If plants can overgrow,
Then we as a species are obese.
Leaves make trees more beautiful,
But fall has rid us of all of them.

We are a rotting tree in winter,
And our demons live inside.
Hibernating the fear and angst away,
Since they can't afford to hide.

Everyday we pray,
No groundhogs will be afraid.
So spring can spring upon us,
And feed our many roots.

But Mr. Groundhog,
Doesn't show up.
All he does is paint sliver linings,
And keep our hopes up.

With the sun keeping spring a secret,
That only fools know.

Pathetic,
That's what you are,
And always have been.

Little winy *****,
Who can cry on command,
Don't you know lying is a sin?

****** that I left you,
Thrashing in spite,
You shout to sky.

Dragging yourself down,
Showing me how I was right,
Screaming insults at the traffic that goes by.

I wonder why,
Or how you cannot let this go?
We are done.

Now I know,
You attention *****,
Anything to get me to run.

Make your insults child,
This is as far as you will get.
Because I know you are reading this.

Grow up child,
Actually move on,
Because it's you I don't miss.

This dark room is so familiar,
As my eyes take it in.
Memories of lying there,
Lying in our sin.
Over used devices,
Will meet their breaking point,
Some are happy,
Some are sad,
Some pass the joint.
But I can't help but recall,
How I felt in the dark.
So unsure of where I was,
But certain of what we are.
Can't erase the shadows,
That existed even in absence of light.
Outlines of death and fright,
Watch me all night.
This darkness is so familiar,
I know I've been in this room.
I want to recall those feelings,
But I want them,
With you.

Join me good friend,
Look into this pond.
Tell me what you see.

We can see different images,
If we both see through,
The haunting reflection.

I see you and I together,
Staring into a pond.
Not seeing the creatures below.

Do you see how we stand here,
Smiling without reason?
Our most inner thoughts fight one another.

I grab you quickly,
In some romantic gesture.
As we stand close getting closer.

That's the reflection.
Standing by the pond we stay barely close enough.
Longing in my eyes I lay down.

And let my ambitions rest.
"You're the best..."

Die for me,
If you love me!
Die for me,
If you believe me!
Die for me,
If you want me!
Die for me,
If you want to be happy!
Die for me...

Never good enough,
You won't get through the gates.
Clouds shroud the entry way,
Graves diggers will get the best pay.

Die for my love.
Die for family.
Die for happiness.
Die to reach the stars.

Or live...
Breath the air of betrayal,
As you slowly sin away.
Why can't you just die?

Laying in the dirt,
Staring at the sky,
Middle of the night,
No I'm not high.
Feeling so connected,
Love how I am tied,
Then the thought comes in,
Can't believe it's mine.
What if the stars are holes punched in the sky?

What if stars are,
The good in the bad?
What if stars are,
The happy in the sad?

Light in the sky,
Stars way up high.
I sit here away from it all,
Laying in the dirt ignoring my call.

They tell me things can mean more things,
And those things are a greater metaphor to things,
Which symbolically amount to things beyond my knowledge.

Take the number 138.
A number found in my scale.
Usually between an odd and an even,
Never greater then 140.

To me,
It means home.
My own space where I reside.
Where I have for quite sometime.

To others it means love,
In an odd puzzle way.
1 syllable each,
3 words,
8 letters total.
I love you.

69 poems ago,
Is another example.
A simple number,
Can mean so much more.
Like everything can have a greater meaning.

They tell me things can mean more things,
And those things are a greater metaphor to things,
Which symbolically amount to things beyond my knowledge.

This smile will not fade away,
As long as he walks the streets.
No friend nor stranger will be left astray,
Surrounded by ugly faces on bags of meat.

There is a smile in the crowd,
And I'm told it cracks eggs.
Happiest guy around,
Got that happy feet step going through his legs.

They call him crazy,
What keeps him happy all the time?
He tells them he's not lazy,
He's got a very important job and no time to whine.

He's a lighthouse, a beacon, the firework that doesn't stop.
Until he's out of sight,
And the fuse has run all out.
He breaks down and starts to rot,
Till the next day when he's back out on the clock.

Takes his job serious,
Knows what is at stake.
People need some sunshine,
But no one gives they all just take.

