Beyond my I love you lies
An I love you too,
Or sad poetry.
I write what I cannot have
Or what I cannot keep.

I go from loving to losing you
And both. I go from pain to
Odd pain then to forgetting,
And beyond that-
Pain even. But hope
Is always there.

The sun sets, not for the moon
But for tomorrow; Love leaves
Not for pain, but for love.
Pain never leaves.
Love always comes back.
Love comes back better.
Pain disintegrates.

Beyond sad poetry
Is romantic poetry.
Beyond poetry is reality.
Beyond everything else,
Good and bad,
Is you.

And You are far better...
...than an I love you too.

© 2013 J.S.P.

I want to feel the fire,
I want to feel it dance in my heart.
I want to feel alive,
life is an art.

I'm living this life,
the way I want to live.
You may not like,
the way that I think.

But this is my life,
and I'm going to ignite,
that fire deep inside,
and come alive.

This is my life,
I'm going to live it right,
no regrets or shame,
time to play the game.

I know I live,
I know I die,
so let me live,
while I'm alive.

There's no mistake,
I'm going to face,
plenty of adversity,
but I will make the best of it.

I once asked you
"How long will you love me?"
You answered "Forever and a day"
with your faded photograph smile, but

Only a few months later
we'd spend most our day
packing short-term memories
and ******* our goodbye

I guess you either needed a reminder
of why we lasted as long as we did, or
maybe you just wanted to feel my love
being emptied inside you, one last time

Either way,  you and I were never meant to last
we were a chance encounter, a flame
that quickly burned out  moments after you came, and I
watched the farewell dim your eyes

It's funny now, how forever
ended up being a Friday
at a crowded bus station

I was 16 years old and wanted to slice myself in half,
wondering if I would ever get the last laugh.
Wondering why the good things never last,
hoping I could one day go down the right path.

I was 16 years old and couldn't think straight,
stuck on the idea that I'd always be too late.
Hoping that the boy would ask me on a date,
Seeing only predictability and self hate.

I was 16 years old with a hair clip and a lighter,
wondering why no one else saw me as a fighter.
Trying different things to make the weight lighter;
mixed in with the invisible's and the over-biters.

I was 16 years old and the timing was always wrong,
feeling like the road of self-destruction was too long.
Doctors telling me what I had known all along,
just waiting for the day that I could sing a new song.

all my friends loved drugs or liked to get ****** up
my boyfriend would shoot ****** and paint with my blood
i’ll sure as hell miss downing pills
but i think i want to live instead

i loved white nights bleaching my eyelids
i loved brunette boys who made me feel like jesus
getting ****** on rooftops watching the sun collapse
but i’m tired of waking up and feeling like ****

i had fun drinking ***** on hot, summer nights
and placing pills under my tongue until the world was vivid neon lights
holding hands with the boy who drank too much lean
but i think i want to make it past 2013

Shaving seconds,
manipulating minutes,
trying to beat time.

Breaking down,
without a sound,
send me a sign.

Reading waves,
vibes and phases.
I can't help,
if you don't try.

There's a world waiting,
a world worth saving,
and I see it in you.

I'll fight the battle,
I'll win the war,
I'll do all I can do.

Give me a moment,
a second at least,
I need to explain,
my heart is true.

I'll save you,
if it's the last thing I do.
I'll save you.

I fight to fear another day.
Each step I take,
I exert my last will,
my last bit of strength.

The world has left me cold,
alone, to fight.
I fear what I have become,
and what will become of me.

Each day that passes by makes me stronger,
as I grow weaker.
My bones are brittle,
my heart is shriveled,
but I am one with myself.

I can withstand anything,
weather any storm,
if in the end,
I can build myself back up again.

My will is strong,
my words are one.
I am,
determined,
my mind is clear,
and I will not stop moving forward,
until I die.

I know I'll be okay,
As long as your **Mine