thanks for everything

for communicating your issues
in a stable manner
for being the face of self-growth
no matter what
for respecting my time
for valuing me

and they say
that sarcasm doesn't translate well over text
but what does it matter
when your whole life is a ******* joke

and this push and pull *******
taking energy away from me
it's not your eccentric personality
it's your ******* BPD

now my hair is falling out
i wonder where it's going
maybe if i search for it
i'll find myself again

you're not happier
but i'll be
cause i run off of spite
and whatever you say im not--
that's what i'll be

two worlds disjoined
your feet far apart
two inches a year
a hundred miles at heart

may you gain courage
enough to choose a side
absolve yourself of this double life
leave the rift behind

may the ash dissipate
so you may see clear
that our love for you stretches
across the lithosphere

it's not your fault
you had no choice
where to begin
but if you must,
show
them
with grace,
the volcanoes within

weather! weather! GOD it hits the spot
watch it whether i weather the weather or not
day and night and rain and light amidst the Earth's rotation
i'll put up a FIGHT if you try to deny the weather is a boring station

nickelodeon can take a hike
cartoon network was never that great
can you really say you're living life
without the local on the 8's?

Jim Cantore you never ever bore me
and as your number one viewer i know you just adore me
Mike Bettes is the best it gets
when he's on air my body starts the sweats
Stephanie Abrams is just so amazin'
when her forecasts are right my **** gets a-raising

with shaft in hand through the hole in my flannel
predicting some RAIN TONIGHT ON THE WEATHER CHANNEL

sorry if i haven't been paying close attention
but the Beatles are playing in your class and it's distracting!

how am i supposed to care about calculus
with McCartney singing right beside us?!

integrals and derivatives?
Lennon doesn't give a ****!

so the next time you see me falling asleep,
just

let it be

                                                                                                         let it be!

let it beeee

                                                                                                   let   it      be

im whispering words of wisdom,

let it beee

bwabwabwaaa


thank you for understanding my beatlemania, professor

sincerely,

-ryan

hard times make hard men
hard men make easy times
easy times make soft men
soft men make hard times

this could be the moment
your daydreams come true
you'll place your order
for endless love
and he'll wrap his arms around you

hours passed by
before you made the call
your biggest fear
was that none of the scenarios
would ever play out at all

trembling hands grasped the phone
oh, the social anxiety
maybe i'll be forever alone?
you thought
well, that's the story of me..

with teeth gritting and eyes shut
unaware there's no one to please
dialing..
"hey thanks for calling pizza hut"
"yea can i get two large extra cheese?"

they say you gotta learn Python to be in the know
pandas, numpy, and tensorflow!

it's like the whole path's been java-scripted
but the iceberg's there and you've not yet tipped it!

the kids on the streets all write ACAB
you gotta get them beat and write in MATLAB!

C with a hashtag and C double-crossed
get to Swift swiftly or you'll be at a loss!

pirates say "arrr" but coders say R
PHP, Ruby, Kotlin, and Dart!

so when you get discouraged, just remember these words:
coding is fun, and it's cool to be a nerd! :)

fire from the start
boundless expectations
wanna change the world
at every nameless station

but nobody'll ever help
my folks'd always say
"get your head outta the clouds
and focus on the day"

am i forced to feel too traditional for the city?
dreams slip through the sidewalk cracks
destined for obscurity

Ricky lived under a rock
He spent all his time day-trading stocks
He opened a tab
Googled "What's ACAB"
And now he finds cops to mock!

james stood up from the floor
he impatiently walked to the door
the half-life grew nearer
as he looked in the mirror
and said "**** man i need some more"

actors abound
stifling coffee stains
muffled sound

and you ~

seeing yourself
on the screen
feeling judgment
hard to believe
the voices
are they your own?

