bugs are scary

creepy crawly legs
trek up my own
biting my skin
feeding on my blood
for nothing but sustenance

when it comes to
bugs,
and me,
and the meadow im lying in
there simply isn't enough room
for all parties involved

so i took shrooms

there is no pain
i feel no bugs
yet we see all bugs
all bugs are dancing
in a constant state of dancing
they dance and they eat
we dance and we eat
in the meadow

for the meadow is home
there has never been another home but the meadow
the meadow encapsulates all beings that matter
the bugs
only the bugs

for i am the bugs
WE are the BUGS
THE BUGS ARE US
WE ARE THE CHILDREN
WE ARE THE WORLD
WE WILL SING UNTO
YOU, THE MEADOW
ANCIENT HYMNS FROM THE UNDERGROUND
LISTEN WITH YOUR SOUL
WE ARE DANCING

and we have danced
we danced until the sun stopped setting
for the sun can never rest
will never rest
in the presence of us, the bugs
the beautiful, beautiful bugs
we love the bugs
i love the bugs

bugs used to be scary

the pottery is unspinning
the sweater's unknitting
the candle is melting
and the tea's gone missing
pondering the theft in awe at this mess
and what's left:
clay, fabric, wax, and leaves
i guess
it's god's way
to say
be grateful for your things
when the world goes backwards
it's the leaving that stings

if you're walking in puddles to soak up the rain
you gotta look cool to mitigate the pain
skaters and ravers alike will agree
Judge None Choose One and buy JNCO jeans!

some people live in chronic fear that right outside their front door
there's a gunman waiting to end them


some of us dream of such things

so many poems
are about heartbreak
but what about
the leaves we rake?

so many poems
are about loss
but what about
your grandma's tomato sauce?

so many poems
are about love
but what about
your nice winter glove?

if we took a step back
and saw the little things
maybe we wouldn't need as many poems
about depression

to live a life so rich
a book filled with pages
yet a vengeful brain
no memories remained
strewn and forlorn as she ages

1 - be sad
2 - drink *****
3 - cry
4 - destroy liver
5 - forget everything
6 - forget why you drank
7 - forget why you cried
8 - forget the hangover
9 - forget your friends
10 - repeat

wrapped up in a two hour daydream
thinking of what the future might be
needing to tell others but neglecting,
the world doesn't need to see that part of me

remember that cute girl at the grocery store?
the one you didn't say anything to?
ok now roll that back and imagine..
because what else is there to do?

spiraling thoughts lose all purpose
can't talk to people, can't be alone
yet my happiness depends on making others happy
a skill i don't think i've yet honed

because my whole being is the epitome of empathy
if you don't care about yourself,
well, you're cared by me
such is the life of an INFP-T

monetize and institutionalize
is the way to gain the modern prize

marriage isn't affirmation of love
it's a 10-grand headache
as the IRS sits above

funerals aren't celebrations of one's life
they're ways for the fat cats
to profit off your strife

churches aren't for learning about god
some pastors make six figures
now isn't that odd?

you wonder why you're in so much pain
grasping at straws attempting to stay sane

unclench your palms from those useless umbrellas
go outside, and dance in the rain

ruh roh raggy
re taliban ris taking rover rafghanistan!
RAGAIN!
rey say rey want reace
i rink they're rying, raggy!

is wondering why she always texts back when you're thinking of her

until you realize

it's because you're always thinking of her

crumbling dams
senses overflowed
neuronal excavation
floodgates unload
the world is a cave
and my lantern is broke

targeted all substances that promote creative thinking/minimalism

and ignored the ones that promote anxiety and materialism



sugarsugarsugar

praise be praise be!
to the almighty caffeine queen!
carrying her caffeine canteen!
such a shiny silver sheen
i mean,
until she met the caffeine dean
and after a night quite obscene
where the sheets weren't clean
he tried to wean her off the coffee beans

now envy colors the dean green
"the queen's seen caffeine Eugene!"

she wasn't so keen on the dean's mean scene
hired fifteen teens to throw him in the ravine!
as is routine,

don't intervene between the queen's caffeine

when the rungs of the ladder break from above
only the strong-willed and agile can cling to the sides
and keep on climbing

raggy,
risten to rhis,
"rells rike reen spirit"
r-I ruv rirvana raggy
rotgun to his head
now Rurt's dead

i think, therefore i am
mentally unstable

at work
one rainy tuesday night, busy as can be
managing manchildren, yet the best one said to me:
"ryan, some are here for a paycheck, others are here to make money"

perhaps foreshadowing, i went home and made an apple turnover

this is not a poem.
this is an idea next to a blank canvas
it is up to you to make it your own

think about it -
maybe you could write about
the relation between the faded white hues of chef boyardee's hat and the color of the used car?
or maybe about Mr. Boyardee negotiating with the Jeep salesman, bribing him with Chef Boyardee © branded ravioli?

