I just feel so lost I forgot who I'm trying to be
Why do I sit alone in the dark?
Why do I feel like I don't have a heart?
Yet when some one asks how I'm doing I say I'm okay
Lost in my head no black and white only gray
Why does everyone say I'm so blessed?
Yet I only feel so depressed

You ever just sit there and watch your girl get ready?
Just there, admiring her beauty
Or when you're in bed and hear her breathing
While you stare at the ceiling
And all you can think of is how lucky you are
Finding someone that shines brighter than any star
Someone that gives you that natural high
Making you feel like you can pass the sky
Gives you an adrenaline rush
With just a single touch
Some that can make you happy
That can make you smile without even trying
Someone that seen you at your weakest moment
And still loves you, even tho you're so broken
Someone who has accepted your past
And still tells you "my love, you will always have"
Someone who believes in you more than you do
Someone who isnt afraid to tell you what's true
Someone who can put aside your faults and flaws
Your imperfections and broken laws
That can break down the walls
Someone that got through
And sees the good in you
Someone that gives you meaning
Someone that gets in your feelings
An angel that can save you from your demons

I saw you, yeah I see you
In the gray, you came out of the blue
I'm so lost
But I had to get you, at any cost
Spent hours and days
Trying to see you in any way
Just want to make you happy
I'll give you all of me

I saw you, yeah I see you
I just wanted you to see too
And I knew you where starting to get to my head
Looked at you and said
Dont start what you can't finish
But you never listen
Yeah I'm so scared of losing you
But I'll be fine alone, I'll get through

I cared for you, yeah I still do
I'm still here for you, yeah it's true
I wish nothing but the best for you, you deserve it
And I'll admit, I still got love for you, a little bit
I just wanted to make you happy
But I was the one you couldn't see
I gave you the best of me but don't get it twisted
You didn't get the best of me, there's a difference

I wanted you, yeah I thought I needed you
How much I cared, you knew
And all that I gave to you
I'm a find someone new and give it to her too
You hurt me but you didn't break me
I've felt hurt before, so I know how it can be
I just hope nothing for the best for you
And hope you get everything you've been wanting too

I began to lose sight of who I was
Everything just fading away in the dust
I began to question everything about life
And I felt as if I began to die on the inside
Angry at the world without a reason
Agreeing with my demons
But then you came into my world
Just a small girl
But made the biggest impact on my life
And now I'm trying to make you my wife
You gave me my vision back
And I know I'm not perfect, there's a lot I lack
But for you, I'm trying to be a better man
To make you happy, I'll do everything I can
My dreams began to die
Now my dreams are to make your dreams come true, no lie
You're what I have been looking for
And everyday I want you more and more
You are the woman of my dreams
You showed me there's a lot more than what it seems
You got me thinking about you 24/7
And every second spent with you is heaven
It's you
Only you
I want you
Yes it's true
Believe me when I say "I love you"

At night I can't sleep
Even if I count sheep
Tossing and turning
But all I feel is the pain that is hurting
You had me believing I was the one for you
I told you nothing but the truth
I had my issues of letting people in from before
So I don't know how you got through that door
And the same door you came in from
You decided to turn around and walk out of
For you, I tried to give everything
For you, I would've done anything
I gave you all of my time
You where my light with a special shine
So now here I am with nothing left to give
And it's starting to feel so hard to live
It's hard to breathe
But I hide it all underneath
With a smile on my face to cover up my lies
Hyperventalating at night with tears in my eyes
It's like it was a dream and I just woke up
Maybe I just wasn't good enough

Let's run away for a day or two
No one else just me and you
We can do everything you like
Let me treat you right
Everything will be alright

I've felt the pain of losing love
And trying to get through it is rough
But we learn to live with the pain
It never gets easier, it still hurts the same
Sometimes it feels worse
It always hurts
But we learn to live with the pain
And we always feel like we're to blame
And then we close everyone out
Trying to talk but no one can here us shout
But we learn to live with the pain
It still drives us insane
Years can pass and it'll still feel the same
Like taking a knife and cutting our vain
And letting our love drain
.
.
.
.
.
But we learn to live with the pain