always never alone
the mailbox flag at half mast
rearrange the letters
of the alphabet
it's a blocked exit

lest you forget
the fourth is a broken firewall
and when he snaps his fingers
the theater will burn ~

and although i'm not a star
i know
i'll return

enslaved by fire
forced to watch, our souls
collective masochism
hive mind tragedies
the hand that feeds
whose existence is ceased
singing no more
melodies, somber
softly if any
a wince in the ether
beacons deceive her
ripples of light
rorschachs of sky
tearing our pages
erasing guests
laugh at,
meaningless

himalayan salt can't fight the beavers
and veruca salt can't fight the seether

ignorant plants can never know
that improper sunlight
obstructs their growth

sometimes we have to give them ears
to make them believe things
they don't wish to hear

they say life is a story
well if that's the case
then for the rubber band boy
his pages lie half-blank

for he does almost nothing
he sits and sits
and sometimes stands
and occasionally
he flicks rubber bands

at the walls of his room
marking the point of impact with a sharpie

and between the second point
and the first one
he draws a line

and he keeps going and going
until all corners of his room are filled with lines

then, picking his favorite wall, he overlays a map
where the most lines intersect, is where he travels next

he continues on, diligently
logging a tally
of all rooms he's been

for this is his purpose

he does nothing else

no wife, no job, just acceptance of himself

onlookers wonder
what incentivizes this man
he pays them no mind
and keeps flicking rubber bands

"chemistry is a pain in the hass!"
avogadro spouted malignantly
so he traveled the world
counted every avocado
and got 6.022x10^23

energy, scarcity
they say oil's a necessity
if they need more
we find it

they said it's too impure
and refined it

when they asked for coal
we mined it
the boomers sure don't mind it

church and state? they combined it
their self-worth, they defined it
as the value they give
to shareholders
hotter or colder
would it ever matter

they call us crazy
for caring
they're pushing daisies
we're pushing native lawns

i wonder when
the dam was built
a product of mind's flora
begging to wilt

i wonder why
you had to decide
after coming so far
you needed a guide

i wonder what
we could've done better
to avoid the stone
killing two birds of a feather

i wonder how
you think when you're down
do you let it overflow
or sink to the ground

i wonder who
has the audacity
to wonder so much
so equivocally

that person is me

yet i know how
i think when im down

and i know what
i should've done better

and i know why
i made you decide

and i know when
i lost the ability to cry

ethereal tree of life
tethered roots underground
inspiring me with bravery
golden light abounds
patiently awaiting
cosmic salvation
karmic deeds beget
universal reciprocation

back when it was important to be better than everyone else
i neglected myself
what was mental health
but a distraction from goals that couldn't be quelled
hourglass countdown
mousetrap shout now
never again
"never" is when
he grabs my arm
shirt sleeve tearing pieces stored in box
unbelievably his eyes lock with me
as he shows me the clock
it's 10 PM
do you know if your children's interests still revolve around the weaknesses of others?
keep it that way
keep them under your thumb
digging into their skin
blood laden monkeys paw unfurled
it's the only way they'll ever really get ahead in this world
you see, individuality is just a sin
concocted by philosophers
what keeps your maverick apathetic
they call that fabric softener
black water
coffee packed crying in father's cup
we all know how the story goes
the nail that sticks up

copy and paste is over and done—we just need alt + 0151 !

heavy drops crash down
mini bullet trains from above
our tickets, punched
with endless love

feet splashing asphalt
soaked in sky tears
forgiving its enemies
as long as you're near

to run in the rain
is to run nature's race
you turn, briefly
our arms embrace

rushing water
under our toes
a kiss,
"one mile left to go"

cover my eyes with foil
my ears with lies
cover my arms with birdseed and honey
watch me collapse
as i roll down the valley

my new friends take my energy
and fly away
so carelessly
but i can't complain
it's the way things are
those who come near
will always run far

a heart once gleeful
now i'll never ask for help
im tired of people
and of myself

if the earth is always
moving through space
if every day occurs
in a different place
then why does it all
feel so same

i am stuck to the ground
asking for change

ah say ah say don't eat today!
eating paves your way to pain!
for food is fraudulent fat fuel
and the friggin' fats don't attract the cool cats!
them's the facts!

that's what my brain tells me
when i glance at my pudgy belly

because it's easy to count the kcals
when you can't call any insulin inside

so when we ask you out to dinner
you'd better say no!
since dinner is for food-simping sinners!

