**** yourself,
**** yourself.
As my breath quickens,
My heart pounds, my hand stiffens.

My teeth grit,
desperate for salvation.
Confused and anxious,
Trapped in isolation.

I want to stab myself so bad,
Wishing to drain the black thoughts out of my head
Those dark, dark thoughts out of my head.
Yet your light shone, and pushed to safety instead.

I don't want to live, I want to reach peace.
WHY SHOULD IT WAIT IF I CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN in one go?...
Why am I hesitant?
Why am I afraid?
Taking a step wouldn't be so hard,
I now will be dead.

You control what to say, you control what to do.
Your friends are broken, because of you.

You blame it on trauma,
You blame it on depression.
What more is out there,
Destroying yourself of obsession?

To what...
To push yourself to edge you don't want to go.
You're guilty, you're in vain.
"Oh I will change to nullify this pain".

What a theatre you're building.
What a stage your playing.

I know you want to die,
I know you don't want to hurt your friends.
Why everything has to be a lie?
A façade, just to meet your end.

You describe yourself like you deserve pity,
as if you have a large dramatic history.

If you want to do it, just do it.
Don't ever take any single one person with you.
Don't hug everyone while the fire is burning.
Don't drag them in your pain, you're feeling.

It does not do anything good,
You're ruining your own image.
Distrust, mishaps will happen.
Everything will be a scrimmage.

I'm not convincing to **** yourself,
neither not to **** yourself.
I'm just saying, this is your own problem.
You, yourself only has to be fallen.

Set yourself an eye,
as for You is I.

Thread carefully,
Trip and fall.
As you see it vaguely,
There's none for you at all.

Search, and seek
There's no one to meet.
As thou flashes life is full of lies,
Truth may be tricky, pain as it flies.

Isolate,
Soar,
Through that mindset of yours.

Is it easy?
Are you blind?
You'll suffocate on things you'll find.

As morning rises, dusk 'til dawn
Cold, shiver, afraid as fawn.
You feel it,
But you're too blind to see it

Things will change,
Scars will remain the same
I ought you to find a reason,
Something, or someone that make you smile
And isn't that simple?

Unpaved

Think...Think...Think...
What can these hands do?
What can your eyes see from this view?

Planning won't do any good,
How long will you stay glued?
When the time is right?
How long...
How long...
How long will we have to wait?
When we have enough time?

Time is gold, many fail to apply
that today may be your last breath and die.

There is A LOT to regret,
There is also a lot of mistake to make.
But we can never hit reset,
Fade those thoughts that ache.

Stuck and wondering...
Who.. or What am I?
an Artist, whose passion will be its fuel
a Developer, whose purpose is to entertain

or will I be stuck wondering who am I..
Be distracted from these jobs as I find myself still
waiting...
thinking...
on this unpaved path

It was a clear sunny day when I saw you sitting,
On the plains, the sun we can see it shining.

Smiling at the sky for what have you been thinking?
Are you worried that the sun is sinking?

Leaves are dancing,
Gales are racing,
A storm, we can see it moving.
"Droplets? is it raining?"

A frown in your face, it doesn't seem good.
You shouted, "Storms are rude!"
Words came out the bottom of your lungs,
Thus, your pendant began to rang!

The storm, the rain
"Is it gonna rain again?",
Those agony and pain
Of the storm, will rise once again.

Light shone, bright, is this the empty vast?
It was only me and you, at last.
Time paused as we ascended,
Where we have been beheaded.

It was you controlling the shine
The wind, the storm beyond that shrine.
Through the vast I told you to accept
Those pains are inevitable, we can't reject.

As I go through the storm
Trying to stop me, but you would be wrong.
I was saving you from your pain,
We must accept the rain.

We don't need to avoid the rain nor the pain.
It is an experience we must gain,
I'll kiss you goodbye.
Hope you reconsider making your own rain, your teary eyes that cry.

I'm in your grasp, let me be
a simple "no", I suppose, would set me free.