My boy told me "don't let it get to you
I know it's hard but you'll pull through
And I know it's driving you insane
And at times it's hard to maintain
We're all humans, we all feel pain
But from the pain we learn and gain
I've been there before, I've felt the same
And I get it, it's on repeat going over and over in your brain
Feeling like you're losing control
Feeling like you lost your soul
Just give it some time to heal
I know exactly what you feel
My ***** you've been through worse!
My ***** you ain't cursed!
I know you're better than this, you're much stronger!
The pain won't last much longer"

I'm going out every night
Why did we even fight?
What was it about?
All I remember where the shouts
But I'm trying to forget you
But I see you in everything I do
Who didn't love who?
I was all in
But maybe this was suppose to end
Now here I am by myself
Feeling like I'm going through hell
Putting my heart in a dark cell
I ain't gonna lie, I miss you
Do you miss me too?
I told you you're all I want
The memory of you still haunts
But you weren't honest
And I didnt speak up on what this is
We where scared
And that bond we had, began to tear
When you needed me the most, I wasn't there
But is this really fair?
I work long hours
While you where alone crying in the shower
Maybe we both had our reasons
Maybe it was only part time, just for the season
Do you miss me?
At night, you're all I see
Your in my dreams
Put you on that pedestal and made you my queen
I miss your affection
But I didn't give you the attention
Was I giving enough?
I'm not the one that gave up
Was it suppose to end like this?
I just can't act like you didn't exist

You see that man standing on the wall
Acting tough, thinking he's tall
He got a gun with 2 grams in his pocket
That old lady got 5 keys for her door just to unlock it
Scared someone gonna break in and steal her gold lockets
That's the corner where my boy got shot and passed away
That house they raided, took my other friend the next day
That house has been shot more then we can count
This is the place they make hood movies about
In these streets you can pray for the Lord but he can't hear
It's been a daily routine, there's no more fear
They broke into my neighbors house and stabbed him
Only to steal his car for his rims
I've seen mothers cry
I've seen sons and daughters die
I've seen fathers lie
Saying they'll come home before the sun rise
But instead get a call saying they're not coming home
Saying their last goodbyes over the phone
Every night you can hear gun shots or sirens
Around here, there is no silence
It's a place where people struggle to survive
Where inocent kids get caught in drive-bys
It's where it's rare to see someone pass 25
Where dreams never stay alive
It's a life we try to run from and hide
That's what it's like growing up on the south side

My past molded me into who I am
Like a clam that made a pearl with just a grain of sand
It took years to curve my edges
Like the water in a river, eroding the rocks over ages
I've traveled dark roads that have broke me
Walking in darkness, not being able to see
I've felt love and lost it
Lost sight of who I was and thought I should quit
A sinner from the first day of birth
The pain from my past still hurts
And though I'm not perfect
I'm just trying to get life correct
Still not a saint but success is my new project
And the ones with me I'll never neglect
From growing up with nothing
I'm a give them everything
My day 1s know I'll ride for them
Our lives are going to be better from what we had back then
There is nothing that can stop me
I got tunnel vision and success is all I see
Free my family from poverty
Free my friends from authority
Free myself from ornery
The future isn't ready for the new me

What if those are the last words you'll get to say to me?
Would you be satisfied with them?
What if that is the last time you see me?
Would you be satisfied with it?
What if this is the last letter I wrote to you?
Would you even read it?
What if this is the last time you hear my name?
Would you even feel any pain?
I cared for you but can you say the same?
Or was all this just a game?
What if I leave and never came back?
Would you look for me, try to find where I'm at?
Would you cry for me?
What if this isn't how it's ment to be?
What if I'm suppose to be yours and you're suppose to be mine?
What if we missed that sign?
What if we where suppose to take that chance?
What if I did fall for you at first glance?
What if there is a reason that we met?
What if we aren't done with each other yet?
Would you believe I'm suppose to be with you?
Or is it hard for you to believe it's true?
Is it hard for you to sleep at night?
What if you where wrong and I was right?
But I guess we'll never find out will we?

