My bodies cold
lips are blue
why did I do this because of you?

I feel the earth below me
like a pillow under my head
no knives, no guns, but pills instead

The bottle lays empty
cap unscrewed
what did I do? what did I do?

My spirit floats my body lays
my lover finds me
and she prays

I reach for him
I'm ****** away
like a deep crest of a wave

she pounds the ground
screaming why oh why?
I asked myself why did I?

My parents arrive, my best friend too
I thought to myself, What did I do!?

I look away the pains to deep
my life is over because of me

I look back for one last glance
they zip me up in the body bag.
I did this to ease my pain
I lost instead of gained

as I look down my family
I regret that night
my life stopped ticking
because of a fight.

I awoke in a dream with your fragrance lingering from the night before,
what a night we had, spending the night in each others arms and each others hearts.
Listening to one another say why we love the other,
Looking so deep into each others eyes that we struggle to squeeze out words to express our utter enjoyment.
Why couldn't this have been real, all my imagination.
Just sleep walking

Some call it crazy
Some say it's sick
But I think it's freedom
The pain is fierce but quick
Some say that it's a sin
Just a little to risqué
But it helps release the pain
That I go through every day
The blade is sharp and cold
As it runs across my skin
Leaving me to ponder
And decide how deep I cut in
The icy chill running down my spine
Makes me feel at ease
I no longer feel like a coward
F**king up on everything with every breath I breathe
But some days I want to stop
Feeling like everything's wrong
Trying to let go of the blade
Sometimes I can but not for long
It's like I'm addicted to the pain
The feeling taking refuge in my veins
Leaving me feeling confused and alone
Wiping at the streaked tears that seem to be stained
Burned into my skin forever
Becoming a part that I cannot escape
Sometimes I just want to hurt all over
To scream at the top of my lungs until they break
I want to escape from my sadness
It's taking over me
Why can't I just rest
Why won't it let me be
I just want to be free

As tears run down her face,
she realized she's made a mistake.
An utter suffocation,
she's trying to hold on.
But the pain,
the pain's to strong.
The bloods running down her wrist
Her eyes are going shut
but she's trying to hold on
while voices in her head are saying something is going wrong.
She doesn't know where she is or even why she did it.
It started with a razor and a few little cuts.
But became addictive and she cut to much.
Now she's laying on her bed,
wishing she could go back.
As the world disappears and everything goes black.

Your smell in my nose
Your hair on my clothes
The perfume you wear
Lingering around me in the air
Your hand in mine
Your eyes, they shine
Your love in my heart
Never ending, always there
Though these miles keep us apart
They will never tear me away
In your hands, I put my love
In your love, I put my life.

Her eyes, they used to shine so bright,
Her wrists, scared with the troubles of her life.
Her heart, so warming and so pure,
Her words, so confident and sure.

Lately you've been digging your own grave,
Burying all the love that I gave.
Loss in reality and the ideas of living,
Giving up on everything, your life is slowly slipping.

But thats what you've always wanted,
Always taking yourself for granted.
Your life being over, thats nonsense,
What happened to all your Confidence.

Although your mind is corrupt with death and ******.
Even though your lungs are filled with tar and tobacco.
Even though your kidneys are strained with liter after liter of alcohol.

I still see the child in your eyes,
sitting in the corner,
afraid.
Alone.

The child that was abandoned by those he loved.
The child whose childhood was stripped from him.
The child who was forced to become a man when he wasn't ready.
The child that eventually became a monster.

My friend
When I see you I am filled with disgust.
When I see you I only see blood lust.
The child in you has gone, died out.

The object in it's place is neither man nor animal,
but the creature we were taught to fear.
As I look at you, the image goes obscured.
The ripples in the water make you indistinguishable.

So for now I say goodbye my friend.
My true friend.
My only friend.
My reflection in the water.