think about the different scenarios
make this idea happen

freeverse, limerick, haiku
whatever you wish to do

YOU are the chosen one

good luck.

grillers greatly ***** ground-beef-grinders
and regret grinning when getting gristle

james has got **** in his mind
he's discovered people of his kind
two in the pink
one in the stink
and "Oh, what's that from behind?"

what are you thinking about?
don't be afraid when i walk out
i'm just trying to talk to you
you can be domesticated and we can switch places
take my job in foodservice, you can work the grill
i'll live out in the wild and run amongst the hills

soundless trees
unkempt breeze
the world sits still
entropy at a freeze
until
the call
the spark
the beat of the wing
brings life to the stars
and makes everything

beautiful <3

if you were a seed
would you really believe
as you emerged from the soil
the world would be at peace?

it's the uncertainty that we displease
and the scenarios we create leave
us at ease
but when our expectations aren't seen then
it seems
we've dreamed
too far too fast and now
disappointment runs free
that much we can see

and as i read this to you
the only thing that's true
is that you don't know the ending
but you're content in your head and

thus,

if you were a seed
your only guarantee
is existing as a seed
is all you are and all you can be
in the present

and that's alright

vices, vices
for some it's devices
you ask what the price is
think of time cut into slices
hindsight, life wasted
dragon, you chased it
pepperoni allocated
alabaster brain created
power washing neurons, water
from Lake Huron, sought her a crack pipe
till he fought back on the hard life
now we heard through the grapevine
come round to Becket and you can get
the finest joint rolled by a priest from Sarasota
at the highest point on I-90 east of South Dakota

do you ever just feel
inexplicably happy?
when you just love everyone
and nothing can go wrong

because i felt that way today
and let me tell you, dear reader
you are a loved and valued person
keep the good vibes flowing
and stay strong

thinking that you can fly through the drivers side window but being stopped by glass is the most upsetting thing ever

up above,
the sky is crying

you're not alone, sky

many humans,
feel your pain

they can relate
to the sadness of the rain

vegans will slowly discover
the lettuce can hear themselves being eaten
we'll just have to synthesize amino acids from the air
no way that'll be beaten

Sometimes I wish I was a cow
Blessed with ignorance
Unaware of sorrow
Of anger
Of violence
Of remorse
Sometimes I wish I was a dog
Incapable of rage
Forgiving to a fault
Free from the burden of regret
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t at all.

"Let's get Dunks and buy yoga pants"
Said the basic goose

"Let's eat the rich and dismantle the patriarchy"
Said the woke goose

"Quack quack quackity quack"
Said the regular goose

"Let's frolic through a field of spaghetti"
Said the silly goose

Classic silly goose

wooden cabin of the nowhere forest
front door barricaded by snowstorms
icicles glistening beneath windowsills
through the panes, a faint light

the fireplace
oh, the fireplace that provides
us with warmth from the outside
illuminating the outline
of the marshmallows that lie
atop cups of hot cocoa

and on the couch we lay
in each other's embrace
in these sweaters that keep us
from ever leaving this place

as the fire hums lower
embers orange-red
i wonder shall i get
dry wood from the shed?
but why disturb the moment
a moment too good to be true
tonight the couch is our bed
and i rest here with you

We recycle since
Plastic bottles give trash bins
Poor indigestion

let your dreams not merely be figments, but pigments on life's canvas

mother's womb
is a trap
parent's home
is a trap
cheap apartment
is a trap
my house
is a trap
hospital bed
is a trap
coffin
is a trap
the concept of freedom
trap
the word "escape"
trap
thoughts
trap

no escape

'du er vakker'
is what i say,
but,
'jeg elsker deg'
is what i think

a man came up to me at a party and said
"i don't know how to talk to people"
and with a drunken laugh and a nod of my head
i responded, "bro that's SO relatable"