Life is beautiful
Not perfect but we all have our own rituals
We wake up and do what we got to do
How far we'd get from where we once where who'd knew
But there is still along way we got to go
And what life will bring us we will never know
But life is beautiful
There are so many things we got to learn about it still
Every day is a new experience
A lot more than what we knew back then
We were only kids
Just having fun even if they where sins
Life is beautiful
But at the same time it can be so cruel

I woke up this morning to your smell
Why did you put me through ******* hell
Thinking you where still there
But you're gone, and it's not fair
Walking out the house and I heard you whisper my name
But it didn't sound the same
So I turned around
Then there was no sound
I gave you all of me
But for some reason I'm the one you couldn't see
I did everything for you
But with me, you couldn't just be true
So I don't understand why you left
Now I have all this pain in my chest
You made me feel so worthless
You made me feel so ******* useless
You just picked up and disappeared
No closure just walked out, why aren't you here?
Why wasn't I enough?
This is why I ******* hate falling in love
I was always honest with you but you weren't the same
So tell me who's the one to blame?
Did you even care for me?
Or where you just using me?
I told you, you where the only one I see
You said the same, so how could this be?
It happen so quick, so he was always there
Now the pain I feel is to much to bear
I knew I never should have let my guard down
Broke me into a million pieces and left me on the grown

I thought you where my "happily ever after"
But you ended up being the worst disaster
I gave you everything I had to offer
And you took it all and stood there watching me suffer

Why do I feel so alone?
Why do I hate being in this home?
Why do I Just want to run away?
Why do I wish I would just die today?
Why do I keep people out?
Why can't I say a word when I'm trying to shout?
Why do I hide myself from people?
Why do I feel like this for no reason?
Why can't I feel happiness?
Why do I see only darkness?
I try to open up but I feel like no one hears me
I try to speak up but I feel like no one cares for me
I try to let people in but them I can't see
I just feel so lost I forgot who I'm trying to be
Why do I sit alone in the dark?
Why do I feel like I don't have a heart?
Yet when some one asks how I'm doing I say I'm okay
Lost in my head no black and white only gray
Why does everyone say I'm so blessed?
Yet I feel so depressed

I see you and you see me
But together we just can't be
You said you want to be just friends
But how long will that last till it ends?
Your holding on to the past to decide your future
I'm letting go of mine because I use to be a loser
We where happy when we where together
To me there was no feeling better
I made you laugh I made you smile
You gave me a feeling I haven't felt in a while
You became my muse
I became your disabuse
I showed you something that no other man did
I brought out that person in you that you always hid
You had me talking about my secrets I've kept
I don't know how you did it but my safe you cracked
But I know who you are too
And for your son there's nothing you won't do
I admire your motive to give him your all
Believe me when I say I'll be there to never let you fall
But you said you want to be just friends
How long will that last till it ends?
Still I get lost in your eyes
To you I just can't lie
You took my pain away
I thought about you everyday
Your mind is so intriguing
I just want to kiss you under the stars shining
And you where happy every time I came around
I had you feeling like you where floating off the ground
I just wanted to let you know that you are special
I wanted to show you that you're full of potential
I wanted you to feel like a queen
I was ready to be your king
And whenever you where feeling down
I was the one you'd call to come around
I hated seeing you without a smile on your face
I'd hold you and tell you let me take you away from this place
Let me show you that everything will be okay
Because come tomorrow with me, it'll be a better day
But maybe I used you as a distraction
To block the pain from my past actions
Then you said you wanted to be just friends
How long will that last till it ends?
Because just friends I can't be

I'm awake laid up in this bed
And you're the only one running through my head
And this girl laying next to me isn't you
I'm still wishing on a star for my dream to come true
That one day it'll be you and me
But it seems like that dream will never be
You got me on your hook
If only this was a love story like in a book
Where our lives have a happily ever after
Where it's me and you and nothing else will matter
We leave our past where it belongs
And finally forgive ourselves for our wrongs
So we start something new
Something great for just me and you
I love your laugh I love your smile
I love the sweet melody of your voice that drives me wild
But I just can't figure out why we can't be together
You are what I want you are what I treasure
But I'm not what you want
And the thought of you started to be my haunt
The feeling of not having you began to hurt
So the feelings that I have for you I try to divert
So I'm laid up in this bed next to another girl
Just not the one I see as my pearl
You're the only one on my mind at 2 a.m.

