victoria

victoria Mar 2018

There’s a hole in my marigold washing up gloves
The water just seeping inside
I noticed it just now standing over my sink
My hands wet instead of staying dry

These’s a whole in my shoe
A very small one
It lets in tiny stones from the beach
But I still keep on walking
The sea that I’m stalking
My happiness almost in reach

Now the whole in my heart is getting smaller
A real love is all that it took
So the other holes can let in the water and stones
All it took from him was that first look

Love. Hope. Getting better

victoria Mar 2018

Losing to Switzerland

Assisted suicide...

The white coats are waiting
Little pills to stop the pain
All’s needed now is to swallow
To sleep and stop the shame

A shame that didn’t belong
A family left to morn
A journey already written
A body broken and worn

Go gently to the white coats
Keep my hand till you silently slip
Swallow down your shame, my father
I’ll remain till you lose your grip

Another poem relating to my fathers impending assisted suicide in Switzerland.... and I wonder why insomnia is my friend

#assisted #suicide #father #daddy #sadness #fear #loss

victoria Mar 2018

Insomnia

My friend insomnia

I know you love me insomnia
I know you get restless if I sleep
I know you hate it when I take a pill
And lie here counting sheep

But I need my body to rest, my dear
And my mind have time to dream
The sleepless nights spent by your side
Leave me angry and wanting to scream

Please my friend let me still my mind
And my sub conscience make sense of my pain
I just want an hour of switching off
Or I feel I may go insane

I’m so tired these past few months that I’m not reading because my brain and eyes hurt and I’m writing very little. I’m behind on all of your beautiful poetry and I’m sad that I missing out..... I hope that I’m able to read all of your wonderful words soon. Apologies, life is getting in the way and Mr Insomnia isn’t helping ***

victoria Mar 2018

Finally

And all of a sudden
Without even knowing
This new love showed her...
That all the men
Who had broken her heart
Had never deserved her....

victoria Mar 2018

Cj

My angel boy

I’m drowning in you
I can’t stop the flood
Brain is scrambled
Blood starts to thud

You’re under my skin
You seep deep inside
I shield my love
But my soul I can’t hide

You encompass my heart
You engulf my mind
I’m lost without your love
Without you I am blind

victoria Mar 2018

Falling fear

Falling fear

Like swallowing glass
I begin to choke down
Your vicious notes
Though I fear their sound

Like fading in the sun
Like falling through a cloud
Impaled onto your sharpness
Left to bleed on the ground

victoria Mar 2018

Love

I want to feel you inside me so deep that I never feel that hole in my heart ever ever again.
I want us to become one when you’re deep within me so that I never ever feel lonely, because a part of you will live inside of me forever.
I want our hearts to dissolve into one another so they beat in unison and we never feel sad when we’re apart.
I want to kiss you so passionately that our souls combine and we become a brand new whole that no one can pull apart.
I want us to whisper “I love you” so sweetly that the wind carries it away and whispers it in our ears whenever you are away from me.
I want to laugh with you until both our stomachs hurt and we fall over giggling and then make love on the floor where we lay.
I want to be the best decision you ever made so that you love and adore me even when I’m old and grey.

I believe in you, I believe in us and I believe in this love