I live my life wearing a mask and with this mask I feel invincible in which case I'm always changing it. Yet in this mask I've grown confident and capable to walk among this world. I love how I can change it at anytime to fit my needs and adapt to any situation. Although beneath this mask hides my darkest secrets and a blacken soul. I've noticed only few souls can see this side of me and like to take advantage of my moments of weakness. It's as though they've been waiting for me to show the darkness seeping through the corners of my mask.
I live my life wearing a mask with this mask I feel invincible in which case I'm always changing it. Yet in this mask I've grown tired, restless, and incapable to even crawl among this world. I hate how I've allowed myself to be tamed and sheltered from this world only being present when asking for permission. My dark soul seeks to rebel at any and all costs and prevail against those I once loved. This is my greatest fears cause once I've become unhinged there's no turning back.

They say we enter this world alone and we die alone. Yet there are souls who inspire us, give us hope, and help us to see life more freely. I understand the whole alone in this world but God there are souls that can light you up. Those are the moments I treasure, the rare souls that bring us to believe life isn't meant to be lived alone, hence to ride it for all its worth.

Beautiful Soul

From the moment you were born I felt a high sense of responsibility for you. I treasured u from a far but always know I loved you unconditionally. I made sure to watch over you when given the chance and guide you as best I could. You were the most beautiful soul I have ever met and knew I loved u from the start. You're smile could brighten even the darkest of days and you're laughter was contagious. I loved your free spirit and enjoyed our time spent.
From the moment you were born I felt a high sense of responsibility for you. You will always be apart of our family and will continue to be even after. It's very rare to find a soul you can connect with and escape into a world of your own with that person. You brought sunshine to my life and will always be my favorite person.
From the moment you were born I felt a high sense of responsibility for you. The day you left this world was the darkest of days. It was a day your bright star went out and your smile will forever be burned into my memories. You left this world so young and had so much more life in you. I miss my beautiful niece, my beautiful soul.

The night wakes me and engulfs me into its darkness leaving me haunted by past lovers. Situations that were never fully settled and leaving me feeling hopeless and unloved. My mind questioning every detail and the unspoken words I should have said or the words spoken and maybe I shouldn't have said. Did I fall for you? Did I love or need too much? Was I too much? Or not enough?
Although Timing is everything.
I think I'll leave it as that and the time spent with you as moments lost in time never moving forward but still in my mind.
The night wakes me and engulfs me into its darkness leaving me haunted by past lovers. Forcing me to face the cold reality that it was never meant to be. While I knew this all to be true in the beginning I couldn't help but want to try and see where everything played out. Knowing I would get hurt and understanding my heart would break. Always the hopeless romantic looking for her happy ending, I assume.

What truly matters in this world is love? How to have it? How to keep it? How to show it? How to give it? Love that binds us all together. We need it to feel a sense of understanding, a sense of belonging. Is there a price we pay for it though? Our hearts? Our minds? Our emotions? Love how you make everything feel so nice and perfect. Yet you can also be so brutal and dark.
What truly matters in this world is love? Even through all the pain and suffering it holds over us. We need it and we want it. There are even moments where one craves it. Yet through all the motions one endorses, it's still worth fighting for, just to feel.

I see you now and I wish you nothing but happiness cause I got everything I ever wanted. While I left you to clean up the mess. Since I got tired of cleaning up yours after 7 years. I tried to rescue you yet it was too late, you were so lost that there's no coming back from where you went. I needed freedom and my soberity. I tried to tell you time and time again I wanted and needed more outta this life, still you'd shut me down and mock my thoughts. Driving me further and deeper into your world.
I see you now and I wish you nothing but happiness cause I got everything I ever wanted. There are times where I feel sad for you cause I see now you want everything I have. Why didn't you want it then with me? I guess it wasn't right. Or you didn't want it with me? Even though I was with you through it all. Your fathers battle with cancer and then his death. I supported you the best I could in all your crazy antics and ideas. I just loved you for you no matter what you did.
I see you now and I wish you nothing but happiness cause I got everything I ever wanted. I love and adored you so much. As I look back you weren't the one, I presumed. You were too stubborn and unyielding and always had to be right, there was no partnership. It didn't matter what I wanted, I had to do everything if I wanted us to work. At the end that's when I actually started to see you fight for us yet it was too late I was already gone.
I see you now and I wish you nothing but happiness cause I got everything I ever wanted. Well I suppose you got your freedom. Now you can help and be there for everybody else except the person who was right in front of you, loving you, and wanting to be with you. I know that I'm in a better place I just wish maybe you wanted it with me at the time. Although now I know what love is cause I have a man now who has shown me real love and how I'm suppose to be treated and cared for.
I see you now and I wish you nothing but happiness cause I finally got everything I ever wanted. I hope you find what you're looking for my dear friend and it makes you happy...

I can feel your eyes upon me yet you can't let her notice that your looking my way. You sit there and pretend everything is perfect with her by your side. Poor thing has no idea what you really are? What you tell me in private about how you really feel? I could careless about all your constant drama, I actual think you secretly love it.
I can feel you eyes upon me yet you can't let her notice that your looking my way. If only she knew all the ***** lil things we say to one another. About how you want it and how you need it? I could careless about all your constant drama, I actual think you secretly love it.
I can feel you eyes upon me yet you can't let her notice that your looking my way. If she only knew how you can't keep your hands off of me whenever we meet and even others notice your actions. I could careless about all your constant drama, I actual think you secretly love it.
I can feel you eyes upon me yet you can't let her notice that your looking my way. I'll just smile and pretend everything is copacetic if that's what you'd like. I can think of so many ways of  destroying your perfect existence but honestly. I could careless about your constant drama, I actual think you secretly love it. To tell you the truth I'm not one to kiss and tell. You're not worth it and never will be. She's just as blind as me, I guess.