Before you came into my life
All happiness inside me had began to die
Than you came out the blue
Resurrected what I thought would never be true
Brought that feeling back in me
And I just don't know how that could be
You forced your way in
How did you get under my skin?
But I'm glad you did
There's no one out there like you I'll admit
And I'm not afraid to tell you how I feel
Without you knowing, you helped me heal
You took away the pain
Washed it all away like the rain
But then you said you only wanted to be just friends
I was afraid to lose you so I said yeah but this will soon end
I don't know how to win you back
Those words hurt and then everything went black
Afraid to give it a chance because of someone from the past
But you started this, I was just trying to make it last
At the start we where both all in
Then it was just me, now I'm wondering what happened
**** this ****
That's why I don't let anyone close, I hate it
Where you just a lesson I needed to learn?
Or maybe you where a blessing I have yet to earn
The happiness you made me feel
It just all felt so unreal
That's why I didn't want to let go
But you ended it, now I just don't know
How long will this hurt?
Right now I just feel so subvert

The thought of you kills me
I don't know why you couldn't see
Blind from your past
You're the reason why we didn't last
I would have done everything for you
And you know everything I said was true
But someone from your past is your only reason
But your explanation I'm not believing
I cared for you some much
But you didn't want to give that last touch
Yeah I'm hurt how can I not be
You're the one that didn't want me
I gave you the benefit if the dought
But you're the one who ran out
I was your cure but you where killing me
Blinded by you and I couldn't see
I told you everything
I don't know why I opened up to you that's just not me
But you kept pushing and found your way in
At that point it was to late I didn't know what to do then
**** I hate what happened
I hate feeling this tragic
I'm sorry I wasn't the one for you
But just know I always thought about you too
We can't be just friends
This is where everything ends
I should have known from that start
I should have never let you in my heart
But I can't say anything bad about you
I had the best time with you, that's true

You'll give me a random call saying you miss me
And ask why I'm the one you never see
I'll answer back saying I miss you too
But there's a lot of things I need to do
Yeah we live in the same house
But I'm making moves I'm out and about
Trying to make a better life
I'm trying to reach a bigger height
I'm sorry you don't see me as much as you want
The thought of me disappearing is your haunt
You think I don't need you no more
Thinking you'll never again see me come through that door
But that's not true
In my life I'll always need you
But it's alright just stay calm
You got to remember Mom
I'm not trying to go back to my old ways
When I'm done everything is going to be okay

5 am and my mind is running wild
Since a youth I've felt like a demon child
Never really understood how life worked
But I know pain and how bad it can hurt
11 hour days at my job
She mad at me because I get no days off
She's feels neglected
This is unexpected
I'm working to fix myself
But I keep her out when she wants to help
I remember 15 years old selling drugs
My past memories beginning to bug
But I can't seem to let them go
Where I'm going in life I just don't know
But I do know I'm not where I once was
Miles away but people I still don't trust
If I could I'd give you the world
Please just wait, I'll let you in, be my girl
I put up a front at the start
Because I was afraid to let you see my heart
I'm just trying to figure out who I am
I'm just trying to figure out where I stand
Because in this life you'll get lost
And people will forget you and you'll get tossed
I never had someone to believe in me
So I was blind to the different opportunities
But girl believe me you're the only one I see
**** these other girls, you're the one I want it to be
But tell me am I just convenient to you?
Am I just a toy for you?
What do you feel for me? I want to hear what's true
I feel like your just playing
But what you really feel you're not saying
And if you don't talk I'm not staying
Don't worry you won't see me crying
I'm losing my mind
I need some kind of sign
I know you're worth it
But I feel like we ain't workin

ring ring *ring
-Hello....
-I'm about to **** this guy
And he already knows why
I got my gun pointed at his head
All I got to do is pull the trigger and he's dead
But why I called you I don't know
Now I'm a hang up and let you go
I don't want you to hear the sound of the shot
And after I'm done I'm out the spot
Maybe head up north for a while
Find a new city, start a new life, stop acting so wild
Or maybe I want you to say something to stop me
Tell me when you look at me what do you see?
Am I a sinner or a saint
I'm tired of having all this pain on my plate
They say god will never give you more than you can handle
But it seems like his hand slipped on me tho
Now here I am with my gun pointed to his head
Pull the trigger and he's dead
Lifeless
Blindness
Because I'm the guy that's laying dead
Put the gun to my own head
POW!!!
-...............hello
*beep *beep *beep *beep *beep