So he's gotta be that guy,
Needs to lead the team.
Make everyone feel high,
His problems go unseen.

Heard he was a nut,
Caught him talking to himself.
Swore he was fine,
Then bolted somewhere else.

He's a lighthouse, a beacon, the firework that doesn't stop.
Until he's out of sight,
And the fuse has run all out.
He breaks down and starts to rot,
Till the next day when he's back out on the clock.

Guess the lesson is,
He smiles for all of us.
Guy has some big problems,
But it's our happiness that's a must.

Look at the actor,
Wears a mask of hardened clay,
The shape,
A clear slate,
The background actor of the play,
Not meant to be heard.
But he's so ******* good,
As some viewers confuse him for a wall.
Sounds not made from passion,
Just machine.
Lyrics forged to beats,
Meaning is what lacks from it all.

Any monkeys can press buttons,
Any machine can be used.
Look at how he draws the eyes of everyone,
So in twined and amused.
You dance not listen,
Never think just drink,
Enjoy the act while it lasts,
Though it goes on and on.

Stupid ******* machine.

Rubbing the scars,
Magic lamp.
You are the genie,
That appears in my head.
Not with wishes,
Not with cures.
But I do while smile,
Why? I'm not sure.

Ideas of what,
We could be doing,
If not for,
All the walls.
You feel trapped,
I feel safe,
We both claim,
To have *****.

If I rub my scars,
Will you appear?
Or are you too close,
To be considered near?
You were happy in the past,
Why chance anything else?
If you do come visit me at my house,
I'll be smiling by myself.

There is a beach to the east where high tide never seems to cease,
A man, a son, runs along the shore fighting his own brother
Tied, an equal match for each other, they fight for the right for a lover.

An evil inside has taken a most deadly form,
A clone who's desire is parallel to the other with equal cost.
Or is it intersecting, since now both their blood cross.

Two men of the same right, one black, the original white.
Will never talk nor words be spoke at all,
A fight to the death will only begin the next brawl.

Sand burning the souls of the fighting men,
Bare fists curled into iron ***** of hate.
Swing and miss till you land a hit, they will never abate.

The seas try to pull them apart, ripping the shore itself,
Blowing winds of pure destruction upon them.
But the fight blinds, only thoughts in the heads of them are to condemn.

War wages on, now they harness nature,
Making bombs, sickness, and uses all life.
Just two brothers who are trying to end the strife.

The Mother calls a friend who promises to deliver,
A force so destructive any tide will retreat.
The brothers ignore signs and continue stroking their meat.

Ignorant men fight on.
Meanwhile the bystanders ask for a sign,
What have I done to ******* the divine?

"You've done nothing. Now die."

Sunday morning,
No work back in the day.
A day off for all,
For religion they say.

Sunday morning,
Better be up by eight,
Got a long day at the factory,
Gonna be back some time late.

Sunday morning,
Kids rushed to church.
Better pray for their savior,
A life a damnation would just be the worst.

Sunday morning,
Restless kids can't wait.
Candy in eggs everywhere,
Know not the meaning of the date.

Sunday morning,
Another day promised to the lord.
No working or business,
A break for the savior's hoard.

Sunday morning,
Just like all the rest.
Past promises broken,
Has heaven been booking rooms for less?

Sunday morning,
Said he died on the cross.
His followers say they are with him,
But they are all lost.

I am an animal,
Housed inside my cage.
Poked with sticks for sixteen years,
And will still be when I am of age.

Caged inside my body,
Chained to my throbbing heart.
The key hangs from the dark ceiling,
If I ever want to start.

I am an animal,
Though my head is always smart.
Take the key and leave,
Will insure the destruction of my art.

My art of control,
To lock myself up inside.
Feelings locked in my chest,
Which most have been denied.

I am a caged animal,
I'd hate to see the day when I am out.
So I keep the key in front of me,
Forcing my own drought.

Everyone looks at my cage,
But all they see is me.
An animal in disguise,
Is what I'll always be.

I am alone,
Inside my head,
Inside my room,
Full of dead.

They cry and laugh,
And tell stories.
Listen to them,
Forget your worries.

