this is what my heart
                   looks like:

           it is            geometric
                                       and angular
           there are                      dark corners
                                                        a­nd sharp edges  
But sometimes in the
sunlight some of my
sides look so
bright

here I am
             in the ground
                            my mouth
                            open
                       and
            I can't even say
                       mama,
                          and
the dogs run by and stop and ****
on my stone; I get it all
except the sun
and my suit is looking
                                   bad
and yesterday
                        the last of my left
                                              arm           gone
very little left, all harp-like
without music.

at least a drunk
in bed with a cigarette
might cause 5 fire
                             engines and
                             33 men.

I can't
           do
                any
                       thing.

but p.s. -- Hector Richmond in the next
tomb thinks only of Mozart and candy
caterpillars.
           he is
                 very bad
                            company.

the speed of light
is 299792458 m/s

edgar allan poe
was born in
boston, massachusetts

string theory is
a theoretical framework
in which the point-like particles
of particle physics are replaced
by one-dimensional objects
called strings

sukiyabashi jiro
is a michelin three star restaurant
in ginza, chūō, tokyo, japan


and yet i use this ability
to listen to sad music
and think about how much i miss you

the speed of light
is 299792458 m/s

edgar allan poe
was born in
boston, massachusetts

string theory is
a theoretical framework
in which the point-like particles
of particle physics are replaced
by one-dimensional objects
called strings

sukiyabashi jiro
is a michelin three star restaurant
in ginza, chūō, tokyo, japan


and yet i use this ability
to listen to sad music
and think about how much i miss you

i've never been with anyone
who i didn't understand
i've never loved someone
who wasn't close at hand

but i must admit
it's very bland
to be with someone
you must command

where ****** favors earn you yours
earn you niceties
earn you plans

i need someone who isn't
swayed
attached
infatuated
latched
just because of the things i can do with my mouth

i've never been with anyone
who i didn't understand
i've never loved someone
who wasn't close at hand

but i must admit
it's very bland
to be with someone
you must command

where ****** favors earn you yours
earn you niceties
earn you plans

i need someone who isn't
swayed
attached
infatuated
latched
just because of the things i can do with my mouth

have  you ever been afraid to go to sleep?
with nightmares so realistic you wake up with a start.
with  a shock.
subconsciously sitting up,
taking in your surroundings to make sure it was, in fact,
just a nightmare.
just a dream.

but then they haunt  you.
for days on end, it's all your mind can focus on:
whether or not you'll be able to sleep tonight.

you know in your mind
the monsters
the demons
the ghosts
the robbers
the murderers
the rapists
are only figments of an on-edge imagination.
but the knots in your stomach tell you something entirely different.
and so the question lingers still...

will I sleep tonight?

have  you ever been afraid to go to sleep?
with nightmares so realistic you wake up with a start.
with  a shock.
subconsciously sitting up,
taking in your surroundings to make sure it was, in fact,
just a nightmare.
just a dream.

but then they haunt  you.
for days on end, it's all your mind can focus on:
whether or not you'll be able to sleep tonight.

you know in your mind
the monsters
the demons
the ghosts
the robbers
the murderers
the rapists
are only figments of an on-edge imagination.
but the knots in your stomach tell you something entirely different.
and so the question lingers still...

will I sleep tonight?

the next time you say
"no one loves me",
remember how its like to have a fever
don't reach the glass of water your throat is thirsting for
close your eyes for a little bit
and see your body for what it is
it is a warzone
and it is fighting to keep you alive
because it loves you
it doesn't know what you are
who you are
what you have done
but with every cut you etch across your skin
as if you are trying to erase your mistake
it heals you as if it is
trying to tell you
you are worth it
you
are
worth it
even if you don't think you are
even if everyone else doesn't think you are

so if you are looking for unconditional love,
reach for that glass of water - clench your thirst
pull that blanket over yourself
sleep knowing that your body loves you, even if you don't love you
tomorrow,
everything will be okay
hold on a little bit.