Does it hurt when you see my name?
Or think that you see me in the crowd?
Does it hurt when I try to talk to you,
Just to see how you’re doing now?
Do you think I feel no pain?
For the loss you’re feeling now?
Do you think I feel unburdened?
That I’m not lost like you somehow?
I’m sorry I feel free
I’m sorry I’m not as sad,
I’m sorry that it’s been 4 months and I still miss you so bad.
- ALC [November 21, 2016]

Sometimes I want to collapse into a dream,
And only see you.

Last night a fell into a sleep,
Riddled with the nightmares of your face and voice.
You blamed me for all your pain,
For all the suffering you had endured,
And I couldn’t deny you that I was at fault.

I woke only remembering your face.
A face of pure sadness and longing,
But I couldn’t remember the reason for that look.

I walked through my day with that face,
And soon the voice followed.
Full of sadness and anger.

I sat down to work,
Only to have the dream appear on my paper.
Full of as much emotion as the night before.
In remembering this,
All I wanted
Was to fall asleep
And see you.
-ALC November 22, 2016

How can you like me with such a passion.
That causes you to want to be close to me.
You have barely known me.
You have barely met me.
You have not yet glimpsed the depths of my shallowness.
My flaws,
My insecurities,
My true self.
You have only seen my outer crust
Which grows flowers that blossom in the sunshine.
Yet I have an inner mantel,
That is made of molten lava.
Always flowing ready to burn anyone that gets close,
And impossible to control.
I have a core
That is hard as diamonds,
Resistant,
Yet shines in the light.
-ALC Nov 30 2016

Hello my star-crossed lover
I’ve wondered how you’ve been
I can’t stop thinking of you,
You were my best friend.

I hate, I had to do it
It was my only way
To see what else is out there
To find myself someday.

Hello my star-crossed lover
I think of you too much
I can’t help but want you
Within my grasping clutch.

I hate, I had to do it
To let you go away
You were so much to me,
I had to find my way.

So here we go again,
From hello to goodbye
I don’t want to see you go
To let our time go by.

I know it’s got to happen,
That will be here someday
And wonder where it all went
If it was worth the pain?

Hello my star-crossed lover
I’m here to tell you what,
I’ve never once forgotten
Your very precious touch.

How I’d love to tell you
That“I have found my way”
but that’s not happening
No, not today.

So I’ll see you someday
On the horizon
With the sun glowing
Brining hope again.
-ALC November 22, 2016