Alexis K

Alexis K Nov 2023

Waves

Crashing against the rocks.
                Washing away the sand.
                             Weathering it to glass.

Depression is like waves.
                  And I am already glass.

I am tired today.

Alexis K Oct 2023

Selfish

I know I am.
For ignoring, for forgetting.
For not caring.
I'm sorry.

I'm just fighting to survive.
It's hard to wake up.
It's hard to sleep.
I know it's selfish, but I have to focus on surviving.

#depression #sad #exhausted

Alexis K Oct 2023

Pause

I don't want to die
But I don't want to live.

If the world could just pause
So I could simply exist.

#depression #sad

Alexis K Oct 2023

Sleep

I'm so tired
But I can't sleep

My eyes burn
But I can't sleep

Alexis K Oct 2023

Death

I've imagined it a thousand times.
Hoped for it more.
Sometimes I lay awake at night,
Coming up with different scenarios.
I imagined myself having a stroke.
I even imagined overdosing.
And then compulsively looked up if I could do such a thing on my medication.
I guess I'll be here a while.

Alexis K Oct 2023

Alive

I am so exhausted by this feeling.
So tired of being tired.
So tired of feeling helpless.
There's nothing I can do to make it go away.
Nothing to make it pass faster, or to change my mind.

So I sit in this feeling.
With no other option than to let it suffocate me.
I hope I'll come out alive.

Alexis K Oct 2023

Im Fine - Repost

"Hey, are you okay?"

I am drowning.
Fire licks my lungs,
anvils sit in my stomach.
Fingers snake around my wrists pulling me down.
Chains clink as they tether themselves to my ankles.
My throat is being crushed by that monster.
My mouth is covered.
My watery tears are enough to overcome this.
I cannot scream.
I cannot cry.
The bags in my eyes grow deeper.
Darker.
I am a shell of what I was.
I cannot see what is in front of me.
I can not see what could come.
I am drowning.

"I'm fine. Just tired."
Exhausted.
I smile