Call me an old fashion man
I like holding my girls hand
I like spending time together
Talking about how the day went and the weather
I like going out on dates
I don't care if you take food from my plate
I like holding her when she's cold
Let her know that I'm there to keep her warm
I like telling her how my day went
How she listens to me when I need to vent
I like to hear her voice
How when she sees me she feels rejoice
How she tells me her story about how she grew up
How she dresses her self and puts on her makeup
How she comforts me when I'm feeling down
But I hate to see her frown
I love to buy her flowers
Her favorites are sunflowers
I love to surprise her with gifts
Out of the blue just get her a teddy bear with ribbons
She loves how I open doors for her
I love to show her off everywhere
Present her as the center of attention
Let everyone know she's mine, it's all about presentation
I'm not afraid to show affection
When she's afraid, I'll be her protection
Call me old fashion
But my woman is my passion

Hello poetry
You've saved my life endlessly
Hello poetry
You've changed me unknowingly
Hello poetry
You moved into my life so quietly
I saw the paper laying there
Picked up a pen and it came to me like air
Just started writing down how I felt
What life threw at me and what I had dealt
You took the pain away
You helped me get through my roughest days
You brought me back my sanity
My life felt like it had no vanity
I was lost in the darkness of the night
Till I found that pen and paper that became my light
Hello poetry
You saved my life..... poetically

Reminiscing
How did you get in? Now you're the on I'm missing
Pictures of you on my phone
Without you, this place doesn't feel like home
Remember our first kiss?
Under the moonlight, it was bliss
You became my novocain
But how did it go south? Who's to blame?
I did everything for you
To you I was honest and true
Can you say you where the same?
All you really cared about was fame
Trying to make something of yourself
But I guess I was in the way, now I'm by myself
But we where so happy
We where always laughing
You said you loved when I came around
But you kicked me like a rock on the ground
Tell me did it hurt you as much as it hurt me?
When you close your eyes, is it me you still see?
Do you wake up thinking I'm still there?
Is the pain to much to bear?
We didn't leave it on bad terms
But I still wish you where here in my arms
We wanted to go places
But we had different plans different races
You wanted to go one way when I wanted to go another
But the bond between us was breaking under the covers
Everytime we spent together
Every second of it I will treasure
I was ment for you and you where ment for me
But I guess it was all just bad timing
Maybe we'll meet again in the future
And my love for you will still be there

I know you've had some rough times
I know you've been with some ungrateful guys
But with me you don't have to worry
You'll always come first, when you call I'll be there in a hurry
I know you're scared to let some one new in
I know your heart wants me but your head thinks I'm lyin
You're confused, don't know if you should break that wall
But I'm here to catch you, I'll never let you fall
I hate to see you down
I'll do anything to take away your frown
I promise I won't ever take you for granted
I'm not the type of guy to take advantage
I too know what it's like to hurt
But I promise give me a chance, I'll give you all my heart
We don't have to rush into this
We can take our time let's start with just a kiss
I'll do anything for you, all that it takes
I'll be by your side I'm not like those snakes
If I give you my word then you know it's real
I'll back them up with my actions, you know the deal
I'm not gonna run from this
You've become my bliss
Even when we fight
I'll do anything to make it right
You pushed me to make me go away
Yet I'm still here because I'd rather stay
Believe me I'm afraid too
But I'm all in because I want you......

Always and forever yours,
I

Mama calling me telling me she don't see me no more
Pops telling me if I don't want to stay here then just go
Sisters asking me where I've been
Friends saying I need to hang out with them
Grandpa wants me to visit him
This girl I'm with isn't even my girl
But every minute I get I give to her
Most of my time is spent at work not livin
Days off I'm running errands
But I miss all my family and friends
Trying to make time but it's not enough
Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck
Taking breaks alone just thinking to myself like ****
Sometimes I feel like I'm running out of luck
All this just to make a quick buck
But it's not worth it
In the end it's all just *******
I've been stressing a lot lately
I just been thinking to much maybe

Tell me why are you afraid
You kept trying to push me but I stayed
I know you don't want to let me go
But you're scared to let me know
I promise I'll always be here to catch you
I'll never let you fall, believe what I say is true
Yet it's hard for you to believe what I'm saying
But I'll prove to you I'm not playing
Take the chance and you'll see
That the person standing next to you will always be me
Let me break down your wall
Let me show you, I'll always be there when you call
I'll hold you up when ever you feel down
I just hate to see you with a frown
You say you're confused on what you're feeling
And I know from your past you're still healing
And maybe that's why I was sent to you
To help you get through
To show you what is real
Let me show you how I feel
I'm not like your ex
You deserve everything and nothing less
I'll do anything to make you happy, I give you my word
Let me give you the world
But if you want me to leave
Then what you wish you'll receive