Enter two more,
Unlike the others,
Alive, beautiful,
Born to be lovers.

Pick and chose,
Which one you want.
Present or future,
See what they got.

But be aware,
Present is unknown.
Future loves you already,
And my mind is blown.

The dead look to me,
Shrugging their shoulders.
"What am I doing here?"
Whispered the tired solider.  

I say I don't know,
And to my despair.
I realize I'll lose one,
If I don't care.

I keep writing all this sad ****,
About how I love and want and feel.
But every time I finish one,
I feel so ******* pathetic.

So now I'm all mad,
And  I want to write something to the effect of,
*******, you ******* ***** liar you built us to ******* crash.
But then I'm like "That doesn't rhyme..."

You know what though, I don't care.
She ****** up and I can't do anything to help the situation.
I'm powerless here, I can't apologize for **** cause it's all on her.
So what the **** am I supposed to do.

I keep telling myself wait it out,
She'll come back when she is good and ready.
Good and ready with what though?
The ******* *** of thirty ******* guys dripping from between her legs?

I just don't get it.
Can't I at least have a thorough explanation of why you have to make me feel like complete **** instead of,
"It just kinda happened."
It just kinda happened that you could throw away every ******* promise you made and everything we ******* shared?

It makes me sick really.
Cause guess what?
After letting all this anger out in this ******* therapeutic rant,
Now I'm... ******* sad.

Middle of the night,
Beginning of a new day.
Better get to sleep,
I hate to feel this way.
In my head I hear morbid songs,
Something is missing,
I know something is wrong.


Walk into my dark room,
No need to turn on the lights,
The sun might rise soon.
I don't like to let people in,
But if you are in you stay.
This door is only one way,
Only when you leave you pay.

Late night early morning,
Can't help to want some company.
O well I guess,
The darkness will not leave me.

Please don't even shed another tear,
I'm watching you all but disappear.
Poor girl sits on the closet floor,
Never handed anything has to work more.
Can't get hired, can't get payed,
Can't get a car, can't get *****.
There I lie behind big gates,
Have it all never had to take.
Oh poor girl she makes me sad,
Wished I could give you all I had.
You deserve it all you know it too,
So much to offer so little you can't do.
Can't get hired, can't get payed,
Can't get a car, can't get *****.
It's odd how similar we are,
But we are divided by some bars.
Bars of the mind that we build together,
The cells outlast kind and cruel weather.
Either way we are locked inside,
In the corner shadows of our mind.
Can't get hired, can't get payed,
Can't get a car, can't get *****.
Poor girl with those lips,
Could make her more happy with just one kiss.

Evil inside,
Canned worms.
Come and open me,
My faithful can opener.

Release my body's snakes,
(Which yes, they will grow)
Into the world,
So my pain is known.

Thrown into a thorn bush,
Just for the pleasure of touch.
Cuts across my left arm,
Sloppy kiss helped enough.

I want what you give,
Give me what you want.
Promise to keep it all.
Fruit will be left out till they rot.

Pet of pleasure,
Trained to preform.
Learned to love pain,
For that purpose I was born.

Angel snakes come out,
Pushed out of me.
Snakes that seek love,
Hunger for eggs will always set them free.

"Sit down, roll over,
Get down on all fours.
Open your mouth and **** me,
My little pet *****."

I held it in my hands, and felt the god in me.
I can **** you, or I can set you free.
"What are you doing?" they asked.
"Having fun." I replied.
"I wonder if a tiger would allow me not to die."
Squeezing it they named him "Frank".
I called him "Dead" as I picked it up by its leg.
Begging they asked for his second chance.
So I let it go and watched it dance.
Then I saw myself again.
A spider waiting in the shadows.
I cheered Frank on to get caught.
So nature could take course.
But Frank didn't want to get taught.  
It hopped away,
Missing it's lesson about life.
And the spider starved.
Everyone else happy,
I was just in awe.
It had cheated death twice.
****** Frank...

This cage is just big enough,
So that I can have some space,
To barley turn around,
And look Death in the face.

Throw me away,
Because you hate dealing with my ****.
**** me cleanly,
So you can stop having to smell my ****.

