is my pursuit of the absurd
as a restless endeavor
a result of the scars
where my heart's been severed?

back when it was important to be better than everyone else
i neglected myself
what was mental health
but a distraction from goals that couldn't be quelled
hourglass countdown
mousetrap shout now
never again
"never" is when
he grabs my arm
shirt sleeve tearing pieces stored in box
unbelievably his eyes lock with me
as he shows me the clock
it's 10 PM
do you know if your children's interests still revolve around the weaknesses of others?
keep it that way
keep them under your thumb
digging into their skin
blood laden monkeys paw unfurled
it's the only way they'll ever really get ahead in this world
you see, individuality is just a sin
concocted by philosophers
what keeps your maverick apathetic
they call that fabric softener
black water
coffee packed crying in father's cup
we all know how the story goes
the nail that sticks up

two worlds disjoined
your feet far apart
two inches a year
a hundred miles at heart

may you gain courage
enough to choose a side
absolve yourself of this double life
leave the rift behind

may the ash dissipate
so you may see clear
that our love for you stretches
across the lithosphere

it's not your fault
you had no choice
where to begin
but if you must,
show
them
with grace,
the volcanoes within

enslaved by fire
forced to watch, our souls
collective masochism
hive mind tragedies
the hand that feeds
whose existence is ceased
singing no more
melodies, somber
softly if any
a wince in the ether
beacons deceive her
ripples of light
rorschachs of sky
tearing our pages
erasing guests
laugh at,
meaningless

cover my eyes with foil
my ears with lies
cover my arms with birdseed and honey
watch me collapse
as i roll down the valley

my new friends take my energy
and fly away
so carelessly
but i can't complain
it's the way things are
those who come near
will always run far

a heart once gleeful
now i'll never ask for help
im tired of people
and of myself

if the earth is always
moving through space
if every day occurs
in a different place
then why does it all
feel so same

i am stuck to the ground
asking for change

doom impending right at our fingertips
world ending from lunatics
dissonance amidst
the left and right twix
what bliss
what a spectacle
the venn diagram between climate deniers and conspiracy theorists from the top down it's helical
electric vehicles
made to save an industry
to keep folks from working public service
so that they stay in factories
political pageantries
ocean acidification
chronic substantiation
they still don't believe
the data don't mean nothing to them
cause they never learned how to read
oklahoma senators bringing in snowballs
cause they got no ***** to admit
what they perpetuating is all false
factory farms with fake causes
free admission to the zero emissions show
with zero promises
corporate underbellies with no structural integrity
ignoring somber melodies
eating BP and jelly
in a dismal schism
no light for my prism
prisoner to capitalism
dreaming to cope
in a grayscale class
if i drop the soap
just greenwash my ***

Sometimes I wish I was a cow
Blessed with ignorance
Unaware of sorrow
Of anger
Of violence
Of remorse
Sometimes I wish I was a dog
Incapable of rage
Forgiving to a fault
Free from the burden of regret
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t at all.

vices, vices
for some it's devices
you ask what the price is
think of time cut into slices
hindsight, life wasted
dragon, you chased it
pepperoni allocated
alabaster brain created
power washing neurons, water
from Lake Huron, sought her a crack pipe
till he fought back on the hard life
now we heard through the grapevine
come round to Becket and you can get
the finest joint rolled by a priest from Sarasota
at the highest point on I-90 east of South Dakota

energy, scarcity
they say oil's a necessity
if they need more
we find it

they said it's too impure
and refined it

when they asked for coal
we mined it
the boomers sure don't mind it

church and state? they combined it
their self-worth, they defined it
as the value they give
to shareholders
hotter or colder
would it ever matter

they call us crazy
for caring
they're pushing daisies
we're pushing native lawns

to live a life so rich
a book filled with pages
yet a vengeful brain
no memories remained
strewn and forlorn as she ages

i wonder when
the dam was built
a product of mind's flora
begging to wilt

i wonder why
you had to decide
after coming so far
you needed a guide

i wonder what
we could've done better
to avoid the stone
killing two birds of a feather

i wonder how
you think when you're down
do you let it overflow
or sink to the ground

i wonder who
has the audacity
to wonder so much
so equivocally

that person is me

yet i know how
i think when im down

and i know what
i should've done better

and i know why
i made you decide

and i know when
i lost the ability to cry

ignorant plants can never know
that improper sunlight
obstructs their growth

sometimes we have to give them ears
to make them believe things
they don't wish to hear

thanks for everything

for communicating your issues
in a stable manner
for being the face of self-growth
no matter what
for respecting my time
for valuing me

and they say
that sarcasm doesn't translate well over text
but what does it matter
when your whole life is a ******* joke

and this push and pull *******
taking energy away from me
it's not your eccentric personality
it's your ******* BPD

now my hair is falling out
i wonder where it's going
maybe if i search for it
i'll find myself again

you're not happier
but i'll be
cause i run off of spite
and whatever you say im not--
that's what i'll be

is wondering why she always texts back when you're thinking of her

until you realize

it's because you're always thinking of her

soundless trees
unkempt breeze
the world sits still
entropy at a freeze
until
the call
the spark
the beat of the wing
brings life to the stars
and makes everything

beautiful <3

actors abound
stifling coffee stains
muffled sound

and you ~

seeing yourself
on the screen
feeling judgment
hard to believe
the voices
are they your own?