You're mad at me for something I didn't do
But that ain't me and you know it's true
So what are you hiding?
Using an excuse to get mad at me
Tell me because I don't get what you are trying to say
Do you want me to go or do you want me to stay?
What is it that you feel?
With you I was always honest and real
If you want to leave that door is open
Just know if you walk out, that door starts closing
Why is it so hard for you to be honest?
Help me understand you and I won't hurt you I promise
I don't want to leave it like this
****, feeling like this gets me ******

I over think many things
If only I can fly away if only I had wings
Just staring at the sky
As you watch the birds fly by
Feeling the wind touching your skin
Trying to rid your sins
Listening to the air as it whistles
Laying on the grass as it bristles
The scent of the flowers all around
Listening to the mellow sounds
Lost in my mind
Imagination stuck in time
Lost in my thoughts but I'm not sleeping
The soothing sound has me day dreaming

Forgive me for my sins
I've don't a lot of bad things
Unnoticed actions taking place
No emotions shown only a blank face
Can't feel happiness can't feel love
But I dream of one day meeting my white dove
I now my actions from back then carved my future
I was a student while life was the teacher
Followed more the bad than the good
A young boy trying to make someone of himself in the hood
But it's to late now to notice the wrong already caused
Not the strongest believer in god
Every time I prayed I never got a sign
That's why I always thought they where lying
I've seen my mom crying
The devastation in her eyes of seeing her baby boy dying
All the emotions they are hiding
Nobody wants to be seen weak so they still trying
Hide behind blank faces the truth so horrifying
I'm more of a sinner than a saint but I'm still learning
And the the pain from the past is still hurting
To make everything right again I'll pay any cost
If you can't show me the way than forgive me for being lost

We are two people with broken hearts
Met at the worse time but that's how it starts
They say you are given what you need at your worse
I felt that I would always be alone like a curse
But then I found you
Let me know if you feel it too
I don't have everything but what I do have I'll give it all
I'm not the strongest man but I'll never let you fall
Not the richest man but I'll show you the world
Let me know what I got to do because I want you to be my girl
We both know what it's like to be broken
Used and abuse then thrown to the side like we aren't workin
You where starting to give up then you met me
There has to be a reason, there just has to be
Maybe I'm ment to take away the pain
Wash it all away just like the rain
Two broken spirits that are ment for each other
Just like Sally and Jack sewed together

You told me you wanted me
You told me you needed me
That's how you covered my eyes so I couldn't see
You told me you care
You told me you'd all ways be there
But as soon as he came back you disappeared
I gave you everything
For you I did anything
I gave you all my time
But I ignored all the signs
I didn't want to believe it
Now I'm here without ****
I feel so stupid
I'm not even sad I'm just so ******
I thought you where my lady
But I didn't see you where being shady
You weren't honest and I don't know why
And I just fell for your beautiful lie......

You fit in every where you go
But you're different, unique, and beautiful
If I put you in a bouquet, you'll be the first to get picked
In a crowded room that you have lit
You shine brighter then the sun
You are the center attention of everyone
Beautiful flower why are you all alone?
Beautiful flower you don't have to do it on your own
Beautiful flower I know you're strong
Beautiful flower your scent has me gone
You're not the same as these other flowers
You stand taller
You're not simple like a rose
And that's something everybody knows
But you don't want anyone
You just want one
Beautiful flower you're different
Wild flower you are magnificent

**** I feel so stupid
Why didn't I listen
Why did I let it get this ******* far
I knew it shouldn't have been this hard
I almost let you in
I should have learned from back then
I almost gave you my trust
But I was blinded by your lust
I had a feeling you where playing a ******* game
I had a feeling you didn't feel the same
This is why I don't ******* trust anyone
From the start I should have run
I shouldn't have let it get this far
But I gave you the benefit of the doubt at the start
I thought you where honest
Now I feel so ******* useless
What did he give you that I couldn't give?
You are some one now I just can't forgive
Was I not good enough?
Why wasn't I good enough?
I've lost all love
I just feel so stupid
Why didn't I listen?

