Blood is thicker than water they say
Forget to mention it drowns you faster they may
But through all the discomfort and dismay
Blood is thicker than water they say

If you want to live, water is a must
Your own blood is what you should trust
Seems my family's bonds were rust
Upon which I submit it to dust

Like a stab wound with no knife
A house with no knight
Your lifeline rope, tied in a hangman's knot
At no surprise to me for all this I knew.

Love and support were always lacking
I'd watch as families shared smiles
Just to be envious to walk those miles
Instead I got a much different love.. Trials.

Write, written, wrote, and rot
Speak, spoken, spoke, and draught
Life's lessons, soon forgot
Another chapter laid to thought

Chances not given
Chances taken away
Two different edges
On this sharp blade

Both cut deep into different victims
Same blood spilled,
but drip from different wrists.

One and Twenty-Six
Has always been haunting.
Two and Twenty-Five
Has always been daunting.

Three and Twenty-Four
Was his last year to see
Four and Twenty-Three
Will this number take me?

Five and Twenty-Two
Was his end, not mine
Six and Twenty-One
My beginning, I'm fine

Seven and Twenty
May he rest peacefully
Twenty and Seven
May he rest in Heaven.

To see the air
Would make me smile
But to feel its touch
Would make me shiver.

To embrace the fire
Would keep me warm
But I tried to get to close
Only to be burned.

To hold the Earth
Comforts within
Must be cautious
Rocks can crumble too.

To swim with the Water
was fun, until she got to deep
Her current pulling and dragging
I couldn't breathe but was kindly in peace.

The one within is an adversary like no other
He tells me I'm nothing and I cant help but to listen
I know that hes wrong but I cant think of another
That could fit the words given

Worry clouds logic as I lay alone at night
Sometimes I feel like I'm losing this fight
Even as I try with all my might
I stand shaking in fear of that sight

I feel lost in this battle of not knowing
Logic says you'd tell me if I was wrong
But that voice chimes in and says that I'm not glowing
In the pupil's of your eyes I'm just crowing.

I've tried my hardest
To show you where my heart is
Anything I could
You know that I would

Never have I had such fear
For that which is so dear
Knowing I could crush
If I had no right to see your blush

That blush so peaceful and powerful
It is a fable among the faeries
It would smother even the War Flames of Aries.

These battles within hardly shared
A war between what I fear and what I feel
I wish I knew how you cared
To help these scars start to heal

You'll always win and you'll also lose
When you decide it's time to go war
Which weapons will you use
To fight off this adversary that is you but more

Glister of the glasses shattered
The dream state of the masses scattered
Picture perfect was always tattered
But even so I pray my praise mattered

Others see what I adore so much
But none as I, all they seek is touch
I would too, but I seem to crutch
Because through this lens I can see a hutch

I wrote instructions on how to live and strive
But I cant read my own handwriting on how to survive
Without certain knowledge how can one thrive?
I know if I continue an end will soon arrive.

These once renown lenses shown a world
Kinda rose tinted but slipped and hurled
Cracks on the lens, the glass was curled
Disorienting sight that was swirled.

I'll leave the glasses there on the shelf
Until I can get up and find it myself
Nothing is perfect and no one is either
I guess it means this is now a breather