Please
Someone
Please know me enough
Try to get to know me enough.
Enough to know that I'm lying.

You cannot possibly
IMAGINE
exactly
HOW MUCH
I
hate myself

I don't want to live anymore.

Congratulations.
You have done it –
Created such a spectacular façade
no one will even try
to see what’s behind it.
No one will get a peek
at the wreck you are within.
So rejoice.
You have achieved what you set out to do.
Kept everyone out.
No one knows you are broken;
no one is looking to fix you.
And you are so busy
keeping up your false pretences,
you haven't noticed
the walls you built
to keep the world at bay
have also fenced you in.

The world shall only see
what you want it to see.
You are safe
in your steel cage.
Really,
well done.

I just want to cut and scream and cry,
But I can't I have to hide behind this smile this lie,
I have to act like I'm happy and filled with joy,
While people step on me and abuse me like an old forgotten toy,
I make sure I keep all the pain hidden well,
I keep my secrets deep down so I'll never tell,
I get ****** up to forget,
But I can only stand for so long while I'm getting hit,
I'm begging for a reprimand,
But I'm to withered to ask for a hand,
So let me end this right here,
I'm not afraid of the nothingness I have no fear.

I don't even know anymore man
I don't want to live anymore
My chest gets heavier every time I exhale
Every bridge looks like a place to jump
Oncoming traffic a play zone,
I want to wash my skin with a razor blade loufa
And clean my teeth with cyanic Listerine

I walk barefoot in hopes of venomous spiders
I break mirrors while walking beneath black cats on ladders
All the while hoping my 7 years comes in a lump sum

I hope I choke on a Goldfish for the irony
Because it's the snack that smiles back