It is so cozy in here,
A bed barely made.
But it is still a place to stay,
Although everyone looks sad through my cage.

Sticking their uncleaned hands,
Inside my mouth.
Suppose it's better though,
Then when they stick their hands down south.

Compliments like insults
Brand who I am.
But I know they'll **** me,
With poisonous jam.  

Put me out of my misery,
Or at least theirs.
No one wants cloths,
Covered in my **** and hair.

They smile at me,
I just stare.
Call me the best,
But I know they don't care...

I am mindless,
An animal used to enclosure.
Escapes traps,
Just to move in closer.

Out of one trap,
Onto the next.
Share my new room with rats,
I can get some rest.

A trap door in her room,
Leads to the basement.
Chains and shackles,
Imprison me for rent.

*******,
Forced to do what she wants.
I smirk so smugly,
As she acts out my own thoughts.

Who knows where it'll go,
But I'm enjoying the ride.
As my pain and past,
Are chained at my sides.

What a surprise,
I'm waiting till sunrise.
A girl has my mind under lock and key,
Her presence like food, always fills me.

I'm pushing off others,
In hopes that I may catch this feather.
Elusive and electric, so hard to catch,
More than one hand reaches for this missing patch.

A patch to fill one's life,
Deepest cuts of love's knife,
Will make the pain worth it.
Music, love, happiness, I just want it all to fit.

I have my feelings posted,
Wanted adds for your love on every door step.
So please sign on that dotted line,
Then you can be only mine.

My favorite people,
Are the ones I don't know.
They are the only ones,
I can let my feelings show.

I feel a little greedy,
Stocking ideas in my head.
Everyone I know around me,
Not knowing what I have said.

But all you great strangers,
Who happen to read my poems.
You are the only ones,
Who I invite into my mind, my home.

I do fear the day,
When certain people find,
That almost every word I think,
I subconsciously put in rhyme.

Or that I feel so radically,
About certain subjects.
Don't even get me started,
About the opposite ***.

And what if she reads them?
Will she color me insane?
Not you people,
Your opinions runoff me like rain.

I'll never really know,
What you think of me.
But you will all know more,
Because you'll let me be.

Today I have decided I will be famous,
I'm bored of breathing with all these temporary things.
I want to produce my own light and shine in the dark,
Be more known than the North Star.

My story will be a great one,
Full of twists and turns.
Rising and falling at worst times,
I'll be the best of them all.

They said I'd never make it,
Said it was much too late.
Didn't care if I failed,
Only wanted to get out of my cage!

I may catch on fire,
But that is of no concern.
Have all these fans to *******,
Help me notice the burn.

I can see back in time,
Noticing hidden hums and rhymes.
Gazing the stars I thought to be dim,
Chances of it all happening again are so slim.

Moving on I know who I am,
I am the guy who doesn't know.
Past, Present, Future, Relevance, and Ambition,
Are all missing from the show.

But as long as I can smile,
I can assure that I will know them.

Might just take awhile.

The Gods don't blink,
The Gods don't turn away.
The Gods stare,
Turn on them and you shall pay.

They threaten us,
With laws that we trust.
Don't do what I say?
I'll throw your *** in hell.

Be good people,
And when you die,
I'll take you to a place,
Way up high.

Everyone is happy in the clouds.
Some enjoy eternal life,
Some are reborn,
And some have virgins to plow.

Are they all up there?
Living in peace?
Or will the Gods punish you,
For not believing their piece.

Doesn't seem that merciful,
Doesn't seem so nice.
You don't believe me,
And you'll burn from the cold ice!

A God who does that,
Is no God of mine.
I am my own God,
The Kingdom of Heaven is in my mind.

Those chicks with the freaky brains.
The girls who dig pain.
Woman that dance in rain.
Broads who I can point out and name.

They all live cooped up.
Like to stay in their tree house.
So I find myself in there.
Looking for the rat among the mouse.

Plenty of them there.
Love the short hair.
Get lost into their violent stares.
I have a type, who cares?

I get inside the tower next door.
They all look at me intrigued.
Some want to ****.
Others just want me for the money.

I show them that I can tame.
Invite them to play a game.
It all feels the same.
Back in the tree house again.

