Loving you...
Was an out of body experience
Like I was looking through a window,
I watched as we fell in love with each day that passed
The strings distancing our hearts shortening with every kiss
And I watched as I tore it all apart,
fragment by fragment
As if I had no control over it
On this other side of the window
I scream to myself to stop
I can't help but watch in horror
And I can't comprehend
Why I would destroy the best thing I've ever known,
Why I would turn away on the one constant,
The one real, out of this world, crazy, chaotic, beautiful love that I want, that I need
Waiting,
I pray my body and soul join each other once more
So that this nightmare may end
And even though it's surely too late,
I could love you, full force, soul intact
Not from behind this window,
But with my hands resting in yours

If my heart were a ship... It would have just sank to the bottom of the ocean

Loving you is the best-worst thing I've ever done,
It's the most right, wrong thing I've ever had
It's tore me to shreds,
then stitched me back together,
Without patches, without seams
Even better than before..
Loving you may be chaos,
but it's the chaos that keeps my weary heart beating

i want to be the reason there is light inside your eyes again. the reason you worship the sunrise, instead of clinging red knuckled to the end of each dying day.

My eyes wander up to the dark sky
And like its second nature,
I think of you
I look into the stars, like I'm looking into the depths of your eyes
I get lost among the constellations,
Like I lose myself in your love
In this chaotic life of mine,
You are the North Star, guiding me home

Tie up these laces,
Music set to blare
cool morning air fill my lungs,
road beneath me tire my legs
And I won't stop
Not til my muscles collapse
Not til the numbness wears off
And then maybe,
Just maybe
I'll find some clearance
Perhaps then my ****** up head won't be so ****** up
it'll all be clear
And what I want is what I'll do
I won't regret, I won't apologize
And that will just be okay
And maybe then I'll win this battle that I'm fighting with myself

An arrow I do deserve, straight to the heart
I know I do, because first it went through your heart
No sorry will ever be enough....
Maybe not even actions can mend such a wound
But I will try til the last breath in my lungs