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It was a rainy day, when i told you goodbye.

I didn’t see your reaction, nor see you cry.
All i know is that night,
Two hearts were broken and the love we had
Died.
Away with your fictions of flimsy romance,
  Those tissues of falsehood which Folly has wove;
Give me the mild beam of the soul-breathing glance,
  Or the rapture which dwells on the first kiss of love.

Ye rhymers, whose bosoms with fantasy glow,
  Whose pastoral passions are made for the grove;
From what blest inspiration your sonnets would flow,
  Could you ever have tasted the first kiss of love.

If Apollo should e’er his assistance refuse,
  Or the Nine be dispos’d from your service to rove,
Invoke them no more, bid adieu to the Muse,
  And try the effect, of the first kiss of love.

I hate you, ye cold compositions of art,
  Though prudes may condemn me, and bigots reprove;
I court the effusions that spring from the heart,
  Which throbs, with delight, to the first kiss of love.

Your shepherds, your flocks, those fantastical themes,
  Perhaps may amuse, yet they never can move:
Arcadia displays but a region of dreams;
  What are visions like these, to the first kiss of love?

Oh! cease to affirm that man, since his birth,
  From Adam, till now, has with wretchedness strove;
Some portion of Paradise still is on earth,
  And Eden revives, in the first kiss of love.

When age chills the blood, when our pleasures are past—
For years fleet away with the wings of the dove—
The dearest remembrance will still be the last,
Our sweetest memorial, the first kiss of love.
I don’t want to keep living without you.
You told me to wait.
I’m doing my best.

Everyday I’m dying without you.
It’s hard to breathe.
It’s hard to rest.

Every time I see you smile,
I wonder if you miss me.
Or if I was only a burden.

I don’t want to keep living without you.
We were one.
We were us.

I never wanted to lose you,
Now I don’t want to live without you.
You made me smile.

I don’t want to keep living without you.
Not one more second.
Please come back.

I scream and I cry and I pray all night.
The moment you come back.
The moment normal will be back.

It’s harder and harder and harder everyday.
Why leave me in this place in hell?

I lost you.
I lost more.
The most I need is for you to say everything will be okay.
 Oct 2018 Traveller in time
chris
bloomed in this garden of loneliness,
there was a flower that resembled you
I’m sorry that I couldn't tell you how I was feeling,
I'm sorry that I always left relationships
broken and scarred.
I'm sorry I told you I was fine,
when in all reality I wanted to take my own life.
I wanted to tell you about what was going though my head,
I really did.
I really wanted to discuss
how thoughts of harming myself filled my head,
or how close I was one night to taking a whole bottle of unidentified medicine,
or how I've become so distant from you guys.
I just ended up filling my mind with decisions I’d dread in the morning.
I left you guys,
And replaced the feelings I had with this emotionally inexpressible teen.
I’m sorry that I began to feel this way,
You have to believe all I wanted was happiness,
But I simply couldn’t gain strength to do so,
but I’m here now.
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