two birds circling, unsure
one only sides by the stoners
how do i tell her
without digging the seed
that just this past week
i've quit ****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~      ­             
              
rainy days pave gateways
intertwining spirit, body, and mind

those were exactly the thoughts running through Caroline's head, as her half-empty boba cup provided support between the cold, metal fencing and her weary right temple. she pondered if this incessant rain would cease, and the chrysanthemums that grew behind the fence concurred.

she had been exploring the realm of visualization in weeks past. visualizing getting out of bed in the morning, getting chores done, and visualizing social situations before they occur. she was using it as a technique to be more productive and to ease her social anxiety. it had proven effective for her.

sick of all the rain, she started visualizing. her imagination fluttered with thoughts of clouds parting ways, of the brilliant sun beating down, heating up the fencing, and creating shadows which sprung to life the now-dancing chrysanthemums. she pictured hopping onto the fence and screaming joyously to the world, overcome profoundly by newfound sunshine.

while deep in her visualization, she felt a tinge near her heart. the same spot where she experiences the buildup of her most powerful feelings: rage, despair, and pure unbridled ecstasy. only this feeling was new, and she knew something big was brewing. she felt an incredible warmth expanding from her chest outwards.

Caroline slowly opened her eyes. her mind was just as clear as the sky. in utter awe, she wanted to scream and shout. to tell all her friends that the sun was out.

it was through those powerful visualizations
where she made her staggering realization

"everything in reality is all but fake
nothing is real except for what you make"

and she carried on with her day

doom impending right at our fingertips
world ending from lunatics
dissonance amidst
the left and right twix
what bliss
what a spectacle
the venn diagram between climate deniers and conspiracy theorists from the top down it's helical
electric vehicles
made to save an industry
to keep folks from working public service
so that they stay in factories
political pageantries
ocean acidification
chronic substantiation
they still don't believe
the data don't mean nothing to them
cause they never learned how to read
oklahoma senators bringing in snowballs
cause they got no ***** to admit
what they perpetuating is all false
factory farms with fake causes
free admission to the zero emissions show
with zero promises
corporate underbellies with no structural integrity
ignoring somber melodies
eating BP and jelly
in a dismal schism
no light for my prism
prisoner to capitalism
dreaming to cope
in a grayscale class
if i drop the soap
just greenwash my ***

hookup culture always seemed lame
window shopping by finger swiping
i guess that's the modern game

people flirt and flaunt in hopes of action
i dodge them like the matrix
there's no ****** attraction

all the lingo is strange
what i'm trying to say
is i need an emotional bond
or we ain't ******* today

green-tipped trees ripped bees' lips
"please flippin' cease rippin' these hip drips!"

james was a solo loner
he made friends with the local stoners
met a girl named beth
who sold him some ****
and now he's got a *******

other company's coffee beans
painfully purchasing

i already have:
opposable thumbs
attached to hands
and
legs,
arms,
eyes,
and land

grow it yourself

but what about:
time for travel
with scenic hikes
and
runs,
art,
love,
and psychs

no

put those thoughts up on the shelf
*******, and do it yourself

and this
                                             and that
                                    and this                         and that
                      and this              and that    and this            and that
       and this          and that                      and this and that and this
    and that   and this       and that and this       and that and this and that andthis  andthat    andthis andthat  andthis     andthat   andthis
andthatandthisandthatandthisandthatandthisandthatandthisa­ndthatandthatandthisandthatandthisandthatandthisandthatandthisand­thatandthatandthisandthatandthisandthatyousuckandthisandthatand­thisandthatandthatandthisandthatandthisandthatandthisandthatandth­isandthatbeproductiveyoushitfaceandthatandthisandthatandthisand­thatandthisandthatandthisandthatandthatandthisandthatandthisandth­atandthisandthatandthisandthatandthisduerfrykteligandthatandthi­sandthatandthatandthisandthatandthisandthatandthisandthatandthisa­ndthat

they help you fight the sunday scaries
go forth and ignite the metabolic fairies
the team of fruits always needs a carry
the answer is the RASPBERRY!! YEAAA!!!

blueberries? blackberries?
those are the colors of bruises!
when it comes to the great berry test
the raspberry never loses!

can't recant my chant to demand the freshly farmed organic plants however scant they're worth the transplant from stem to plate to
shoo-*** doo-woppity bippity boppin mary poppins, man!



