I look up at the sky
And cry

Every night I hope this is some sick dream
That life isn't what it seems

I lost myself that day  
When you went away

I hid it well
Mommy and Daddy could never tell

I have a flashback in my mind every time
I see a cigar or a gold watch or even a cross necklace

You are constantly playing in the background of my brain like a movie that is up too loud and I am on the phone with my boss but can’t find the remote to turn it down

I googled how to let go
I realized that I can’t let go if I don’t want you to leave

I can’t turn raw pain into an elegantly worded piece of literature
I tried it's evident exactly where my heart broke

It visually depicted  exactly when my tears start to stream down my face

If you look close enough

I am drowning in a pit of false happyness and fake hope