always never alone
the mailbox flag at half mast
rearrange the letters
of the alphabet
it's a blocked exit

lest you forget
the fourth is a broken firewall
and when he snaps his fingers
the theater will burn ~

and although i'm not a star
i know
i'll return

i think, therefore i am
mentally unstable

this could be the moment
your daydreams come true
you'll place your order
for endless love
and he'll wrap his arms around you

hours passed by
before you made the call
your biggest fear
was that none of the scenarios
would ever play out at all

trembling hands grasped the phone
oh, the social anxiety
maybe i'll be forever alone?
you thought
well, that's the story of me..

with teeth gritting and eyes shut
unaware there's no one to please
dialing..
"hey thanks for calling pizza hut"
"yea can i get two large extra cheese?"

if you were a seed
would you really believe
as you emerged from the soil
the world would be at peace?

it's the uncertainty that we displease
and the scenarios we create leave
us at ease
but when our expectations aren't seen then
it seems
we've dreamed
too far too fast and now
disappointment runs free
that much we can see

and as i read this to you
the only thing that's true
is that you don't know the ending
but you're content in your head and

thus,

if you were a seed
your only guarantee
is existing as a seed
is all you are and all you can be
in the present

and that's alright

bald! bald! bald! he called
from wall to hall as he couldn't stall
the tall task of masking his hair loss
as his eyeballs looked ever so appalled

the stress will mess the rest, i guess
and for us,
we'll be out in the woods
for when have you ever seen a true woodsman
without any hair on his head?

the people of the woods may get mauled
but without 9 to 5's
they will NEVER go bald!

wooden cabin of the nowhere forest
front door barricaded by snowstorms
icicles glistening beneath windowsills
through the panes, a faint light

the fireplace
oh, the fireplace that provides
us with warmth from the outside
illuminating the outline
of the marshmallows that lie
atop cups of hot cocoa

and on the couch we lay
in each other's embrace
in these sweaters that keep us
from ever leaving this place

as the fire hums lower
embers orange-red
i wonder shall i get
dry wood from the shed?
but why disturb the moment
a moment too good to be true
tonight the couch is our bed
and i rest here with you

the pottery is unspinning
the sweater's unknitting
the candle is melting
and the tea's gone missing
pondering the theft in awe at this mess
and what's left:
clay, fabric, wax, and leaves
i guess
it's god's way
to say
be grateful for your things
when the world goes backwards
it's the leaving that stings

mailbox hopping means no stopping
every day there's a new house to drop in
i live with the owner's and dig inside their brains
and by the end i feel i've become just like them
is my personality like water?
internal cannon fodder?
if each day im sent back from one to nil
then what does that say about my free will?

lone survivors trudge with remorse
overlooking buildings collapsed
humans trapped
how hard it is to grasp
a society bogged down
dopamine abound
when it got tough near the ground
they didn't know how
to work
to find purpose
in a world of change
succumbing to apathy
they lay across the earth
end to end
and let the sky fall
right on top of them

james stood up from the floor
he impatiently walked to the door
the half-life grew nearer
as he looked in the mirror
and said "**** man i need some more"

for all the people whose fathers lie

for all the people whose fathers spy
on each thing that ticks
their paranoid minds

for all the people whose fathers are weak,

for all the people whose fathers scream
"i wanna **** myself"
"i wanna die"
"i wanna see the ******* light way up in the sky"

for all the people whose fathers can't see
what it means to be emotionally free
well,

now you know who not to be

stay strong,

please

they say life is a story
well if that's the case
then for the rubber band boy
his pages lie half-blank

for he does almost nothing
he sits and sits
and sometimes stands
and occasionally
he flicks rubber bands

at the walls of his room
marking the point of impact with a sharpie

and between the second point
and the first one
he draws a line

and he keeps going and going
until all corners of his room are filled with lines

then, picking his favorite wall, he overlays a map
where the most lines intersect, is where he travels next

he continues on, diligently
logging a tally
of all rooms he's been

for this is his purpose

he does nothing else

no wife, no job, just acceptance of himself

onlookers wonder
what incentivizes this man
he pays them no mind
and keeps flicking rubber bands

clamoring for yams?
head to the yammery!
for all your yam-related needs

we hold daily jamborees
next to the old jam cannery!
all proceeds go to fighting
tumors in the mammary

what are you waiting for?!

be the change you want to see
getchur **** yams at the yammery!
for nam vets, first yams are free

if you're walking in puddles to soak up the rain
you gotta look cool to mitigate the pain
skaters and ravers alike will agree
Judge None Choose One and buy JNCO jeans!