RASPBERRIES YEAAAA!!

hiking boots brought
green hills climbed
difficult journey, but
only good times

at the top,
barter is offered
paper for grass
is instantly passed

going continues, unknowingly
climbing on air

disruptive, eruptive volcano
freezes the mind
perils of quicksand
prospects of return

lava subsides, turning
freeze to flight

in the distance
a higher peak
is obliviously avoided

dazed and confused,
the hiking man
rendered penniless again

In an eon from now
Will these poems
Be mutilated at the seams
By demons spawned from hell?

In a generation from now
Will these poems
Be burned to death
By an unruly cigarette?

In twenty years from now
Will my poems
Be willingly ignored
By my hatred of my own past?

When I change
Will I still accept who I once was?

for all the people whose fathers lie

for all the people whose fathers spy
on each thing that ticks
their paranoid minds

for all the people whose fathers are weak,

for all the people whose fathers scream
"i wanna **** myself"
"i wanna die"
"i wanna see the ******* light way up in the sky"

for all the people whose fathers can't see
what it means to be emotionally free
well,

now you know who not to be

stay strong,

please

clamoring for yams?
head to the yammery!
for all your yam-related needs

we hold daily jamborees
next to the old jam cannery!
all proceeds go to fighting
tumors in the mammary

what are you waiting for?!

be the change you want to see
getchur **** yams at the yammery!
for nam vets, first yams are free

Earth, Sep 30, 2021 /AlienNewswire/ -- Subject: A6P9E

one hand on the keyboard, the other in a doritos bag
fiercely staring at his screens, cursing any signs of lag

unrelenting focus lights his eyes, oblivious to any world outside
engaged in only lines and rectangles, rectangles and lines

every human minute, a new rectangle appears
the green ones are good, but the reds bring him fear

clenching all orifices
a mouse-click
a new rectangle
more lines
it's green
another mouse-click
pure elation

with a sigh of relief, the subject waddles over to his 69th monitor, just delivered by an Amazon drone
he powers it up and immediately starts watching ****
because one addiction isn't enough apparently

- reported by Jack Ma the Alien, sent to papa Elon via Neuralink

they think
i'm their therapist
that my advice is gold
but they don't know
i'm trying to see
at 19 years old
if my hairline's receding
or if i'm just being told
by the chemicals in my mind
that i'm not worthy of my goals
that i'm not worthy of the folks
i've met along the way
the ones who claim to respect me
not meaning what they say
and the girls try to flirt
i stand poker-faced daydreaming
nightmares of how i'll be hurt
should i shave my head
to lose weight
or will the stress take it first?

Today, let's do a 10 minute meditation
To help keep you in your present situation
To focus on the now, and ease your mind
Now keep calm, let's see what you find

Sit up straight, that's the first step
Then close your eyes, take deep breaths
Release the tension, let go of it all
Feel the calm, and heed my call

Find a focus point, I prefer my breath
But if you wish, focus on your chest
Notice the rise upon inhalation
Let it out, keep your concentration

To help stay grounded, here's a mantra for you
"The future can wait, the present is your view"
Repeat in your head, don't pause or quiver
To help even more, here are sounds of a river

"Woosh woosh woosh, glug glug glug"
No that's not my voice, are you on drugs?—𝘉𝘈𝘕𝘎
What was that you ask? That's the sound of my gong
It reminds you to focus, is that so wrong?

Now just stay quiet
It's almost the end
Just sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
And when you're ready,















OPEN YOUR EYES
OPEN THEM NOW
LOOK AT ALL THE PAIN
THERE IS ONLY SUFFERING

YOUR PARENTS HAVE LEFT YOU
THERE IS STILL NO MILK
YOUR MONEY IS GONE
THE ROOM IS ON FIRE

HATRED IS EVERYWHERE
EVERYONE IS RACIST
EVEN THE ELEPHANTS
THAT WOULD BE THE CASE IF THE ELEPHANTS WEREN'T DEAD

ALL BABIES HAVE TERMINAL CANCER
THE TREES ARE CUTTING THEMSELVES
THE WALLS ARE CAVING IN
YOU HAVE AN ORAL PRESENTATION DUE TODAY







alright, that's the end, thanks for listening
have a lovely day

bald! bald! bald! he called
from wall to hall as he couldn't stall
the tall task of masking his hair loss
as his eyeballs looked ever so appalled

the stress will mess the rest, i guess
and for us,
we'll be out in the woods
for when have you ever seen a true woodsman
without any hair on his head?