Love is a chain,
Love is a prison,
Love will make rain,
and subdue you with poison.

It shackles my growth
of leaving you, I loath.


I was never meant to be found,
by you, leave me unbound.

It's hard, it's pain
Endless suffering of rain.
Nails are forced to be bit,
The blood I spit.
Like a hammer struck on my mouth,
The less drama I speak.

The spine that held me up,
Became thorns that erupt.
Only drips of intoxication,
That made me cut deep due to corruption.
Is this my only lesson?

Ghouls that made me deaf,
Friends that the only option to be left.
Am I weird? Am I acceptable?
The expectations that I am not even viable.
Words that made me vulnerable.

I never felt home,
To myself I loathe.
Things that I hid from the eyes,
Is never accepted but called lies.
Death is my only matter to discuss,
I fell in love to things they are in disgust.

I fell in love with death

Water is all that I can see,
It can go deep as it can be.
It isn't finite,
Like the flow of my thoughts every night.

My lungs start to ache while I drown,
The only way is down.
Choked by this emotions subdue,
'Til the time that these eyes can no more see hue.

Straight to the abyss I go,
Colder and colder, myself is my only foe.
In the ocean, only I... Was there
Me, the antagonist and protagonist of my story,
A blade against my reflection.

I lay down on the floor of the ocean
Let time erase my;
Thoughts,
Problems,
Suffering,
And
Me.

The ocean can be my saviour.

I sit here like it was nothing
Watching you leave, leaves me breaking.
Though all this was a fake feeling,
Like my heart is now perforating.

The feeling of silence like I can't get over,
A hole in my heart I do need a cover.
Standing here watching you, I can catch cold
I can't stop thinking, these memories poke.

But the more that I look, it's harder to find
Many people who tried to heal this wound was too kind.
Others tried to a make solution,
But no one can stop this kind of perforation.

Please someone, I am already bleeding This is no joke nor I am kidding
It hurts so bad,
This feeling I can't stand.

Thinking of you it makes me ache
This affection I am feeling, it might be fake.
I can tell that these insecurities poke Waiting here, I can catch a cold.

This broken friendship is tragic,
All those memories poofed like magic.
I still cherish you, you are a trusted friend I didn't know that this is how it will end.

I have no more words to stay I will lie here and be a stray
This perforated heart will decay,
Where this worthless life I must pay.

A garden filled with thorns,
Yet a rose, a special rose that has grown.
It stands above the rest,
Even in this wonderful flower bed.
She is the only rose that has no thorns,
A beautiful stem, clear, easily sown
Only beauty it has shown.

She was picked,
No bleeding, no *****
Carried upon with a gentle hand.
She was brought onto some distant lands,
Upon the paved path, oh what have they seen;
The sun is setting warmth and danger we feel.

The moon, not yet to arrive
Along the bushes we hide.
While seeking for the light,
The atmosphere cared so bright
A great sightseeing for the fireflies.

As we stare upon the vast sky,
They dance with colors as they fly
Smile upon your face will be my warmth of unforgettable
On how this cold night transverse beyond something loveable.

We have slept on the soft touch of the grass,
"Oh! few petals on this lass",
The sun shone brighter
As we get up, the journey wasn't over.

Across the lands,
Beyond this pass
We have encountered some wild packs.

They seem wild and tensed,
A few caress you have lent

They weren't ferocious nor tenacious
They looked so adorable and precious.
A wolf became a friend,
Where your heart began to mend

He followed your tracks,
He lead off to a good path.
He cared for you on how much you cared for him,
Never his eyes became too dim

We may not reach the end,
We have walked as we can.
Made possibilities and room for chances,
Chances that will give you a good ending.
But as soon we have stepped there is a better leading
The journey along the way, ain't it
Easy and susceptible?
We may find answers what is desirable.

You have been a rose, a beautiful rose I have ever met.
Your every petal is a special one to be kept.