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Yitkbel Mar 7
Let me wander, let me be,
Somewhere between the past and the dreams.
Have I truly been here before? Let me think.
I don't know.
But it echoes.
The words and melody against my soul.
Are you from lifetimes ago,
Or just memories fallen into the furrows,
Finally grown.
I see them clear as a dream.
I feel them clear as a dream.
The warm and the cold.
The familiar and unknown.
The childhood shadows I've rushed past long ago,
Wavering in the same glow.
Why did you stay? Will you never let go.
Will you stay with me in time,
Until eternity takes hold?
Yitkbel Feb 19
Ant Farm of Forever Encased in Ember

By: Yitkbel


Written: Sunday, February 16, 2025


Ant Farm of Forever

I.

It's getting early and it's getting late,
Far from midnight and closer to day.
You're wide awake, always the same,
Your soul drenched in love and fear,
Or dread as they say.

1.

You're daydreaming with your heart again,
Of all the ifs and whens.
And all the dearest whom, and where too.
They were faster travelers than you;
I guess they had to go.
But where to?
You ask, and it's no use.
You're standing in the vastness
Of an empty field.
There's no one to answer you.
Are they traceless,
Except for the traces of memories,
And all the pains of love
Clinging by threads of regret to you?
"Could I trace my way back to them,
Or would these traces leave me too? "
I wish I knew,
I too, am standing in the vastness
Of an empty field.

2.

Have we wandered off too far,
And crossed the threshold?
I can still feel the cold,
But this is a sight to behold.
This is a place devoid of time,
But definitely not life:

See, the barley runs up to the sky,
Waltzing between the old oaks,
Rushing to reach the light.
The pink and blue light,
Swirling about,
Curtaining the shadows,
Behind the clouds.

Have we been left behind?
You know we can fly,
When we're not reality-bind,
Could we reach them in time?
Would I
Would I
Be always left behind?
The child in me cried.
As our feet begin to hover,
And leave the land behind.

3.

It didn't take long to reach the divide,
And when you pushed what felt like
A curtain of cotton aside.
I saw the lines.
These must be the shadows
From your dream of dreams,
And dream of life.
You searched and searched
For a familiar face,
And familiar eyes.
But this place is too vast,
This place to wide.
They are innumerable,
And only one of each,
Of you and I.

So we remain,
Strangers in this strange tide.
Wondering why.
What is the purpose
Of this winding line,
When someone, somewhere,
After some time-
If you can say that
In place it isn't defined-
Handed down a gift
To every him and her,
An ant farm of forever,
Encased in ember.
Did you see the glint in the center?
Illuminating some ant inside.
Whose eyes is it reflecting off
I wonder?
It's rather familiar, I gather,
Is it yours? Is it mine? Is it his?
Is it hers?
Is it…
Don't you remember?
This is all of your time enclosed in ember!
Where your soul may freely wander!

II.

Those swarms of forgotten fireflies
Under that bike stand lights,
Those violet skies pulsating with
A unshakable fear of the unknown
In your naive mind,
Those galactic rides that you never questioned,
Whether they existed beyond the orange city lights,
Those callous hands and wizened eyes,
You were so afraid to be hopeful of seeing
Again
Beyond time, are
There,
At the end of the winding line,
And here,
In your hands,
In this Ant Farm of Forever,
Encased in Ember,
For you to freely wander-
All the choices you have made,
All the love you have loved,
That refuse to fade,
All the senseless days,
You wondered why you must face,
When you thought they will never stay,
Anyway.
Yet, here they are,
Basking in the sun rays.
Glistening with unobscured light.
Just like those same old,
Timeless times.
When the most earthly beings
When the most earthly things,
Were perfectly divine.
I think the concept for this poem came about a few months ago when I was reading the book Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman in which there were thirty somewhat fantastical short stories describing universes in which time works differently, or seemingly differently to ours. In one, time was about to end, and I had taken it to be describing a sort of growing block universe mode in which time is finite and had finished growing.

In trying to research whether or not there is a concept of a ‘grown block universe’ rather than growing block universe, I had stumbled upon a short summary of a paper I still have not yet read (PhD Dissertation in Philosophy of Physics by Pieter Thyssen titled: The Block Universe: A Philosophical Investigation in Four Dimensions) that apparently tries to argue for a block universe with free will. To paraphrase the summary, it was described as the block universe enclosing a timeline that was the result of choices by a free agent.

