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7.9k · Nov 2018
Guardian angel
Guppy Nov 2018
Woke up
To find out you were gone
I still feel your energy and remember everything you said
You made music that so many people could relate to
Numb to all the things that were said about you
People always trying to make you look like a bad person
But you will always reside in my mind and heart
I miss you Jahseh Dwayne Onfroy
Rest In Paradise
2.1k · Oct 2018
an angel with broken wings
Guppy Oct 2018
you’re so beautiful
and I can’t let you forget that
all the people that left you are missing out
and any negative things anyone had said is out of jealousy
Or about their own imperfections
you should love yourself like everyone else does
learn that you don’t need a guy to love you before you love yourself
your body doesn’t need to look perfect
you don’t need big ***** or a big ****
to be loved
you may feel like an angel with broken wings
but you are perfect the way you are
768 · Oct 2018
Guppy Oct 2018
She wanted to be loved
But people just cheated their way
Through her heart
She couldn’t keep waiting
For someone to save her
She wants to release her opinion
But she just learned to not speak at all
Her dad said to her
“When you were 5, I had no fears. Now ten years later I fear everything.”
But she was already in tears
The tears meant nothing
Thoughts reside in her mind
On where she was going to be soon
And what was going to happen to her if she keep going down the path
Of what she thought would help her
But just made her life worse.
She resented what she had become
She knew she could do better
But her motivation had disappeared into nothing
283 · Dec 2018
Love letter to you (#1)
Guppy Dec 2018
If i could you the world, i would
You have given me so much these past few days
And i can never thank you enough
I want to give you my heart, the stars and all the planets
You motivate me to be my best self
And I just wanna be the best person you will meet
248 · Oct 2018
pleasure not love
Guppy Oct 2018
What was the point in you breaking me to pieces?
My heart was your favorite toy
That you just threw on the ground all the time
I was obviously nothing to you
And my heart is the only thing you wanted from me
You got what you wanted
So you cheated on me
Breaking my heart into thousands of pieces
In your hand
Seeing you with that brunette barbie around school
Makes my blood boil
You strut her around
Like your brand new toy
My friends hate that i let you **** the blooming flower
From inside me
That beautiful flower died the day i met you
You gave me happiness at first
But left me with cuts and scars
I was ready to jump off the tallest building
To show you how hurt i was
No amount of scars will show you
How you made me feel
The only person that genuinely made me happy
While we were together was myself
I always knew that i didn’t need a boy
To control what i wore, who i talked to, and who i could be with
You lied and said you loved me
It took everything in me to believe you
And trusted that you actually loved me
I shouldn’t even think about you
You now mean nothing to me
208 · Oct 2018
Guppy Oct 2018
Till I die
Life failed me
I have lucid dreams
About things that will be deemed as mistakes
A mistake made out of not being loved the right way
She can’t love someone that is cruel
She can’t even love herself
Her father is deemed a cheater
Her mom is deemed a addict
Her sister is deemed judgmental
And she just wants to be deemed normal
Yet there is no normal in this world
She has learned to be careful on who she trusts
She has lost too much already
169 · Dec 2018
Love letters to you (#2)
Guppy Dec 2018
You make me forget about everything I worry about
And you are always making me the happiest i can be
Every time i look up at you
I cant help but smile at you
Because I couldn’t imagine a better person holding me
And kissing me
You make my life so better
I wanna be in your arms right now
But i have to wait until the 27th
And when i see you babe i gonna kiss you like I haven’t seen you in months
Cause that’s how i feel
Who would of thought I’d get you?
You talk about wedding rings
And make me feel more beautiful than ever
161 · Oct 2018
Guppy Oct 2018
there was a moment in my mind where i thought of you,
but in that moment i realized how you made me feel
emotional abuse
the constant name calling
and all the times you threatened me
you broke my phone when you thought i was cheating on you
but it was the other way around
you were giving another girls the attention
and pretended that we never were in a relationship
i was invisible to you
there was so many secrets withheld
i loved you
and there were no mutual feelings on your end
you constantly faked what you were feeling
and i stayed out or went out with friends
as long as i could
before i had to go back home to deal with you
when does it ever end?
158 · Nov 2018
Guppy Nov 2018
she has no motivation
and feels nothing but
that made her scared
doctors said she needs
for what?