"what in tarnation!"
said the rabbi at the station
discovering that even kosher cheese can cause great inflammation

vestigial limbs
infamously touch
separate spirits
black, they do turn

that cloud looks like a blob
one could say that it's
blobular

got beet by the slaw
raabed a bank in arugaland
endive into your brain
reveals all that romaines
"lettuce break free!"
"it's not that chard!"
but until you turnip
the money for bail
you'll be stuck
in kale jail

what is it that separates the wheat from the chaff?
the planets from the dwarf planets?
and who defines such matters?
well, that would be the International Astronomical Union
or the IAU
(or the I and U)

there are 3 conditions
of which 2 are shared by both planets and dwarf planets

1. they both orbit around the sun
(as we orbit around each other)

2. they both have sufficient love...so that they assume a hydrostatic equilibrium (heart) shape
(i may have fudged some details)

now the one distinction between the two
is that planets must
3. "clear the neighborhood" around their orbit
i.e. be gravitationally dominant such that there are no other nearby bodies of comparable size

and i write this application to the IAU today
so that we will no longer be dwarf planets

for nobody in this neighborhood
nor any neighborhood
could ever have a love as dominant
as how much we love each other <3

i invited a non-binary friend
on a 3-day cabin trip
and on the first, they said to me
"this has made me realize
i can't recall a time where i've been truly content.
this is the happiest i've been in a long time"
they put a hand on my shoulder
"you're a good friend"
and with that, my year was made

if you had bought the TSLA calls i wrote in the notes of: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4448684/rectangles-and-lines/

you would've tripled your money.

this is not a joke. i AM a financial advisor. listen to my ******* investment advice. the SEC can lick my taint

this year for halloween
im going as a slice of cheese
so i can scare people
with puns

now how do i begin?
o-que, so

i walk down the halloumi and see
my friends colby and jack

colby's dressed as a camembear
scary enough to make you go emmental

jack's dressed as the Cheshire cat
who listens to baroquefort

we all sit down paneer the window

"so teleme," i ask, "what's gouda?"

"i'll tell you what's gouda," jack replies eagerly,
"see that girl over there, fonTina?"

how could i swiss her, i thought, with her looks and her cheddar, she could make it gruyere down there out of even the LEAST manchego of men

"go talk to her, jack, it'll be a brieze"

"no whey man!"

"yes whey"

"man i'm too anxious, i'd rather talk on the mascarphone"

"what do you mean, you're the goat!"

"we can'tal be buff-alo like you, why don't you talk to her?"

"already dating monterey"

"i didn't know you swung both wheys"

"sometimes i feel like my sexuality was madE backwards"

"alright that's enough!" jack stammered. "i'm fetup with these puns! it was fun at first but it's gotten annoying. some of this **** doesn't even make any sense! just go man, nobody wants you here."

colby and i exchanged a solemn glance
i turned to jack
"..................ricotta be kidding me!"

"LEAVE!" jack screamed, and i turned and walked away


now it's time i asiago home
feeling blue, heading back to my cottage
sad and provolone

raggy,
i know rut it's rike to find rove
rat the rend of the ray,
rou just rav to be rourself

ruh roh raggy
those ranes rust rew rinto that tower, raggy!
there's rire reverywhere!
rook rat rose reople committing ruicide
rosama rin raden and ral-qaeda ron't stop rus, raggy!

the woodland creatures look with glee
towards the mushroom house
between the marsh and a large, newly fallen log

the window acts as a gateway
for the warm, autumnal scent to fill the air
as the oven releases freshly-baked apple pies

the lady inside sets them on the counter
donning a pumpkin-colored plaid dress
faded beige shoes with silver-tinged buckles

a sneaky fox tries snatching a pie through the window
sensing this, the lady spins around and wags an astute finger
the fox, having learned its lesson, retreats to the back of the line

one by one, the woodland animals each take slices of pie
the squirrels, the deer, the robins, everybody joins—even the fox
and my oh my, what good pies they were

the lady directs them all to follow her to a cliffside
where they sit and eat and listen and watch the calm wind
swaying the leaves in the apple orchard down below

"you see," the lady says, "i picked only the best of the best to feed you today
but to do that, i first had to sift through a lot of bad apples
yet i persevered, knowing that with work, and patience,
things would change for the better"

the fox and the lady exchange glances, softly smiling
everyone stays to witness the sun set over the mountaintops
creating orange-red hues camouflaging with the changing leaves

the forest air was just a little more crisp that night

hard times make hard men
hard men make easy times
easy times make soft men
soft men make hard times

himalayan salt can't fight the beavers
and veruca salt can't fight the seether