My mind immediately begins to wander like a child trying to see that world in ways that would make sense to its simplicity rather than to actually read the paper itself and see how it is described scientifically.

I was probably taken back to a concept I had described in another poem back in May 2020 that was inspired by an actual dream I had in which I was lifted up out of the universe and have it revealed to be an ant farm in a tank in some lab of sorts.

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3869804/the-eternal-dream/

I had imagined this block universe with free will as an ant farm in which the free agents are the ants and the fill materials as the bulk of spacetime itself. It made sense to me at times as it is not:

Presentism of a slice of an ever changing present moment in which the past no longer exists, and the future doesn't exist yet.
Glowing block universe in which the crawled past continues to be, but the future the ant is crawling towards has yet come to be.
Eternalistic and fatalistic universe that's more like a diorama in which all of time, past, present, future is just there, and forever there, and time is an illusion.

I keep replaying the thought experiment in mind,
and some days this makes perfect sense, and other days I am completely confused.

I can think like the ant in the farm in which my consciousness is present one moment at the time, where the future is unknown, and the past exists as memories.

But I can never truly grasp the mind of a higher being that is physically omnipresent in every moment before, along, and beyond the ant's journey where every moment is just as capable of being acted upon.

Thus, this poem is rather more of my mind’s attempt to find an answer to the purpose of the persistence of certain mundane yet divine feeling moments in life.

And I'd imagine we would each be gifted our own Ant Farm of Forever one day in eternity, where we can wander through those moments of forever over and over.
Feb 10 · 280
Seam of Eternity
Yitkbel Feb 10
So you stand in the seam of eternity
A dust in the wind, a speck of dream
What do you see
Oh what do you see
What do you see
At the edge of the sky
Why oh why, the gargantuan wings
Light and light, sweeping in
Stars and stars falling on the plains
Say dove dove, what are you
A harbinger of?

Oh love love, what else but love?
Didn't you see the tender leaves above
The cicadas call with voice so soft
Come with me, fly with the dove
Cause it's time and time and time
To escape time
From endless nights to endless light
To endless light!
Written: December 27, 2024
Feb 9 · 119
Silence
Yitkbel Feb 9
I know I can't love you with words.
Sending out tattered lines into the waves,
In green lit bottles fit for the drunken sea,
Wrapped with hope stained rags of my soul,
Never to be seen again.

Shall I try loving you with silence?
Perhaps then you can finally
Hear your heart's whispers,
Scattered among the stars,
Singing with the cicadas.
When they've reached the moon-
The wisps of their forgetful voices-
They'll float back down,
In the silver beams of time softened light,
As seeds of dust sown,
For another dream.
Written: January 3, 2025
Feb 7 · 95
[Yisselakh] Scarab
Yitkbel Feb 7
Scarab

By: Yisselakh

Intro:

The beetle climbs the wall of reality
Rolling the sun into place, into the sky of dreams

Verse:

So the beetle rolls around the Sun
Like in dust, our soul rolls around
And they say we're guided by the stars
Or is it our hearts
Or is it our hearts
Is it our hearts

Bridge:

Is this just poetry, is this just art
Is it really the truth of what we are
I'll never truly know
You'll never truly know
We'll never truly know

Pre-Chorus:

What the wise men say
The fools will never follow
If you say so if you say so
That's how they always go
That's how they always go

Chorus:

But when her heart of gold
Shines warmly on your mold
On countless fateful noons
Your heart and your soul
Your shell like sun upon the moon

Post-Chorus:

You'll know
You'll know
You'll know
And you'll believe
And you'll believe

CODA Verse:

So the beetle rolls around the Sun
Like in dust, our soul rolls around
Like they say we're guided by the stars
And all of our hearts
And all of our hearts
All of our hearts
Reading Fabre's Book of Insects by Jean-Henri Fabre
Written: June 18, 2024
Yitkbel Sep 2024
If eternity left a door open for you, would you let curiosity take hold of you, step out, and rush into the storm of time, of humanity?

And would you be back?


I knew neither the moon nor the sun
And night never showed his face.

1.