she asked herself
how was she going to take the
she was told she was
depression was something that
her dad denied she had
she wants drugs or pills
to stop the feeling of emptiness
but they tell her she’s
too young
for the anti-depressants
that everyone gets
when they feel the way she
she wants to die
asking why she is still
Guppy Jan 2019
When you start dating someone, they become your all
And give you some kind of motivation
You become happy that this person is in your life
And you are willing to give anything to love this person
But once it becomes known that you have to keep your relationship secret,
Everything becomes worse
Because suddenly you feel like they aren’t happy to make it known that you belong to that person and love them
And that’s all i ever wanted from a person
Suddenly I’m feeling my mind shut down and think of the worst
I told my best friend that i need alone time
But that’s just me isolating myself from the world
And that is the worst thing i can do right now
In the end, i cant cry or cut because it will bring more harm than good
I just wanted to be loved in the right way
151 · Feb 2019
Guppy Feb 2019
i’m broken and i know it
there’s things i should have kept inside
but i let myself be vulnerable with you
you gave up on us and me
then turned around and told me i’m amazing
you numbed me when you were around me
i’m a different person when i get home
it reflects through texts
i’ve told you about so much and you just couldn’t add it up
i hurt you and now it feels like you’re hurting me
i’m more hurt at the fact that you gave me up on me
you did fix me the way you wanted to
you got somewhere but then gave up
that’s where you messed up
i loved you endlessly and you just couldn’t even return the favor
i told you i loved you everyday
i loved every moment with you and everything you gave me
116 · Jan 2019
The run off
Guppy Jan 2019
It’s been a while since I’ve done something that made me happy
Writing these poems or whatever you wanna call them
Helps me release my feelings and a little weight off my shoulders
They are my way of journaling and hold some of my secrets
I bring people into my life not knowing if they are gonna benefit me or hurt me
You don’t know who your true friends are until you’re in need of help
You don’t see their true colors in the beginning
There’s nothing i can possibly do to keep many great friends
But also sometimes i need space
That’s how i met my ex boyfriend and knew i was gonna fall in love with him
He listened to me and tried to understand what was going on in my life and mind
I have so much emotional scars from the emotional abuse in my past
113 · Nov 2018
Guppy Nov 2018
demxn boy
numb the pain
make me the best person
name me demxn girl
cause of our similarities
both of us are heartbroken and fighting our demons
yet we are happy with how life brought us together
using two ways to let out our feelings
I dont talk to you very much anymore
But you still have a place in my heart
And i love you a lot david
112 · Mar 2019
“I need you”
Guppy Mar 2019
I wish i could show I actually love you
But in every way, i could never
Because my meaning of everything is different from yours
I wanna love you but you wont let me
I tried to tell you everyday
That i love you in every possible way
You just don’t see it
You are truly the light in my darkness.
Because even while you’re at work, you make time for me.
No matter what i can see you love me
Ive just hurt you too much
112 · Dec 2018
Trying my best
Guppy Dec 2018
I make decisions for myself and yes they may not be good. They will benefit me in some way. Ive decided to leave my mom’s side of my family at a distance for now. I want to continue succeeding but I always let my mind take over. And it brings me no good.
108 · Oct 2018
fool me once more
Guppy Oct 2018
You made me feel like I was worthless
What was the point in giving me false hope?
I love everything about you
You make things seem easier
Yet I can’t get over you
Feelings constantly covering up judgement
I wanted the loss of you to not hurt me
I wanted it to not cause such a big wall between us
I don’t want to have to start over with someone else
Who has different qualities than you
I’ve let you fool me twice now
And there won’t be a third time
Because I could say I was happy being with you
But I would probably be lying
I may have loved the way you made me feel
And the way you could sweep me off my feet with your handsome face
But that was only from me being vulnerable to any guy that came into my life
Now I left you in my past and you will most likely stay there
107 · Nov 2018
Guppy Nov 2018
words haunt
her mind
and hurt her
like that last breath
before you die
could you have said something that
any softer
she felt every nasty word sink into skin
piercing every pore
like needles
she sat in a corner
while everyone sent daggers into her body
103 · Dec 2018
Trust issues
Guppy Dec 2018
To be sexually assaulted
At such a young age
And I was never ready for what you did  
From the bad experiences with guys
You just made it worse
You were the first person to give me trust issues
i got away before anything scarring happened
But you still left a image in my head of what you did to me
I was 7 and you were 18
I wish I would have told someone then
But I let it drag on in my mind for 8 years
Before anyone ever know
Yet I never got to recover and am still reminded of you
When a guy touches me where you put your hands
There isn’t any excuse for what you did
This is a true story. And it still haunts me everyday.
102 · Nov 2018
Guppy Nov 2018
In my world
I think of the word “sorry”
Very much as a overused word
And for me it means betrayal
While pain is natural for me
It still doesn’t know that I can be anyone’s chew toy
We all grow up in different homes
And all live different lives
I have many scars from many experiences
Where I just wanted to feel better
So I cut my legs, arms, ribs, and chest
To feel pain somewhere else
Most people think I’m an attention-seeking ***
But I hide most things because that helps keep me away from any sympathy
To have someone feel bad for you is probably the worse part about my life
Although it happens a lot
I don’t acknowledge that they want to help but just can’t
101 · Dec 2018
Birthday girl
Guppy Dec 2018
My birthday isn’t a big thing anymore
Like yes i do a dinner but nothing big
I think the one thing i really like about my birthday
Is to have all my friends tell me happy birthday
And well david, that’s my best friend
He plays too much
He said happy birthday to me right at 12 am
I’m doing breakfast with my dad
Then dinner with the family
I’m finally 16
93 · Nov 2018
Guppy Nov 2018
dancing with the devil
he make promises about the pain
he wants to either take it away or cause more
in hell, you're stuck repeating your biggest fear
the devil owns many souls
looking like pennywise
with all the people in a trance floating
never trust the reincarnated
they messed with your mind in the worst way
86 · Dec 2018
Love scars
Guppy Dec 2018
Lost in the world
Lost on a path that leads to death
It’s like going deeper and deeper into the woods without knowing if you can ever escape
Tried getting people to tell you what you don’t wanna hear
Just trying to get a push in the right direction
But everyone is gonna have different ways of telling you what you’re doing to yourself is gonna hurt the people who care about you
Not scared of what happens in the end
As long as it’s successful
The world isn’t a place for such a broken girl
Don’t think it will get better
Too many guys
Too many scars
Too much conflict
For it just to be ended at any second
77 · Nov 2018
two faces
Guppy Nov 2018
to my stepmom
you are two different people
one with me
one with my dad
you truly aren’t my parent
and you’ve had so many chances to leave
you may take me to places
but that doesn't make you special
all i wanted to do was have a good vacation but everytime i get happy you turn around and ruin my happiness

— The End —