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monday means
manically searching for something to occupy your mind
and it seems
you just can't seem to leave the past behind

tuesday is
tar and treason; poisoning your own body
and you can't forget what your father always says
don't give that heart to just anybody

wednesday holds
weddings and warzones; love gone faulty
just wait till the air gets cold,
and you'll sense the presence of all that is rotting

thursday brings
thirst for that which the deceitful showed you
and all those broken things
from which you had to choose

friday proclaims
freedom from that which you lost
no longer insane,
you now know the cost

saturday comes with
sadness and pain; thunder and rain
his love, a playful myth
his lust, that which you overcame.

sunday you are here
and no one else stands close enough
to sense your fear
no demons below, no angels above
but your head is clear
you are one with us all, you are whole and full
a week passed, a month went
years were lost, what was possible
has met it's end.
 Apr 2014 a flower
Mikaila
My life
Is leaving you behind.
You, in that little town,
Me, being tugged and stretched
To fill an enormous world.
When I am across the ocean
When I live alone and leave everything behind
What then,
For you?
My life is leaving you behind.
But I can't.
I shouldn't still love you.
I shouldn't still wish for you.
And sometimes I don't...
But you have something of me.
I can't explain it.
There are new loves.
There are better loves.
But you are the background.
You are the foundation.
You're in the air,
You're on my skin
And you would never even touch it.
But somehow you still own it,
Every inch,
And I know what grief it will be
To see you grow up and fall in love
With someone else.
I know that to be near you forever
I will have to endure
So much more of that,
And on my weak days I wonder
Why everybody else gets a whole chance.
You, in that little town.
We don't belong to each other anymore.
But I will always belong to you.
I know there will be days
On London's cobblestone streets
That I will be unable to forget your face,
That I will worry and wish for you,
And I wish I didn't know
That I'll love you until the day I die.
I wish I didn't know
I'll be writing you poems when we're old and gray
And married to other people.
But I do.
I know it.
At the end of the day,
When I am stripped of everything
You remain
And that is the most comforting,
Devastating thing
I know about myself.
 Feb 2014 a flower
blankpoems
While you're swimming in my veins,
I just pray that my rivers meet the sea
when you're fed up with the songs I'm singing
just tell me softly- darling I think you ought to stick to poetry
when you're mad, your hands bleed
like a wounded soldier with no guns to hold;
you will fight for me every day I'm alive
When my silent scissor wrists refuse to cut your edges,
when your firefly mouth I tried to keep in a mason jar finds my spine,
I will never again count my own secrets
I will never again search for the answers with knowing the question
and when you look at me like a crumbling rockwall,
I will tell you not to climb. Do not climb these mountains,
you will not find God at the top
you will not find God in my temples,
or between them.
or anywhere near my sinner's cheeks.
because when they burn, they set fire.
because when you ignite, you're deadly.
because you called me one night adorned with whiskey,
your lips telling tales I used to dream about for bedtime stories.
tell me leaving was a mistake, drawn in blood
and I just want you back like the revolving door
through that airport where we met near the spring
and find me by the river, caressing my veins
because you are so full of water and I don't want to drown
in anything less than your body.
Let me in, like that stray cat
walk over my body like a ******* welcome mat.
You are always welcome, do not thank me
for saving your life because my hands shake when I think of you dying
and I can't write you down as fast as you're coming in so be still for a second
be still while the storm breaks, while you try to figure out if my body is the eye.
while you try to let me in.
in the passenger seat of your
tightly packed subaru
i felt as good as royalty
you as king, me as queen,
always wondering what lay in store
for me and you.

little did i know it would
come stammering to a halt
not that it should've
but i always found it strange
how you added salt
to your macaroni and cheese
not that it phased me,
no, i loved you all the same
your salt and all.

because i was taken advantage of
and you were salty as ever
and i was high off the ground
in a lifeguard chair as i told you the news
and i heard clattering on the other end of the line
you were done, you were no longer mine

and suddenly it was as if
the ocean had its own gravitational pull
begging me to come in, come and drown
i would go fleetingly, with nary a sound

but i grabbed familiarities instead
took the knife to my skin again
and it bled and it bled and it bled
i never wanted it to stop

i was surrounded by
people who knew what unconditional meant
and they wrapped me up, kissed my
wounds with their closing fingers
too many times
i should have died.