He's selling,
His story,
For fame and glory.
Letting everyone in,
As his soul pours out.
How can you let then unknown,
Sweep into the darkest part,
Of your heart?
I'd call you a sell out,
But your only spreading the word.
I'd ask for you to shut up,
But you should never take the wings off a bird.
Maybe your just so real now that you appear to be fake,
Specking so calculated,
Singing to be heard,
It makes me mad somehow,
Isn't that absurd?

I am the same way you know,
But of course you know that.
You look up to me as inspiration,
When I am really just a disgusting damp bat.
Reclusive and in hiding,
I hate to show I care.
I could have gone with you to that place,
If I wanted to share.
I rather lock my feelings up,
And scream in a sound proof garage,
Then to share my close thoughts to strangers,
Who don't know who we are.
I don't want fans,
I just want to cool down.
Writing and living,
Making my own sound.
My own secret,
For my very few to enjoy.
Because no one wants to be aware,
That I am just an innocent boy.

If sharing is caring,
Then I guess I don't care for myself at all.

Across,
A long table.
On top of each other,
In a small bed.
We attack one another,
Trying to get in our heads.

She,
Wants my love.
He,
Already has it.
Yet,
She wants a bite,
Of that ******* apple.

Negotiated ***,
It is something at best.
Just a one time,
Contract.
But I know,
She'll be back.

She,
Says she's in love.
He,
Stands watching above.
I wouldn't dare,
Give her a taste.
But now that is all erased.

I,
Plan on making mistakes.
Everything,
Is in my control.
Negotiations are over dear,
Now let's get in the back of the car.

How does it feel to have a safety net?
Must me nice to know,
That there are dozens more,
To cushion the blow.
The shock from the fall might be sad,
But the nets will hold you close,
And even closer to their *****.
Now go,
Fall.

I walk the tightrope,
With no nets beneath.
So wait there,
Stranded sitting down for a moment,
And pretend someone is worried underneath.
Instead of the cold hard ground.
My turn now,
Hope the friends in my head can catch,
Go long.

We were the same,
Crazy but tame.
Took nothing to numb our pain,
We ran through the rain.

But we crashed.

You now have guy,
Who gets drunk and high.
You love him and although you are losing time,
You've got this sorta mirror where you can hide.

But I know that you will crash.

Met a girl from around here,
She somewhat reminds me or you my dear.
Except, like that trash that you surely don't fear,
She been on drugs and happiness for years.

But I know that we too will crash.

See the irony? Because it's blinding me,
We split apart to find the same missing piece.
One that does all the stuff we don't allow ourselves to seize.
A guide to the fun chaotic college life that we both think we need.

But we both know we will crash together.

Fire,
Burn,
Burn thoughts away.

Can't,
Have you,
Enjoy your stay.

So go,
Go,
Away.

Don't,
Come back,
To play.

Let me,
Enjoy,
Today.

Burn,
The pain,
Away.

Away,
Away,
No more of these days.

The fire,
Burns everything,
Away.

Busy people passing me by,
Some decide to talk, some stare and watch.
Others give me numbers and say they'll call.
Out there every night office hours ranging from 7 to 3
Find me with my cat named "*****" or on my bench surrounded by trees.
Just that guy out there practicing,
Look forward to the fresh air and fresh faces everyday.
Surprising everyone each night with their own name,
While they excuse themselves for forgetting mine.

Those school nights so calm,
Not a car in the city.
The occasional smoker will join us.
Those weekend nights so busy,
Everyone smiling having a good time.
An assortment of drunks and degenerates crowd us.
But no matter what night it is,
Get the chance to have the unique pleasure,
Of experiencing heartbreak again and again.

Making all these friends,
Like to think that it out weighs,
Any lost sleep or  internal pain.
But every night ends the same.
Back to my bed with a smile,
And a head full of names.

What's the matter?

I always hear my mind scream,
Saying words I only dream,
Nightmares of truth keep the seam clean,
Infections on the surface burned by sunbeams.

What's the matter?

Thoughts of doubt crawl into my head,
Thoughts impregnate each other in the bed,
Making me regret all the words I've said,
Making me notice the cuts and all the red I've bled.

What's the matter?

