Kai - Hello Poetry

Kai Nov 29

Seeing something so nice
Finally, I’m not meeting something as cold as ice
I feel like I can finally breathe
Without having to seethe
The feeling so warm and nice
It feels so great
As if I were eight
Being treated decently as if I were a human and not a alien
Finally getting asked “How have you been?”
As if I am a human with decency
As if I weren’t a simple flea
As if I weren’t a pest
As if I were the best

Peacefully explaining things I don’t understand
Explaining things that I thought I couldn’t comprehend
Accepting my clingy nature
Never thinking that it’s something major
Waiting for you everyday to text me
I’m a bit too scared to ignite a conversation, you see?
Letting me hold your hands every chance I get
You’re as perfect as a complete tea cup set
You don’t like physical affection
Yet, you let me display all my physical affection
Onto you
You let me do whatever I want to do
To you (with some boundaries of course)
I will protect you, no matter the price
Rolling the dice
And hoping for the high
I will try

You always manage to make me break out in laughter when we talk
Whenever we walk
Everything may look like obsession
But I simply just want your undivided attention!
That’s one of the consequences you may have to face when you’re really nice to me

Breaks come along
The wait seems so long
Until I can see your pretty face again
But I’ll have to wait until then…

meow, please don't question this. i was bored.

#attachment #poem #poetry

Kai Nov 29

Stalker

Something feels eerie
Something feels creepy
I can’t relax anywhere
All I’m asking is where?
Where is it?
I’m getting scared of it
Where do the eyes lead to?
All I know is, it shouldn’t lead to you

I feel like I’m stuck being a actor
Just because of a stalker
Stuck perfecting myself
Stuck being a toy for yourself
I swear I’m not paranoid
But I keep seeing humanoid
Figures

Sometimes, I wake up to see a shadow
In the window
A shadow of a human figure
Sitting right there
It gives me the chills
Or a shadow behind my doorway
Just so that way
He can watch me go to sleep
But I always weep
Haunted by nightmares while being conscious
Always cautious
Always feeling eyes trained on me
They are hiding in places where I cannot see

Eyes on the back and front of my head
Laying in bed
Doing mundane tasks
Yet, I have to ask
Why do I feel these unwanted eyes?
Eyes among I?
Making me feel nauseous every single time I sense their eyes
Making me scared when I feel their eyes
Covering up myself
Making myself as still as an elf
Feeling their eyes even through the cameras of my devices
I just wonder what the price is
Just to make them go away

Please, I beg
Make this feeling go away

I swear I'm not even diagnosed with anxiety or schizophrenia.

#stalker #poem #poetry

Kai Nov 28

$u!c!de

You know, you can't spell $u!c!de without u and I

would you be willing to join me in a double suicide?! - Dazai Osamu from Bungo Stray Dogs

#dazai #bungostraydogs #bungogaydogs

Kai Nov 28

Meow

All you do is run your mouth
You're making everyone's lives go south

All you are is annoying *******
****** cowards
Never crossing the 7 seas
Might as well join the psych ward
Because of how insane y'all are
All bark, no bite
Let's see how you'll fly under the radar
It's quite the sight
Leaving yourself so vulnerable
Making yourself so useless
Making yourself appear disabled
Opening up the list
Naming several reasons why
Making yourself look like a needy ***** that wants attention
None of it is being truthful to the eye
It all looks like you just have an obsession
You're so sensitive that it makes me laugh
You're so annoying that you make me laugh
In pain
Again
While I'm trying not to rip your organs out

So weak yet so slow
You have such weak blows
Every single shot I take
You think I'm at stake
All I say is "What the **** was that?
I couldn't even be hit by a bat?"
Not even a tiny pinch?
Do you even know how to throw a punch?
Can you even try without throwing the same insults every time?
Because you do every time
Find some other insult then return to me
Fix your grammar, then return to me
Okay, old lady?
You probably can't even hear me
You're deaf to a certain degree
You don't even know how to navigate your phone correctly
You don't even know how to navigate your TV correctly (before putting a virus on the ****** device that has to hear your voice)
You really thought you ate
But all you did was eat
And eat
And eat
OH **** THEY ARE ABOUT TO EAT THE WHOLE SOLAR SYSTEM-

Accusing people who have wrongs in the past
Accusing people of their wrongs that happened in the past
Making me seem like I'm not "disturbed"
In your herd
You're making yourself to look like a clown
In it's gown
In a circus tent
With no one else except your little friends inside
You're trying to make yourself so intimidating
But everyone and everything just laughs at your acting
You're trying your hardest to out live us
But you weigh as much as 50 buses

Look at me in my eyes
Why do you even try?

#anger #poem #poetry

Kai Nov 28

Rabbit Hole

I see my life flashing before my eyes
I'm falling into my demise
Deeper into the hole of mysteries
Just like the 7 seas

Endless hole of disaster
Just because of some pranksters
Wanting to see me suffer here
I can't even hear
Because of fast I'm going down this rabbit hole
The hole
I did not wish to suffer through

As much as I try to climb back up
I always manage to start falling back into the hole once again
As I look down, I see many cups
While my ears are in pain
Completely mesmerized
In this mess
Too mesmerized
It's my weakness
Hypnotized
By someone's lifeless corpse
Gently swaying back and forth
Wishing I would be that corpse
First, Second, Third, Fourth
Not paying attention to my surroundings
Never finding any end
Hearing my ears ringing while I hear clocks softly "ding"
No friend
Just me, myself, and I

Could've choose the red
By the stuff I have read
But has chosen to pick the blue
I wish I have thought things through
Stuck in a endless loop
No longer in my group
Wondering if I'll go insane someday
Or if today is the day
Where I finally land on my two feet
Cold with no heat

As the rabbit hole gets deeper
My mind gets deeper
Hearing sharp noise of the wind feels normal
As if I was an animal
Smiling as if I was happy
But I feel so ******
So exhausted
But also timid
Bones feel like noodles but all I can say is "im okay!"
Or "don't worry, I'm okay!"
I can never get out
Watching the lights go out
Trapped inside the hole
Which holds my soul
A player that you can control
"****! You're on a roll!"
Forced to say that every time you knock me into a hard and sharp object

I wish I would've picked the red one

Based off of Mesmerizer with Hatsune Miku and Teto!

#rabbithole #poem #poetry

Nov 27

Liana

Someone is suffering

While I laugh
Someone is crying

While I dance
Someone just found out they lied

While I can't sleep on my bed
Someone wishes they had a blanket

While I eat
Someone starves

While I walk
Someone loses their parent

While I live
Someone dies

When I remember,
I wish them to feel better
I send them some of my momentary joy
Because maybe
That's how miracles are born

I feel bad that I'm the lucky one, so I do what I can even if it does nothing, and is just a small thought

Not one of my best 😬

Kai Nov 27

Toxic mind

"You smell good!"
They know your insecurities, you smell like food

"You can tell me anything, even your insecurities!"
They will just judge you if you tell them anything

"Your hair smells really good."
They know your insecurities, you don't smell good

"You're really smart!"
You aren't smart if you can't answer a single question and need to ask the teacher

"You're a really good artist!"
Next step: "Can you teach me how to draw?/Can you draw me?"

"Your skin tone is really pretty!"
Your skin tone is normal/average

"You don't smell awful!"
They are only feeding your bad habits

"You're pretty!"
Thank you, but what do you want from me?

Everybody just wants something in return, no matter the situation.

meow.

#freestyle #poem #poetry