there is no requiem for a dream
there was no requiem for me
 Nov 2013 a flower
Farah Hizoune
Motionless.
Emotionless.
I wonder if you've ever noticed.
Little ticks that I know not.
Do you notice the blood
under my jaundice flesh.
My loopy smile.
Am I the prettiest little peach you've ever seen
Because you certainly are.
You're the color of a magnolia to me.
I notice
Your eyelashes - their exact separation
Your body flesh bone and wiry hairs.
Your sadness your consistency.
I notice your evil your sexuality your undying devotion.
I notice you noticing
I look away
pretend
I never did I never will
admit
how much
I truly crave you.
How much
I truly care for you.
m not suicidal or anything, i just really want to die

reflection in the water, look between the lines

see the difference between being here and being alive.

i got nothing left to say

been sitting on my lonely *** all

******* day

from summer, to fall

nothing has changed.

i’m still on this precipice

you’re still tired

of me and my explosive fits

you have this patience i can admire.

my lungs are full of disintegration

and my heart has been screaming all day

give me a sign, some sort of revelation

give me something more to say.
I'll write it to you
Since there's no one else listening
But I'm not even sure you are, too.
When you're gone, something is missing.

I know it's all been said before
But I can't quite get it out of my system
I'm sure you know what it's like; standing behind closed doors
That hopelessness we get when we miss them.

I know you know what I mean
All you wanted was to be loved
So go, wash your body clean of me
Sometimes it's all we can do, when push comes to shove.

I want you there in my most intimate of times
I want you so much closer.
Here I go again with these ****** rhymes,
Unsynchronized disposer.

Come over, make yourself at home
Share a cup of tea with me.
We don't have to go at this alone,
We can't shoulder this animosity.

Soaking in your old bath water
That detachment you got fueling
Reminds me of my father.
The way you look at me so coolly.

You are the sunshine
Peeking through my curtains
Good morning, good night
Could we make amends?
You are the frigidity in my bones
I am consumed by you,
Like the way the autumn moans,
And succumbs to the winter moon.

I love you from your eyes to your entrails,
your mind to your skin so pale.
From the depths of your ribs
to the safety of your skull.
Your sins, your blessings,
you as a whole.

and time is moving faster
the night has grown long
my heart a slave, your touch the master
you make my skin sing the loveliest of songs.

i could not begin to bring up
where i end
and you begin
you are all i need, but you've had enough

so let me fade away
from the place you gave me in your heart
i promise the words i say
will end as soon as they could start

hate this and i'll love you
all the same
that word's got me up all night

i don't even want something new,
no, for you are the rain
washing away the blight
of loneliness
 Nov 2013 a flower
blankpoems
If I thought I was losing you I wouldn't beg you to stay
I'd say that when you breathe, I see stars because I imagine your heart inside your body pumping blood
to your veins and your lungs expanding and letting go and all I can think of is how I never want to be your lungs
because I could never let go of your air.

I'd tell you that your eyes put the northern lights to shame.
That I've been everywhere and nowhere feels more at home than
sitting on the curb of a street in a city I don't know with you by my side.

If I thought I was losing you I would tell you that I'm not one
for love poems, but the sound of you saying my name is enough to make me think of red roses and blue violets.
And that when you touch me the roses are blue and the violets are red
and everything painful inside my head doesn't matter.

If I thought you were going to leave I wouldn't ask you to stay,
I'd tell you that every word that comes from your mouth leaves me breathless;
That there are little caves in your body and I picked a temporary home in your larynx
so you could always feel me in the words you're nervous to say.

I'd let you know that my whole life I've been searching for myself,
and amidst the shadows I found your bright eyes, and I lost my senses there...
and found them as well.

I want to tell you that all I need is you and a record player.
That music runs through my veins, and right next to Every Grain of Sand
and my love for Bob Dylan, you're there.
Shining through my bloodstream, leading the way to my heart.

If I thought I was losing you, I wouldn't beg you to stay.
I'd say that you're the best and worst thing that has ever happened to my poetry.
That I find metaphors in the notches of your spine,
that I play them like a piano.
And most of all, above all these things,
I'd say darling don't go, I'll miss you.
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