the people of the woods may get mauled
but without 9 to 5's
they will NEVER go bald!

the first law of thermodynamics states that:
energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only altered

the dictionary defines death as
the cessation of life

this is contradictory
as all life is equivalent to energy
life cannot be destroyed,
only altered

and so,
"death" is just the transfer of your energy
to microorganisms who feed on your body
who then continue the cycle
dispersing your energy across the universe

so why be afraid of it?

death as you know it
does not exist
you are afraid of nothing
why be afraid of anything?

why be afraid to talk to your crush?
to talk to the person on the bus?
to give to someone all your trust?
to accept former actions as unjust?

you live
you learn
you transfer your energy
and the cycle continues for all eternity

you are the culmination of trillions of years of work
and the producer of infinite more
step down from your fears
let the story unfold

Yuh kid went through years of abuse
So don't be tryna make a truce
When ya see em downin the chartreuse Chartreuse
Like juice, they're socially anxious and gotta cut loose
To get their hands on that ripe red caboose!

Cuz tyin' a noose is like killin' a goose
You end up with god in a tragic deuce

walking in the mall, between a Sephora and a Lids,
"hey buddy! you wanna help feed Haitian kids?"

"why, sure!" i said, "you're in luck!"
strolled over to his booth and gave him five bucks

"now am i able to ask you another question?"

"sure bro" i replied, "you seem pretty ni—"

"DO YOU SUPPORT THE LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST?"

"what..
no sir, but i just try my best to be a good person"

"WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE?"

"well logically there isn't any evid—"

"im gonna stop you right there. let me share a little story"

"man im really just tryna buy a skateb—"

"ALRIGHT SO EVERYDAY ABOUT 6 MONTHS AGO I WAS SMOKIN' CRACK *******.."

my buddy said to add him on pokemon go
gave a string of numbers called his 'trainer code'

zero, nine, four, two
piplup, snivy, and pikachu!

seven, two, four, three
geodude, chansey, and bunnelby!

zero, four, four, seven
i can't think of any pokemon that rhyme with seven

mailbox hopping means no stopping
every day there's a new house to drop in
i live with the owner's and dig inside their brains
and by the end i feel i've become just like them
is my personality like water?
internal cannon fodder?
if each day im sent back from one to nil
then what does that say about my free will?

dead leaves ground-bound
look like tiny stegosauruses
i stop running for a second glance
the drugs put me in this mess

and the reflection of the streetlights on Lynn Shore Drive
makes another runner appear in front of me
and i'm always behind
still, i alter my mind

and on the drive home i saw four kids pushing each other in a shopping cart
to show them how real life could be art
it brought a tear to my eye to notice that sight
i turned away and decided i'd try Molly tonight

Steven Streeter stole a sack of sickled lepers

he shortly sold several and was surrounded by shekels

99% isopropyl alcohol
a **** ton of epsom salt
gets the grime and grease off the piece
none of which is my fault

Stay present, sons and daughters
Hopping around in mud-soaked waters
You all delightfully scream
As if there were ice cream

Laughter spreads as contagious
As the ******-filled book pages
Of the hungry hungry caterpillar
Loved before the fun-killer

All paths are the same
Innocent joy turns to shame
I'll join you all and get my fill
After I pay my electric bill

Armstrong gets all the credit
before long she'll have her fair share
she beat him i tell you!
months before the supposed "first steps"
she jumped in her rocket
and brought her instruments!

maybe one day i'll meet Lucia
build my own rocket and fly away!
we'll sing and play and color all day
oh me oh my we'll be so glad
to show the moon people records by Stereolab!

some say she died in a hospital in LA
but i know she's still up there,
enjoying the day!