My boyfriend hit me yesterday, but it's okay. He was just mad. He called me a ***** today, but it's okay. I guess I did look at someone other than him. He choked me today, but I know he was playing. It was only for 5 seconds this time. My boyfriend said he hated me today, but I know he doesn't mean it. He loves me. He threatened to **** me today but he didn't. He killed me the day after. Choking me to long, losing air, and dying. It was my fault. It was toxic and I should have left. But I thought he loved me…...

You want me to be perfect. Perfect has no concrete meaning. Perfect to me is when you can love yourself. Im not perfect. I find it hard still to love myself. Why should I push myself to obtain someone else's perfection. You want me to be Finished, Non-Comparable, One of a Kind. Well if this is what you want then look around. From a males description of perfect today, most girls are perfect. The smile, the body, what they offer. That is all you care about. I live inside my skin, the outside is only what others see. Only decide what for you perfect is.

I'm so confused right now.
I really hate you.
But I love you.
I can't tell you what I am feeling but I can write it.
I never deny it.
I turn into yours when your around.
But when you leave I feel alone and hopeless.
I should not let anyone define me.
But for some reason I let you.
Maybe, it was because I thought for a second you wouldn’t leave.
But you did.
Just like my Dad and Mom.
My Grandma and my Sister.
I held you close because I didn't want to let go.
But you left, making me have to let go.
But I never let go of the love.
The love.
Did it exist in your eyes, with us.
Or was it just me.
I never meant to get to attached.
But I didn't want you to leave.
Now you left.
Just another person that left.
But I loved you and I still do.

Your hard to resist. It's hard to not love you, when your so easy to love. But people say there won't be only negativity that you'll see in love. Like how I feel connected to the moonlight, but you don't know it. Like how I express myself for what I feel for you through my art or poems, but you don't know it. Like how I hear your voice, it soothes me like a cure in my veins, but you don't know it. Like how I break each day because you pretend with me, but you don't know it. Like I love you more than anything. But you will never know it. People want me to stop talking about you, but I can't. Why? Because it's You! Even though it feels like im choking for air. Ill still want you, and ill still need you. But your forbidden, off limits, and everything around me is against you. But I guess I'll break the rules. But only for you, and only for you, and I will keep falling in love with you and only you.

sunflower.
You look for one thing.
That one thing is in multiple girls.
But not for me.
I guess it is what they have to offer.
I am not like that.
Out of us I am a sunflower surrounded by roses.
You picking a rose which is the likely scenario.
Most people would pick the rose.
This time you picked me.
The sunflower.
I ended up dying.
You used me as a decoration.
To get you attention.
Giving me away to get you some ambition.
You never ended up watering me.
Letting me slowly die in your hands.
You use me then pick another, the cycle continues.
You would never settle for one sunflower.
Only because you never want anyone to call you “mine”.
I wish I was a rose.
Maybe I would actually be able to open up and not be so closed.
I try not to get so attached because I know you will pick me than pick another flower a week later.
Sometimes I feel like you really don't mean it when you say maybe later.
You keep avoiding us.
But what more could you ask for.
This flower does not have everything a rose does.
This girl isn't like all your other girls.
This girl is wonderful and bright just like a sunflower.
Roses are pretty don't get me wrong.
But they have thorns and can cause you pain.
I would never cause you pain or play any games.