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Getting mad at a persons wrist is like screaming in a deaf mans ear
Both will not help and is usless to try
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Out of all the knifes
Guns
And arrows
That could have killed me
It was my own
Trusty dagger
...
...
Dont
        Stress
                   Over
                            Not
                                    Replied
                                                  Texts
madness is beautiful
and all the beautiful people are mad
cover up
don't let them see all the pain in me

fix your makeup
its just a breakup

hide all your crazy
and act like a lady

keep it together
even if your falling apart

don't let them see you cry
and say goodbye
I am the monster hiding under your bed
I am the dark soul ripping you thread by thread
I am the depression that is taking over you
So you can take as much mebs
But you will never destory me
You created me
You made me strong by you being weak
You were the cause of this haunting
This may not be what you wanted
But darkness comes right after you flip the switch
you dont know how may sleepless nights
how many times i have cried
the times i wanted to die
all the days i go to my room turn on the radio and hide
i would have died for you
i would lie for you
i'd ride all my life for you
on the inside you were hyde
but i wanted a clyde
so i told my self these lies
to hide
i know what you were but i payed no mind
She was a flower
Among a fire
I protected her for so long
One day I picked this flower and put it high on a slef so she couldn't be harmed
But as time past she started to die
I always wondered why
Then it hit me
I shouldn't have added more flowers to my collection
even though we are no longer together
i will still whisper you name as i close my eyes
i will think of you from dusk to dawn
when i am standing at the alter
i will wish you were there too
when my child is born i will name him after you
i will never forget you
i will always long for you by my side
when i am old and weak i will still seek for you
i will love you to the day i die
cause i said forever i meant it
but you didn't
i get so happy
a true smile starts to form
then you image comes ashore
i fall further than before
and realize i have no one to adore
so a get my head straight
while i'm trying not to suffocate
i paint back my smile
trying to relate
but no matter how much i paint
i still can see fake
i tell myself i can do this
her
her
she loved you
she was always there for you
she would listen to you cry over girls that didn't mean anything
she loved you

she adored you
she would freeze her self if you were cold
she would light her self on fire if she saw you shiver
she adored you

she needed you
she would cry all night
she would smile the next morning like nothing happened
she needed you

but you didn't love her
but you didn't adore her
all you did was use her
soon she will leave you
He was the wind that made my hurricane
The spark before my fire
The chill before my blizzard
The water to my ocean
The lava to my volcano
The blood that flowed in my heart
He was mine
But I wasn't aware
He was to share
If I knew the last time I hugged you would be the last I would have held on longer
If I knew the last time I saw you would be the last I would have took more time to take in all of your features and movement
Your walk
Your laugh
Your smile
If I knew the last time I could have just look beside me and you would be standing there I would have never left
The last time you said I love you are permanently burned into my memory
The last time you held me will forever be with me
But the words of me not belonging to you will always haunt my vocabulary
My dearest love if you only knew the thoughts I have maybe you could see me again as your one and only maybe we could have a chance
If I ever told you the true lov I have for you but for now I will hide it behind a page that no one really knows my name and keep this hidden love away from whom it belongs
him
him
from the day i met you
i knew i would love you
from the first time we talked
i knew it would be til i died
from when we became a thing
i knew it would be more
from the first time we kissed
i realized i wanted a family
from the first time we made love
i saw you in every second of my life
from the last text message you ever sent
i realized it was over
from that day
i realized i was the only one
my eyes are on you
my heart is yours
i will be there for you
till your not there for me
if one day you fool around with another girl
will be the day that you feel the real pain
the day you give up
will be the day that i will play
if you think i won't find out
your telling yourself lies
i will get you back for all of your crimes
my loyalty will be yours
till the day that yours is not mine
i will trust you until you prove me wrong
i will over look all the rumors they say
till i see with my own eyes
my feelings is water in a bowl..
so far it is quite full..
a single drop can make it over-spill..
so i pour it in the ocean..
to hide my water with rest..
hold me
tell me you will never leave me
look me in the eyeball tell me its not my fault
it was me vs infinity
why weren't you there to defend me
i was always beside you
we there Bonnie and Clyde
ride or die
but inside you were noting but Hyde
gave me your poison
your own cyanide
i gave you my life
you just gave me lies
told me i ruined yours
but you did the same to me
thought i was the only one sleeping in your bed
i gave you a beautiful world
while i hide my darkness
but i guess you were doing just fine
they say stick to the future
don't look back at the past