Hi there
Here's my name and number call me if you dare
I'm looking at you and I got one thing in mind
How about we go somewhere and drink a little wine
I want to see you blush
But we can't get close this is just a small crush
Yeah I can talk that talk
And walk that walk
I'll buy you drinks all night
And when we alone I'm a make my move alright
I'll show you what it's like to be treated right
I'll make you feel like you're in the spot light
But this is a one night thing
This is a one time fling
I'm not trying to be your main
I'm just trying to see if you can handle the pain
Let me make your legs shake
We can do it fast or slow I don't care about how long it would take
I want you to feel nothing but pleasure
Just let lose there's no pressure
It's just 2 people having a good time
Because to me you look so fine

The night is just like us and still young
We been playing this game for to long
So how about we drink and have some fun
If you're looking for a body tonight I'll be that one
We can go back to your place
Where it's just the 2 of us face to face
And we can drink some more
Let's go to your room and close the door
Let me rip them cloths off you
And I'll take mine off too
Let's get on top of the bed
We'll have some fun like I said
Even if it's a mistake it's okay
Because we can forget about it come the next day
We both no there's nothing serious in this
Let's just see where we are headed with this kiss
I know you've had a long week
I'm just trying to make you're legs feel weak
Don't worry I'll treat you right
Just let me get in between your legs tonight
You no that liquor has you feeling good
And if you let me I'll do the same like I should
There's no string attached between us
So there's no reason to fuss
And we can go another round
So tell me girl are you down?

You been running through my mind all day
And when I'm with you I just want to stay
We neglecte each other
And it's so hard to stay together
They'll be days when I can face you
But then there's days where I got my back to you and it makes me feel blue
When I'm on top of you it feels so comfortable
Just laying there with you is so wonderful
I never want to leave
How much I need you, you just won't believe
But I got to go is what I keep saying in my head
So this is goodbye for now till tonight my dear bed

I mean I use to look into your eyes and feel safe
I mean I would always smile every time I saw your face
Cared about you more then I did for myself
But I never thought you would be bad for my health
I mean I would have done anything for you and you knew it was true
I mean I know you had more then a feeling for me too
You where to scared to let your guard down
But you always had a smile every time you saw me come around
I mean I was never able to take my eyes off you
I mean you where the center of my attention and you knew
So now you're acting like that kiss had no emotion
But even you knew there was so much passion
I mean maybe I just didn't have everything you wanted
I mean I just couldn't give you everything you needed
Ready to get down on one knee
But you didn't want me

Maybe I fell for you because we are the same
And we are both tired of playing others games
But you still saw the good in life
While I lost all hope when I saw my mom try to cut herself with that knife
But then I met you and it all changed
You showed me that I have been deranged
You came into my life when I needed you
And then you changed my whole view
Then you showed me there was a reason to still have hope
Told me with what life threw at me I had to cope
While I tried to hold it in and hide
You found your way in and showed me I had a stride
And for the first time in the longest I was happy
With you is where I wanted to be
But then it switched and you felt so alone
Told me to walk away and it would have been best if I never said "hello"
You told me your just an image just a fantasy
But you're not because I see more then what you are showing
I told you I cannot just forget you and what you've told me
Yet you still don't believe that you are all I see
So know I'm here to help you if you just put your guard down
Please let me in because it's killing me to see you frown
You have trust issues and the people from your past are to blame
We are two alike because we saw life the same

I'm not the type of person to show his emotions
But my feelings that I hold in have created explosions
I just want to let it all out
But I feel like I got no one to talk too it about
The girls I've truly cared for never cared for me
My family is blind to life's reality
I try so hard to move forward
But there's something that holds me back moving slower
I just want someone to lay it all out too
And I was hoping that that person would have been you
But i was wrong so I'll just shove it all back down
Cover it up with a smile never show a frown
But at night I feel like crying
While everything around keeps dying
I don't know how to save it all
Every piece begins to fall

What got my attention were her thighs
But what I fell for were her eyes
Looking at her lips
But her voices brings me bliss
She knows what it's like to struggle
That's why I know I can't lie and have to be loyal
And when I run my fingers through her hair
Ain't no place I'd rather be but here
While I touch her soft skin
I'm just wondering "where have you been?"
When I hold her hand I hold it tight
I don't want to let go because it feels so right
And when she kisses me I lose my mind
She got me hooked and blind
All I see is her beautiful face
I just want to stay in this place
But then I wake up in my bed
It was all just a dream in my head

