my nightmares are never gone
i cry until my eyes dry out
in the dim light i stand alone
my hands are clipped together by cold
my teeth are rattling with fear

I will forget to remember that i once loved you.

I thought I could hold
the world
on my shoulders
but all I do is give
beneath the weight of
countless choices that I've made
Still, strangers faces seem
so much kinder then
the ones I call my own
but faces change like reveries
and people fall like dominos.
How far can I go?
without a messenger to save me,
or a magic spell to cure what ails,
since I'm never on the mend.
I've been searching for some hope
or someone broken
at the the start
Where all of your pieces,
shift with all of my shattered parts
and you'll shoulder the weight
of this world I hold
or tell me too keep going.
Oh, and if not you then give me
peace by showing
all these messy matters
a life good enough to serve
on a silver platter
because
How far can I go?
without a ghost inside my soul,
or a shell to communicate with the sea,
This world is just to big too
accomodate someone so weak and
How far can I go?
If I don't know if there's
hope for me.
Tell me,
how far will I go?
If there's no hope for me.

i want to make it possible
but everything just seems too impossible
somebody help me fight
the journey is taking too long
it's getting me weaker and weaker
somebody make me believe again
that i can break down walls
if only i could stop the world
if only i could reset time
the tears are quite bitter, how long
there's so much beauty, but i can't seem to have it
all the books/poems/stories i could have written if not...
all the friends i could have made if not...
all the hugs i could have given if not...
all the kisses i could have given if not...
i don't understand every single f*ing day
the numbness has stopped me
somebody explain things to me
when did i ever give my permission
i crushed yesterday and will be today and tomorrow too...
i don't know the difference between the days
no-matter how far i run away
the distance don't do any justice, pain still finds it's way
fighting demons both in the daylight and at dark
somebody tell me where hope is
am hopping someday i will find excitement
in tomorrow or breathing air
the impossibilities just tell me i shouldn't try
even if there had be motive of trying
i wouldn't know how...
can i make it through the nights, somebody promise
somebody help me fight in the battle field.

how long should i dearly hold you in my heart
tell me, how long should i keep you a secret in my heart
there's this thing i have for you
tell me, tell me, how long, how long.
i can't remember exactly when this started
neither do i know how long it's gona continue
i have lost track of time now, that's how long it's been.
how long are you going to keep me a dreamer
it was interesting for awhile, but now it's just.......
i don't have a word for it.
just forever waiting for a never rising sun.
i guess this must be the love i heard of while i was still innocent
my imaginations weren't enough,
that you began to be my daily guest in my wonderful dreams.
how many times are you planning to let me fall
my heart only race for you, it had never gave up.
i wake up to find courage everyday,
to look for where your heart lies.
even when i don't want to, my heart keep a place for you.
there's this thing i have for you.
tell me, tell me, how long, how long.
can you help me find a way?
can we find a way together?
if this fate slips by, i wonder if you will know,
that my heart once belonged to you.
i see many stars in the sky,
but i can still easily spot which one is you.
how long are you planning to keep me a dreamer?
yes, yes i appreciate your presents,
but it's just the gap between that bothers me.