The day was the keeper of this place;
Keeping the dome clean and round,
So not a speck of star can be found.
Of course, this is me speaking in the future
Of the past;
Unlike in Time, this is a fertile pasture
Only of earth and not dust:

---

I wouldn't have known the moon,
I wouldn't have known the stars,
If not for the gate at the end of the path.

2.

So how should I describe the color of the sky,
That sunless, endless shimmering domed light
If the brilliance of opal, and mother of pearl
Magnified a thousand, a million, a billion times
It's soft pink, mystic green, royal blue and purple
Melt into the beauty of life, erase all sorrow
And leaving only a dreamy field of coral

---

As you float
As you float
Ever away
Ever away
From the shores of troubles

3.

“If there's no night, is there morrow?”
“Is there sleep, are there dreams?”
You seem to wonder about these things
What's a dream to someone who's within?
The peace never cease, therefore never change
So weariness would seem rather strange
It'd be hard to fathom these feelings

---

If not for me experiencing
If not for me experiencing
Before my wandering

4.

Wandering from my garden
My garden of love
My home: my oak tree with canopy high above
My fruit of life, my sweetest peach grove-
Except for my ever following dove-
My four fields of sunflowers, lilies, aster, barley
My four rivers of this little valley of plenty

---

These things I have left behind
To wander beyond the desert
Into the labyrinth of time

5.

The gate has always been open
So when did I get curious, and why
Was it always ajar, curiosity wide
There has always been spiritful wind
But in the garden never with rain
Softly singing and never howling
And I didn't understand the darkness I was seeing

---

Like a stranger on strange tides
Here's what I remember
Here's what I could define

6.

The paved crystals end at the divide
There's only dull stones on the other side
Barefoot I naively and confidently stride
That's when I learned what sand feels like
Are stars innumerable as sand
Or sand innumerable as the universe is grand?
It's as if I stepped on the planets then galaxy’s bend

---

So much dust
So much dust
Would I be buried alive?

7.

My home I have left far behind
Leaving a small window of light
Would I remember what it was like
Would I ever return with or without a guide
When the sand have blanketed over
All traces, all paths and even the light
Everything of mine is getting heavier it seems like

---

As it rains
As dust and sand seep into my veins
I am learning of discomfort and pain

8.

Even though this was a storm of sand,
Still the least strange of this wonderland,
Now that I have seen the brightest and darkness
Of emptiness and shadows
The barest barren and greenest meadows
Summit of stones, pines, snow capped might
Still the golden dunes I most like

---

Like heaps of stars below the sky
Like heaps of stars above the sky
You have see it to know what it's like

9.

The desert never seems to have an end
I wondered if this was going to be my land
My untillable land of moonlight, stars, dust and sand
And I hungered, I hungered
For my home as I knew not this oasis of man
So I walked and walked,
I knew not what else I can-

---

As I wandered on
As I rambled on
I saw something on the horizon

10.

Preserved by a crown of rosemary and thyme
A little wooden sign wrote Pasture of Time
What beautiful and leisurely grass to remind
Remind me of my home, my Garden of Love and Life
There are no true residents here, only travelers
Well maybe except for the sky’s butlers
Three archers playing below the curve

---

Red cape for the soaring clouds of day
Yellow toga to curb the fierce noon rays
Blue dress accentuate the moon’s grace

11.

These three, guarded the wanderers of a thousand faces
They are always changing and I wondered if I am the same
As the dust piled on me, some stayed
Some fell, some shifted in place
And I'm being directed to head in one way
The tour would end at the faraway gate

---

Even through all these plights
My dove never took flight beyond my sight
Ever faithful, darkness or light

12.

Since I'd probably be here for a while
I wouldn't mind these miles of trials
If the tame have never known the wild
Would he know if he's at peace or in denial
I'm just afraid of falling in love with what I can't keep
When I leave this plain
I want leave the pain

---

And not fall for some illusions beyond belief
That'll dissipate when I leave
That'll dissipate together with me when I keep
Emulating the transient things
And I become one with the wrong dream

13.

And all you strangers, you who roam
So very different from my friends at home
Why do your faces keep changing
Why are you always on route to leaving
Could one of you walk with me a little longer
So whatever changes I can at least remember
That's when I suddenly noticed her

---

But I'm not ready to cross the threshold of hurt
Give it all to human nature
What would it be like, to be any other:

i.