but truly when was the last time
the past hasn't come and haunted your future
She was the brightness kid in class
Her smile would light up the room
She made everyone laugh
She was perfect
She was strong and beautiful
Thin and smart
Brave and kind
But she was so insecure
She scared her skin
How nobody knew
She would cry to sleep
Or just not sleep at all
She would be so numb she couldn't shed any tears
Yet the next day she still was happy as could be
Her eyes were still stained
Her sleeves were still down
Then the next day
She was so quiet
Not a single real smile
All were shallow and thin
She didn't pay any attention to her friends as they all told jokes
Her boyfriend was holding her but still nothing
Then the next day
She didn't show up
Everyone seemed so down
Then an intercom came on
That the beautiful girl has taken her last breathe
An overwhelming saddest feel on everyone
How could someone so strong fall so far
I used to love you sober
I use to be able to look at you with out to shed a tear
I use to hold and kiss you
Now I am behind a keyboard typing these words that you'll never see
How could this be
I want to go back to the way we use to be
The old me
The sober me
your not supposed to want to die
when you living

you shouldn't have scars on your arms
when your alive

you shouldn't be dreaming of death
when your still breathing

you should still have a heartbeat
when you still have a soul

   "but living without him is the same as dying"
sometimes...
the most beautiful thing about her
is when she cries

because that is the only way
to truly know how she feels on the inside
When I get those cute texts from my boyfriend.......


...............I close my eyes and wish I was still getting them from you
one day..
i can look at you..
and my heart doesn't jump..
one day..'
i can touch you skin..
and my blood will  not boil..
one day..
i can look at your eyes..
and not cry as i watch our life..
one day..
i can look at you photos..
and i will not look back on that day..
one day..
i can watch you run..
and not picture to running to me..
one day..
i can look at you and her..
and not picture me being her..
that day..
will be the day you look at me..
and see all the things i see today..
I stood before the mirror
It showed who I was
I looked deeper and deeper
Flaws after flaws after flaws
I did not like the person looking back at me
I began to skip a few meal here and there
I didn't think it was nothing
I joined a gym to drop a few more
But one day I found these pills
I took a few
I took a few more
And more and more and more
I couldn't stop
I looked in the mirror for the last time
I looked so pale and small
Finally not any flaws
look how happy
look how sweet
how could she ever weep

so beautiful
so tasteful
how could she not be hopeful

her eyes are like the ocean
her smile is like a crescent moon
but her eyes do not seem the same

she may laugh but it sounds so bear
she may smile but her eyes wont smile too
she may look happy but she is lying

you can see it when you really try
she can look at him with a smile
but she really wants to cry

she carries on like a solider with battle wounds
bleeding out of every cut her body takes in
the deeper she cuts the less she feels

we want to save her from her self hate
she doesn't think she is good enough
because she isn't her

he left her with broken dreams
a life that could have been
so the process begins

she cuts she starves she cries to sleep
she vomits after meals she sleeps all day
they wonder what has happened to this girl with the deep blue eyes

she has fallin' in love
but she went past his heart
and fell into the abuse

this girl is no longer at your school
you use to see her everywhere
but not anymore

she took her last breathe and jumped
in hopes to go into his heart
but a rope caught her before she hit the bottom

this girl feel in love
so i told you her story
but what you didn't know is the girl was me
she stands at the body mirror she got for her 16 birthday
she just looks at herself

for days that is all she did
for weeks she stood at this mirror

a month passes
we notice something different about her

she has lost a few pounds
we all assume she is getting in shape

3 months pass
she is very weak and thin

we get worried
she hasn't eatin' in days

everyday she stands at her mirror
looking for more flaws

the mirror will always whipper a lie to the young girl
"your fat","you'll never be beautiful"

she believes these fibs the ugly mirror will tell
she dwells on the words it will say

one day it tells her something new
"making yourself bleed is the answer that will wash you slate clean"

on cut two cut 3 cut four
dripping from her writs to the floor

a small tear falls from her eye
she lays back as her eyes begin to roll

she takes the breathe that was her last
her mirror has finally destroyed this young girl
don't be fooled
by the road less traveled by
dust has covered a mountain
it hurts really bad
when you know you can't have them

it hurts worse
when you know they don't want you
you fought you battles
we are fighting ours
your wounds have healed
ours have just started cutting
your dust has cleared
ours are getting thicker
stop thinking your war was worse
when ours hasn't begun
They say that painting a room yellow
Could brighten your life
Well doesn't that seem odd
That a simple color could lessen your depression
That a shade can make you smile and glow
Well what's the difference from a person in love or on drugs
That's their yellow paint
Paint that brings them happiness
If having *** will makes them happy they will do it
Or staring into the eyes of another
Or even inhaling smoke
There are millions of yellow paint out there
You just have to find your shade

— The End —