Sometimes
I think about everywhere we've been, and the innumerable unreproducible moments

But then I remember quietly fighting about homeschooling in a Denny's

Sometimes
I feel like I'll never connect in the same way with another person

But then I remember that I am dramatic and each intimate connection is unique

Sometimes
I finally am finishing watching our last show that I just haven't had the breadth to pick back up again

And I remember the exact way in a specific moment of the show that you laughed
And how many times you laughed that same way through the years

And I feel pain,
deep in my heart

But then I remember,
pain never really fully leaves

bring out the plastic
mental gymnastics 
get out the tricks, and play the game
what character will I choose

you're ******* spastic
******* elastic
I'll bungee jump into oblivion

you say I'm not crazy
but I'm institutional
I'll blow your mind
I'll become crucial

now we're at the steps
better put some pep in your walk
it's coming up fast
I'm scared, are you?

chasmic tempest, do me no harm I pray

Are you okay with breaking me into little fragments

Are you okay with chopping me up into ragged chunks

Are you okay with shredding me into a pile of confetti

Are you okay with that