The Eagle:

When the sky was low
I never envied the eagle
And still, though it floats
High above the bees, the ants
The earth, the dust, and sand
The dandelions, the foxtails, fig trees
In the meadows

It'll just take the emperor’s new clothes
Of praises and wear it proud with illusive boasts
But what's the use when we all know
It'll never traverse more free
Through immaterial dreams
Nor soar above the stars
Nor bring news from the future or the past

The eagle is still just like us
The eagle is still just as lost

ii.

The Bees

And what about the bee that never asks
What's at the end of work, end of the path
The queen bee was born to be
Not something to be dreamed
So it restlessly toils away
We are already here, might as well stay
So they reason, and so they agree

But what do some say
About the honey they make
They don't believe in that changeless place
I've retained in my mind however vague
They say, they say
They are for whoever will replace
All of us at the end of our days

If not for a journey faraway
When we escape this maze
If we will cease, only dust stays
It'll surely be a waste
So then what's the point of bees and being
What's the point of bees and being
Anyways

iii.

The Ants

What's the vast to an ant
If we barely brace the land
We count the stars thousands times as grand
As brilliant beach of unreachable cosmic sands
We see the lights that dot the sky
As not much different than high flying fireflies
These are the white lies of white nights

When ants can't see the truth of the sky
When ants can't see the starry sky
And think of ourselves kings of everything in flight
And think of ourselves kings of life
When only to dust and shadows can we say we're bright

The existent non-existence is the ant's plight
It's our plight
So we endure gladly, only few understand why

iv.

Meadows

When we are pushed along a path
By false ambition, fate or lust
Even if we're never lost
What happens when we reach the top
A cliff always has a drop
If only there aren't such a curvature
To what we hold dear and yearn

If love is “truly patient and never boast”
How fertile and green would be its
Eternal meadow
The beauty of an endless plateau
Fields of purple irises and marigolds
If this lasts forever, where would it hide,
The shadow loving woes

Never in the meadow
Where the sun would expose
These dark and gloomy foes

v.

Dandelions in the Morning

Such fragile dreams in the youth of being
Such lofty wings in the youth of dreams
It comes and goes on a whim
So easily broken
Yet so resiliently woven
So you would think it went with the wind
Never to return and never again seen

And one day,
So suddenly
All you hear are the yellow flowers singing
In that field you never found promising
Now blanketed with snowing dancing wings

The dandelions of youthful dreams
The dandelions of youthful dreams
The dandelions of youthful dreams

vi.

Reeds at the Dusk

So you are, at the end of your path
The sky is veiled by a dusky mask
And the threads of reed sewn across
Obscure where you're going
And where you are
Would you be lost
To the waves or to the dust

But there is a compass in your heart
And you have been there before in the past
So have faith you'll find your home at
That timeless hut
Beyond the reeds at dusk
Beyond the reeds at dusk
Beyond the reeds at dusk

vii.

Fig Trees of Midnight

I see so faintly the shape
Through midnight’s blue drape
The contour of a fig tree
So I believe I have sown
But the flowering we can't always see
So would I be reaping the fruits of a dream
Or would I be reaping the futility of a dream

Oh, have faith
Have faith
When you can't see it
Doesn't mean it isn't flowering
When the sun is hid
The moon is still reflecting
You can't forsake before you've gone all the way

You never know
How it'll go
Figs of Midnight
Figs of Midnight
Might taste just as sweet

14.

What a lovely scene nature paints
But these are such transient things
I'm afraid I can't bring
Them back to my cabin
Back to my little plain
Would my faith dove remain
The only one following

---

Ever following
Ever following
Ever following

15.

I was so speaking
When I saw a light, a dream
What a wonder of a being
I have never seen smiles of lightning
Eyes shaped like crescent moons
Within which a billion stars pool
Is this why I was destined to arrive in time

*

To bring your soul with mine, my dove by my side
Back to my Garden of Love and Life
My Garden of Love and Life
Because clearly you are and you're meant to be,
So thinly veiled by the dust of temporary things
A being, even in this earth plane,
Helplessly shimmering with light
Written on: June 2, 2024
Concept inspired by the short story,
The Dream of a Ridiculous Man
By Dostoyevsky



Eagle - Ego and ambition
Bees - Humble work
Ant - Inferiority
Meadow - Life of Leisure
Dandelions at Dawn
Common reed at Dusk
Fig Leaves of Midnight
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