they think
i'm their therapist
that my advice is gold
but they don't know
i'm trying to see
at 19 years old
if my hairline's receding
or if i'm just being told
by the chemicals in my mind
that i'm not worthy of my goals
that i'm not worthy of the folks
i've met along the way
the ones who claim to respect me
not meaning what they say
and the girls try to flirt
i stand poker-faced daydreaming
nightmares of how i'll be hurt
should i shave my head
to lose weight
or will the stress take it first?

two birds circling, unsure
one only sides by the stoners
how do i tell her
without digging the seed
that just this past week
i've quit ****

aligning stars
meet underneath
aurora borealis

bonfire ablaze
souls colliding
energy speaks

and the seldom-told-stories
are absorbed so eloquently

remnants left by hot coals
superpositions on the earth

now adjourned
for our journeys
to be revisited
next lifetimes

and apart, we think
as speech wasn't a need
onward and onward, wherever onward may lead

weather! weather! GOD it hits the spot
watch it whether i weather the weather or not
day and night and rain and light amidst the Earth's rotation
i'll put up a FIGHT if you try to deny the weather is a boring station

nickelodeon can take a hike
cartoon network was never that great
can you really say you're living life
without the local on the 8's?

Jim Cantore you never ever bore me
and as your number one viewer i know you just adore me
Mike Bettes is the best it gets
when he's on air my body starts the sweats
Stephanie Abrams is just so amazin'
when her forecasts are right my **** gets a-raising

with shaft in hand through the hole in my flannel
predicting some RAIN TONIGHT ON THE WEATHER CHANNEL

is when you're unsure whether to be more angry at strangers calling you "bud," (because you're not a ******* kid) versus "sir" (and realizing you're ******* older now).

at work
one rainy tuesday night, busy as can be
managing manchildren, yet the best one said to me:
"ryan, some are here for a paycheck, others are here to make money"

perhaps foreshadowing, i went home and made an apple turnover

fire from the start
boundless expectations
wanna change the world
at every nameless station

but nobody'll ever help
my folks'd always say
"get your head outta the clouds
and focus on the day"

am i forced to feel too traditional for the city?
dreams slip through the sidewalk cracks
destined for obscurity

dead leaves ground-bound
look like tiny stegosauruses
i stop running for a second glance
the drugs put me in this mess

and the reflection of the streetlights on Lynn Shore Drive
makes another runner appear in front of me
and i'm always behind
still, i alter my mind

and on the drive home i saw four kids pushing each other in a shopping cart
to show them how real life could be art
it brought a tear to my eye to notice that sight
i turned away and decided i'd try Molly tonight

what are you thinking about?
don't be afraid when i walk out
i'm just trying to talk to you
you can be domesticated and we can switch places
take my job in foodservice, you can work the grill
i'll live out in the wild and run amongst the hills

when the rungs of the ladder break from above
only the strong-willed and agile can cling to the sides
and keep on climbing

if you had bought the TSLA calls i wrote in the notes of: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4448684/rectangles-and-lines/

you would've tripled your money.

this is not a joke. i AM a financial advisor. listen to my ******* investment advice. the SEC can lick my taint

let your dreams not merely be figments, but pigments on life's canvas

crumbling dams
senses overflowed
neuronal excavation
floodgates unload
the world is a cave
and my lantern is broke

hookup culture always seemed lame
window shopping by finger swiping
i guess that's the modern game

people flirt and flaunt in hopes of action
i dodge them like the matrix
there's no ****** attraction

all the lingo is strange
what i'm trying to say
is i need an emotional bond
or we ain't ******* today

hard times make hard men
hard men make easy times
easy times make soft men
soft men make hard times

"chemistry is a pain in the hass!"
avogadro spouted malignantly
so he traveled the world
counted every avocado
and got 6.022x10^23

Armstrong gets all the credit
before long she'll have her fair share
she beat him i tell you!
months before the supposed "first steps"
she jumped in her rocket
and brought her instruments!

maybe one day i'll meet Lucia
build my own rocket and fly away!
we'll sing and play and color all day
oh me oh my we'll be so glad
to show the moon people records by Stereolab!

some say she died in a hospital in LA
but i know she's still up there,
enjoying the day!

at the Topsfield fair i saw my friend Karen
"oh hey Karen what're you doing here?"
"oh you know, just fairin'"

once a month
when you feel like ****
just become a potato
today i was a russet

- long and large,
with a thick, rough skin
not ashamed to say i had
a high starch amount within

i can be eaten mashed, boiled, or baked
the latter is easier from my tolerance break

today i did nothing

and that's ok

this is not a poem.
this is an idea next to a blank canvas
it is up to you to make it your own

think about it -
maybe you could write about
the relation between the faded white hues of chef boyardee's hat and the color of the used car?
or maybe about Mr. Boyardee negotiating with the Jeep salesman, bribing him with Chef Boyardee © branded ravioli?

think about the different scenarios
make this idea happen

freeverse, limerick, haiku
whatever you wish to do

YOU are the chosen one

good luck.

how foolish of me to think it could last
feels so slow yet somehow so fast
and as i wondered when the time had past
all the red flags returned to full mast
without a trace you were gone in a flash
the flags turned white and i surrendered at last