Cold isolation,
Hibernation, and intense fascination,
With self. I needed to do this to reclaim the lost, broken-hearted, and wounded parts of me,
Lonely seasons bring out despair: depression, desperation.

But then things crack and light streams in,
Warmth and life overpowers darkness, enveloping,
With love, grace, a heavenly face that wipes away every tear and love wounds that trace
The maker of our seasons, the one who writes new story endings.

Liberation is a fire that burns deep within, new rumblings, in the heat of new adventures,
New maturity emerges, new insights replace old that are purged,
There is freedom here, new dreams spark, courage is abounding in my inner nature,
New possibilities are seen, tasted, and felt,
Small steps evolve into giant leaps into the future.

To stabilise all this growth, you have to take stock,
Step out of the spotlight, and tend to the flock.
It’s time to reflect, marvel, and enjoy, all the moments in life: good and bad,
And embrace the confidence of standing on firm rock.

From this place, I step into my reward,
Rejoicing that all things are made new, on his accord,
New wisdom is found: pockets with pearls, lavish plunder, so different from the darkness that once hung,
But now I fight my battles with a double-edged sword.

Time tells tales: of where we find our fortune,
Seven years of recovering, seven years of dependence, seven years of healing, seven years of growing freedom.
After seven times seven minus seven days on life support,
lying in a coma, wondering when I would wake up, if ever.
These years were spent learning: from unknowing, awkward, and uncertain to knowing, revelation, and authenticity.
I saw my underbelly, I wrestled with my inner foes,
I reconciled with my complexity,
And was held by the One who truly knows,
The future, the road that’s still ahead, and
The enlargement, the promises fulfilled.
The love and acceptance, the rejoicing.
I step out into the unknown more bolder now,
Holding the hand of the One who is more known.
Time is ahead of me, I don’t need to speed it up, but rather I desperately want to slow it down: and
Savour the moments, minutes, and the memories,
Of life here: now that’s a fortunate tale!

Wild Animal Within

I want to befriend
The wild animal within
To sit with and know,
To encourage and mend.

To tame its twitches,
To friend its foes.
To flame its courage
And pull up its britches.

To walk the way
Of the narrow path,
To head North even with Rath
And help it trust You and all You say.

True Life

I was dead, even when alive.
I lived, but lived for others,
Surrendering my soul,
I must have existed, but did I truly survive?

Denial? Busyness? Constant comparisons?
Are all good contenders,
(Do-goodness and perfection add)
In the throes of destruction.
But now I heal, trusting in God there are no human barriers.

However, this truth, 
The hustle continues,
Life should be sweet?!
But instead, we struggle by struth!

Mindfulness may be the key,
Cocktails of alcohol and drugs?
Or constant distractions and selfies?
But Jesus trumps all, seek him, you'll see!

He is the life and resurrection,
He is our true peace,
Our hope and life,
And should always be our concentration.

Thank YOU, that I am not perfect!

I take off this heavy yoke,
This burden that cripples my spirit and robs my joy.
What is it like to live a different life?
To believe something different from what I've spoke. 

To try new things and become more of YOUR joy.
Thank YOU that I'm not perfect!

Thank YOU that I can make mistakes,
And can try again.
There are many possibilities ahead!
I can zoom ahead and I can apply the breaks,
I can stumble and re-wire my brain.

Thank YOU that I'm not perfect! 
So here's to another attempt,
So here's to continuing on the journey...
No matter what…willingly and NOT circumspect!

Weary but not wasted

Drawing on power from He who rides upon the clouds,
To face the battles this day that mount. 
Reignite in me an unquenchable fire. 
That stirs my spirit from the One that inspires.

Ablaze

Burn all my impurities;
May they sing:
“This girl is on fire!”

Restraining

There's something
paradoxical
about restraining,
saying no,
when everything in you
wants to say yes,
everything in you wants
to go get,
everything in you wants
to consume
And then you pause and
wait
And it passes.
Is that the power of restraint?

Power of Remembering

A brisk pace

Walking to work,
I was struck, with the memory:
the time when I could not walk...
After a stroke, during brain surgery, and a 40-day coma…
My step indeed picked up to a brisk pace,
and a smile came upon my face.


Thankful.

Loved

I am…..




                                                     …LOVED.