She's asking me "Alan why are you so depressed?"
And I'll say "lifes a *****, the time we live in isn't the best"
Every night I'm getting a phone call
Saying someone I love is in the hospital
It's like I'm losing all my people
Karma is coming back to me and she's evil
No one standing next to me just the devil
Everything I touch falls apart I'm losing my mental
Funny how in a crowded place I'll feel so alone
But when I'm alone I feel so comfortable and at home
It's like I don't even have a circle anymore
Everyone has walked out and closed that door
Not even a look back to see if I'm ok
It's like from me they are just trying to get far away
Yet I won't show it to the world

She's looking and asking why
She's sad as she's trying not to cry
But she can't hold back her tears
Her worse nightmare her only fear
She remembers when you where small
How you would get up after every fall
Scraped knee and small scratches
And how you'd run to her for bandaids and patches
She'll kiss your cuts and brusies and make them feel better
But this one injury that she never be able to fix ever
She remembers all the times you told her you love her
And the times you told her you hate her
It hurt her but she knew it wasn't true
And through everything she still loved you
This might not be the same for every person
But when a mother looses a child they regret it because it wasn't worth it
The bond between a mother and child is like no other
It's not even the same between a child and a father
I'm sorry mama for the wrong I have done
I can't repair it so we just got to move on
Please don't be mad at me after tonight
Just know I didn't go out without a fight
But I'm not coming home tonight or tomorrow
This is the the end this is as far as I'll go
Tonight the devil caught me off guard
You lost a child tonight but you got to stay hard
Be strong mama don't break just yet
The things I did weren't always the best but there's nothing I regret
Just keep moving mama don't forget
You still have your life you're still set
But to lose a child is to lose a part of you
It's ok mama I'm with god so you still have to be you so stay true
And one day we'll see eachother again
And you'll be able to hold me in your arms like you did back then

I remember riding around in your vic when I was 3
Had me on your lap felt like I was driving, it felt so free
Your the reason why I'm so into cars
Going on late night drives just to look at the stars
I remember always being in your shop teaching me
Why does life have to be a ***** and not let things be
You we're my role model but your life was taken to early
Funny how things turn for the worse so suddenly
3 shots to the head
2 days later you were pronounced dead
I was only 16 when I lost my grandfather
Wasn't my mom's real dad but he played the role for her
And even to this day it still hits me every now and then
I wish I could talk to you and tell you how lifes been
But your voice is gone
Your memory still lives on
It'll never be the same
And we all know who's to blame

I think about you more than I should
I don't know if it's a bad thing or if it's good
You're constantly on my mind
I just want you here next to me at my side
These feelings I have for you are unfamiliar
But when I'm with you I see things more clearer
I was told once that there is a person out there who will take away my pain
Washing them all away just like the rain
I didn't understand till I met you
Please believe what I'm saying is true
You say I'm smooth with my words but I'm just being myself
I just want you to be comfortable then you told me "don't be anyone else"
Why are you on my mind 24/7
Whenever I'm with you I'm in heaven
When I'm with you my problems go away
Because of you I wake up happy everyday
Yet I still get defensive
I won't show my feelings I hide them
Because I'm afraid you don't feel the same
I don't want to ruin what we have because I'll be the one to blame
I get this warm feeling when you're around it's true
I'll do anything just to see you
Even if it's just for a short amount of time
Because every second with you lasts a lifetime

I just can't help but stare at you
I'm just sitting here enjoying the view
That's when my imagination starts to run wild
If I say I don't want you then I'm indenial
Your eyes show innocence
But you have a guilty pleasure in essence
Tell me what is it that you want
Or let me show you what I got
I'm just trying to get you alone
No need to play games we both grown
If all you want is ***
That's fine by me I think that's best
That's our business the world doesn't have to know
It'll be between us like how it's suppose to go
I'm not here to play with your head
I'm just trying to get you in bed
I like your body and your size
And all I want is to get between your thighs
Because everytime I see you I get these urges
The feeling of wanting to be inside you emerges
So tell me where I'm at let me know where I sit
You deserve to be treated right you've earned it