Why the **** does my mind want to know!?
My mind is my mind not a dumb ***,
It should know how I feel and manipulate the dough,
Easily molded yet so hard to throw.

What's the matter?

She asked so politely with concern,
Looked at her through the darkness my stomach had turned.
Knew it was my time to speak as my eyes watered and burned,
Said "Nothing at all." with a friendly smile, to the one that I yearn.

My bird and I sit waiting,
A whole back and forth of debating.
He wants out,
He wants to fly.
Poor bird doesn't know,
Fresh air will make him cry.

Hey bird, why not pick at your feed?
I gave you crumbs since you said please.
He starves himself,
But he will always deny.
That ******* bird,
Seems so satisfied.

Listen to me bird! You'll like what I give you.
I know it's not much but it's all I can do!
He is not happy,
Sits swinging sadly sedated!
EAT, BIRD...
You know the feed is dated.

Goodbye bird, you did the better thing.
Might have starved to death but now you can feed the king.

Resolution,
An answer.
A new year,
A new cancer.

Don't want to change,
Just want to add,
All those things,
I wish I had.

Not looking around,
My life is too cluttered.
Done wasting time,
On every single ******.

Realized that I despise most people and most words,
Everyone's thoughts so irrelevant, I just want her.    

Can make no sense to everyone,
Not supposed to please your mind.
My life style so carless and reckless,
All I can do is smile.

Is there something wrong with me?
I'm sure there is.
Doesn't matter much though,
The doctors wouldn't know where to begin.

Resolution,
A question.
Stop signs,
Are but suggestions.

Prison cell, prison cell,
So crowded in my room.
My guards are so friendly,
But they keep my hands to myself.
Can't make up,
My own **** mind.
Since thy already made up theirs.
My cell is so big and furbished,
But my guards are still unfair.
Can't go where I want,
Can't do what I want to do.
You should be grateful,
That I keep away from you.
Aren't you proud to be guarding me?
Rather than that rotten boy,
Who lights up the TV screen?
Where is the trust in me?

Can't I just get away, to prove I don't need your favor?
I'm trapped inside my prison cell, the guards are so unfair.
And the guards to the prisoner next to me don't even care.

Looked in the mirror,
And I saw three people,
Looking back at me.

They were so different,
Motives crisscrossed.
Only showing sometimes in reality.

I saw my best friend,
He looked at me dead in the eyes.
Whispered wise words, into my mind.

Told me to be,
Calm and controlled.
Help others feel alive, do what I am told.

Beside him stood my worst enemy,
He smiled like the devil and said,
"Feeling are for fools, **** everybody."

Asked me if I cared about him or her,
Reminded me that nothing fun,
Comes out from being pure.

In the middle sat a boy,
Was it me?
He rocked back and forward crying himself to sleep.

Screamed his questions,
In unseen rage.
"Who the hell are you, where is your cage!?"

I stared at the three,
Tried to make sense of it all.
My mind couldn't take it so it jumped just to fall.

Destroyed by the questions,
My mind denied the heart's lies,
Shut off my eyes, now I am truly blind.

Together again,
Yet again,
We fixed your rend,
Once again.

We are together,
Better then ever,
You say it'll last,
Forever.

Is this a tease?
A blowing breeze?
Or just an excuse,
To get on your knees?

I don't care,
For there is love in my air,
Which I breath in and out,
As if I was dared.

Is it fate,
That got us to this date?
Will it bring us to the point,
Where we mate?

Let's let this tale unfold,
I am no longer cold,
I want to be with you forever,
If I might be so bold.

The dark,
Is it empty?
Or is it full,
Of the unseen?
Flip the switch,
Scan the space.
Find anything,
That you don't like?
Please replace.
Clutter will mutter,
***** thoughts to your mind.
Till you finally snap,
And **** someone.
Then your trapped,
In dark again.
This time jail cell,
With your new friend.
Go ahead,
Take your corner,
Sit and think,
About her.
She's all you have,
Yet she's not even there.
Alone with darkness,
Without a care.
Never know though,
The dark is so thick,
Maybe she's with you,
Trying to sooth the sick.
Wrap your arms,
Around both your sides,
Pretend she's tight against you,
And try not to cry.